No One's Getting Laided On Facebook Anymore

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

If you think that's fake, know this: we once had a capatcha on Ticketmaster that read "penile imploder."

I know it's hard to believe, but I have been picked up on Facebook before. (I'll let Colleen, Emly, and Ina weigh in on their own success, if they want-- but this is speaking strictly for myself.)

It doesn't happen very often, and certainly not since I removed "Single" from my profile, but it's entirely true that Facebook is a hotbed of sexual activity. According to this interesting chart we just came across, everyone is surfing Facebook after midnight in the hopes of getting laid and ending up at least claiming to have succeeded...

 

The graph charts the rise and fall of users claiming to have had sex-- after a drop around the end of last year, everyone is now saying "had sex" in their status updates, prompting the recent two-month-long spike on the readout. Whether these people had sex or just asked everyone else, desperately, "Hey Jamie-- had sex last night?" remains to be seen. Or doesn't-- since it's not like anyone's doing a formal study. (By the way, check out everyone getting laid in the fall/winter of '07/'08. Hot damn, where were we?)

Which leaves it up to us to ask-- are you getting laid thanks to Facebook?

Via Metro UK.  

 

Related:

Andy Asks: Facebook or F*ckbook?

Tropical Ants Have Completely Done Away With Men

While You Were Sleeping: The Endless Power of Bras

While You Were Sleeping: Lara Flynn Boyle Still Getting Naked

From Scanner HQ


Comments

Apollo said:

I've not ever gotten laid because of Facebook. How exactly does one go about picking someone up on Facebook? Just find a picture you like and send 'em a message? Seems kinda creepy.

April 16, 2009 2:57 PM

avedon said:

All these means of harassing people from a good distance -and facebook man, it's like a bar, but virtual dude!

Sure. If you need to get laid, go to a normal bar, to the beach, to church at sunday -somewhere where there actually is people to pick up.

Facebook is an exellent way to find long lost friends and share invitations to a parties and such. When there is interaction, there's sex. Study says 85 % of women playing World of Warcraft has been out on a date with someone they've met in the wartorn fantasyland. (Curiously only 60% of these were single :)

Why don't we argue about cellphones? They are a sex trap in yor pocket, in yor kids pocket and if you get buried with one -even necromancy flourishes. Get a face, forget the books and just go do it.

April 16, 2009 3:37 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Nerve, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

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