Scottish poet Carol Ann Duffy was named the U.K.'s first female Poet Laureate. She's also the first openly gay person to hold the title. [TIME]

Okay, Megan Fox is hot. But Megan Fox eating a hamburger is even hotter, right? [VIDEO: Esquire]

Oprah gave someone else a talk show (hint: it wasn't us). Jenny McCarthy already has her own blog on Oprah.com and now she's getting her own show. How do we get a blog on Oprah.com? [People]

Robert Duvall vs. Wal-Mart. We don't have to tell you whose side we're on. [Yahoo!]

We can all stop worrying about Swine Flu because something else is going to kill us first. Time to beware of Raccoon Ringworm, or Raccoon Roundworm or whatever the hell you want to call the parasite that has blinded a teenager and made an infant brain dead. How the infant came in contact with raccoon feces we don't now. [The Inqisitr]