Scanner

Browse by Tags

• Scanner Highs and Lows: Is It Really Ever About Anything But Boobs?

  What you don't know yet is that our mom flashed our friends at our book party...  Read More... Posted Oct 10 2008, 05:25 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: boobs, google, tina fey, halle berry, books, Barack Obama, highs and lows, email, pictures, drunk emailing, debates, emily farris, book deals, sarah palin, craczy cat lady action figure, scanner emily's mom, madonna sarah palin, childrenn, casserolele crazy, neon, scanner emily's mom's boobs

• Sloppy Seconds: Tina Fey's $6M Book Deal

  Nick Nolte's house has $3 million worth of damage after a fire ripped through his estate on Tuesday. Guess it can suck to be wealthy. [Us] Ashlee Simpson dressed up like her big sister Jessica when celebrating her 24th birthday. "Ashlee wore Daisy Dukes and platform flip-flops with a bathing suit and a fake tattoo around her belly." [People] Read More... Posted Oct 08 2008, 05:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: tina fey, sloppy seconds, Us Weekly, fire, money, ashlee simpson, book deals, nick nolte, jessica simpson naked, tina fey as sarah palin, bonnie fuller

• While You Were Sleeping: Don't Drink The Drinking Water, People

  Poor Anne Hathaway, and we don't mean that in a mocking way: she had to hand over all the lovely jewels her ex gave her... because they were allegedly purchased with stolen funds. (We hate it when that happens.) Meanwhile, the suave gangster paramour of hers faces at least five years in prison and is still in jail, pending a million dollars' bond, and rumored to be working on a plea deal. If you're a poll kind of person (we're kind of not), here are 19 new ones on the Presidential race. Quickly: McCain leads in Alabama, Georgia, Idaho, and Wyoming; Obama leads in Colorado, Michigan, and Pennsylvania; and they're tied in Nevada, North Carolina, and Ohio. And who will be the surprise special guest during Michael Phelps' hosting of SNL this weekend? Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 09:26 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: movies, halloween, drugs, jail, saturday night live, breakups, Barack Obama, thievery, polls, lauren conrad, john McCain, elections, President, SNL, drinking water, tori spelling, jennie garth, mariah carey, book deals, anne hathaway, michael phelps, shannen doherty, clothing line, special guest

• Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West's Arrest

  Janet Jackson kicked off her first tour in six years with an emotional performance in Vancouver. [People] We pity the fool who will soon be Mr. Tara Reid. [dListed] We're not the only ones expecting the new 90210 to suck. Shannen Doherty doesn't plan to do more than four episodes. [Yahoo!] Spiderman Tobey McGuire is all set to give his big speech at the 9/11 memorial service tonight. Huh? [Cryptome] Read More... Posted Sep 11 2008, 05:13 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, the hills, marriage, heidi klum, sloppy seconds, books, kanye west, weddings, penis, TMZ, project runway, glasses, lauren conrad, 9/11, janet jackson, beverly hills 90210, tara reid, elle, nina garcia, book deals, tour, 90210, sarah palin, lipstick, kanye west arrested, lax, harper collins, shannen doherty, tobey mcguire, pit bull in lipstick, spiderman, pitbull in lipstick, performance, emotions, engagement

• Bush: Me Like Book, Me Write Book

  See, no one is going to give this incompetent ass, a born follower, a high-powered position in the private sector when he's finally, finally out of office. Okay, maybe Halliburton will hook him up. In any case, he hemmorhages money like I'm hemmorhaging brain cells after a night of birthday drinking. George Bush knows he'll have to make a quick killing when he leaves the White House, or else he's going to end up a dopey old pauper like Harry Truman, who was so poor Congress made a law saying ex-Presidents were not allowed to be poor again. Read More... Posted Jun 17 2008, 11:50 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: osama bin laden, books, sports, george w bush, florida, President Bush, 9/11, book deals, presidents

• Lynne Spears Will Not Let Dina Lohan Out-Exploit Her

  Dina Lohan may be whoring out her family on "Living Lohan" in an effort to make a quick buck and enjoy her 15 minutes while carrying some tacky hand bag, but Lynne Spears is hot on Lohan's heels with a tell-all memoir about — what else? — her family. And dammit, if Jamie Lynn hadn't gone and gotten herself knocked-up it would have come out right about now. Material, Lynne! Material! Just think of everything that happens in your life and the lives of your daughters as material for making yourself more famous (and rich!). Read More... Posted Jun 12 2008, 02:53 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: television, lynne spears, dina lohan, book deals, living lohan, exploitation

• Barbara Walters' Wet Hot American Interracial Affair

  Over the years, Barbara Walters has been pretty forgiving of most of her subjects and their misgivings, or at least she comes off as fairly non-judgmental. Maybe that's because she's no angel herself. Baba admitted during a recent taping of the Oprah show to an affair with a married senator in the 1970's. Read More... Posted May 02 2008, 01:34 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: books, interracial dating, memoirs, barbara walters, affairs, book deals, adultrey, senator edward brooke

• Miley Cyrus Will Write a Memoir, We Will Rip Our Eyeballs Out

  We hope to write a memoir someday. You know, when we're old, and we've done stuff, and voted in every election and birthed children who've birthed children, and overcome some great adversity or life-threatening disease. Isn't that what memoirs are supposed to be? So what the fuck does fifteen-year-old Miley Cyrus have to write about in her upcoming memoir? And why is she getting paid seven figures to do it? Read More... Posted Apr 23 2008, 09:51 AM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: books, miley cyrus, memoirs, bullshit, book deals, joan didion