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• While You Were Sleeping: Joining the Mile High Club

  Forty million people tuned in to watch Obama's press conference. Yes, but what does it mean? We're not sure what to say about the bank robber who rammed his getaway car into another car, fled, took a bus, taxi, and a ride from his sister, and was finally apprehened at home with a paltry four grand when he was forced to call 9-1-1. It turns out that he'd arrived home to find his roommate dead of an apparent suicide. Oh no! A Three Stooges movie now?! Make it stop... and tell these actors we now officially hate them Read More... Posted Mar 26 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, angelina jolie, benicio del toro, Barack Obama, GOP, brad pitt, mile high club, Chicago, skype, st. patrick's day, Breakup of the Week, jim carrey, sean penn, calories, burger, robberies, president obama, at&t

• Weight Watchers Does Not Endorse That Kind of Exercise

  Hey, Scanner Emily here. If you recall, one of the promises I made to myself when I moved to the Midwest was that I would not become a fat Midwesterner (you know, I've got to maintain that svelte size 10). So, I turned to the old weight loss standby, Weight Watchers. I use the online program and get really excited when I can trade in my daily walk or my less regular run for an extra serving of pasta. You see, Weight Watchers offers activity points for all kinds of activities: walking, jogging, running, biking, dancing, golf, horseback riding, motorcycle riding (really?) and even barn cleaning. But what does the list not include?  Read More... Posted Feb 19 2009, 12:29 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: eating, fat, running, calories, weight watchers, size 10, motorcycle riding, weight watchers activity points, carbs, weight watchers activity points for sex, activity points, fat midwesterners, midwest, calories burned during sex, sex as exercise, pasta, exercising, barn cleaning, activity points for sex, clothing sizes

• Coffee And Nuts Will Give You Manboobs

  We couldn't bring ourselves to post pictures of major manboobs, so this will have to do. Are you a man? Do you drink instant coffee and/or eat Brazilian nuts? No? Okay, good, we'll still be your friend. However, if you're a man who does either of these things, you're in danger of growing manboobs, according to a strange new study... Read More... Posted Sep 16 2008, 11:03 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: animals, man boobs, food, coffee, united kingdom, boobies, fat people, the sun, nuts, calories, breast cancer, fertility

• Sloppy Seconds: And Who Do These Glorious Breasts Belong To?

  Yet another reason (beyond Scanner Emily's blind love) that ABC should not have canceled "Men in Trees?" Anne Heche is now too broke to pay child support. [Gabby Babble] Jodie Foster and her undercover lover of 14 years, Cydney Bernard, have split. We wonder if the trouble began before or after Foster thanked Bernard publicly. [Defamer]  Enough with the stupid celebrity couple names already! Johnifer? Really? [Us] Read More... Posted May 15 2008, 05:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: angelina jolie, sloppy seconds, john mayer, jodie foster, Paris, mischa barton, boob envy, breasts, jack black, anne heche, jennifer aniston, calories