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• Quote of the Day: "I molded my ass."

  "I molded my ass, so I could call it 'chocolate starfish.' It was white chocolate, and I put a dark chocolate little thing right in the middle." Who said it? Read More... Posted Jun 11 2008, 01:43 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: chocolate, cake, birthdays, asses, birthday cake, quote of the day

• Sloppy Seconds: Who Says Homosexuality and Polygamy Are The Same Thing?

  We'll never think of Folsom Prison the same way again. [Fleshbot] Ultra-Orthodox residents of Jerusalem have demanded a "Sex and the City" movie billboard be taken down because it contains the word "sex." Hm, "And the City," kind-of sounds like our life lately. [Defamer]  Buffy the Vampire Slayer has officially become college curriculum. Maybe it's finally time for us to start watching. [elPasoTimes] Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 06:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: bacon, chocolate, marriage, sloppy seconds, Sex and the City, gay marriage, johnny cash, homosexuality, buffy the vampire slayer, Jews, ellen degeneres, polygamists, folsom prison, ted kennedy

• The Incredible, Edible Anus is Way Too Popular for Its Own Good

  Is this the opposite of food porn? We're assuming that the online shop for Bisus Chocolates is closed due to demand being greater than supply, because who wouldn't want to eat chocolates in the shape of an asshole? Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 05:02 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: chocolate, eating, ass, food porn, anus, edible anus

• Top 10 Things Younger Than John McCain

  A reader sent us this delightfully ageist, partisan hatchet job on the candidate attempting to become the oldest President ever (no, not Hillary Clinton, c. 2013), Senator John McCain. John McCain is older than the word "old." When John McCain was a child, his granpappy was referred to as "ye olde man." Note the difference in spelling. John McCain is older than nylons, which means he is older than boners. Do we sound too much like "The Late Show With David Letterman." We apologize-- although you should still check out our hilarious little list, stolen straight from the website "Things Younger Than John McCain." Read More... Posted May 14 2008, 04:17 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: sesame street, chocolate, hillary clinton, spam, Barack Obama, tom cruise, old and crazy, david letterman, scientology, john McCain, john travlota, radio, kirstie alley, old people, dick cheney, McDonald's, monty python, alaska, san francisco

• Rape = Chocolate Cake?

  The British National Party, "a far-right, whites-only party in the United Kingdom," [Wikipedia] is stirring up a hornet's nest full of stink with this latest social faux pas. It all started when some people with IQs above 14 got around to reading one candidate's blog... Read More... Posted Apr 11 2008, 11:29 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: chocolate, bloggers, blogs, great britain, united kingdom, rape, right-wing, politicians

• Is It Politically Incorrect to Say "Happy Easter?"

  Yeah, it probably is. But we needed an excuse to post this thing.   Posted Mar 23 2008, 10:31 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: chocolate, politcal correctness, easter, chocolate bunnies, sunday, political incorrectness

• If We'd Had a Valentine, He Would Have Given Us the Chocolate Scrabble Bar

  [Chocolate Scrabble]  Posted Feb 15 2008, 01:22 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: chocolate, valentine's day, scrabble, candy, chocolate scrabble

• Nintendo-Themed Valentine's Chocolates Harder to Get Than a Wii

  Find yourself in love with a serious video-game geek? Better not mention that you missed out on the totally sold-out Mii chocolates... Read More... Posted Feb 12 2008, 12:00 PM by Bryan Christian with | with no comments Filed under: chocolate, Wii, nintendo, valentine's day, candy, Mii

• Willy Wonka's Chocolate-Squishing Factory

  There are no vibrators, porn, or David Hasselhoff, but there's something about this story we can't get over. Barry Colenso, British chocolatier who once made an entire billboard out of chocolate, has resigned from his position as master chocolatier at Thorton's after he was caught by employees of a rival store in an "act of truffle-squishing." This is not something that actually happens, this is the climax of a movie starring Bill Murray about a chocolatier who found his wife in bed with his best friend that morning, then lost a huge client at work because he mistakenly insulted the man's wife, and stepped in dog poop after being thrown out of his limousine. Can't you just see the guy at the end of his rope, all rage and frustration, reason and propriety out the window, just squishing and squishing this asshole rival's truffles. It's Dan Ackroyd in Trading Places. Forgive us for digressing into breaking chocolate news, we become giddy anytime someone with the word "master" in their title has a public meltdown Posted Oct 18 2007, 11:15 AM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: chocolate, crazytown

• In the News: Colbert for Prez, Naked Chocolate Jesus, Pillow Fight!

  We wish this wasn't a joke: Stephen Colbert is running for President. "After nearly 15 minutes of soul-searching, I have heard the call," said Colbert. See, no one ever talks about sexy, man-loving feminists, but they should: Survey finds that feminists have healthier, more romantic heterosexual relationships. Older men with feminist partners said they had more stable relationships and greater sexual satisfaction. Holiness never tasted so delicious: Naked chocolate Jesus sculpture to be shown at a New York City art gallery amid some protest. The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights said it will not protest because, unlike before, there are no plans to put the "anatomically correct" Jesus in public view during Holy Week. That's it, pillow-fight the argument away: Belgian students organize a giant pillow fight mocking linguistic and regional rivalries between Dutch and French speakers. The impasse prompted media to speculate that the 177-year-old nation might break apart. Posted Oct 18 2007, 09:05 AM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: feminism, chocolate, pillow fight, colbert, jesus