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• If These F-ing Hippies Would Have Gotten The Swine Flu Shot in The 70's Maybe We Wouldn't Be In This Mess

  We're starting to believe that this swine flu business is really just a giant hoax created by the media to save media jobs. And if that's true, well, we can't really blame anyone. But if it turns out to be a real threat, we have only our parents to blame. The pig virus reared its ugly pink snout back in the seventies, and if those damn hippies would have just taken the time to eradicate it with a simple vaccine, maybe we wouldn't have crazies running around New York in masks and schools closing in Texas. But no, they were too busy making free love and taking magic mushrooms. Now we're all going to die. Thanks, you f-ing hippies, for not being scared enough by this 1976 swine flu PSA. Read More... Posted Apr 30 2009, 11:01 AM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: sex, fear, the seventies, videos, PSA, pot, hippies, mushrooms, the 70's, swine flu, pig flu, free love, swine flu 1976, 1976 swine flu, pandemics, f-ing hippies, scare tactics, f-ing hipsters, 1976, public service announcements

• Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

  HBO is developing a new show called "Women's Studies." And we all know what that means. [AfterEllen] Author JG Ballard, perhaps best known for his book "Empire of the Sun" is dead at 78. [Yahoo!] If Pulitzer Prize winners are being laid off, is there any hope for us? [Portfolio] Tennis star Andy Roddick married his girlfriend Brooklyn Decker on Friday. [People] Read More... Posted Apr 20 2009, 06:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: kids, sloppy seconds, dead people, death, HBO, the UK, toilet, jobs, television, lesbians, fear, pregnancy, authors, journalism, recession, grey's anatomy, ellen pompeo, cheese, breast milk, television shows, lay offs, laid off, monday, toddlers, jg ballard, toilet training, pulizter prize, breast milk cheese, writing, potty training, women's studies, empire of the sun, april 20

• Rogue Entomologist Has a Bright Future in Terrifying Small Children

  This is a Praying Mantis dressed as the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland. See and that's a simple enough thing to comprehend. We'd like to say it's just a lone, anomolous Praying Mantis with a red skirt on but, unfortuantely, that's not the case. Because it'll take a bit more than one creepy, dressed-up bug to strike fear in our hearts. It'll take bugs hiding where you'd least expect them....like, for example, inside childhood toys... Read More... Posted Jul 29 2008, 01:54 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: toys, fear, creepy, bugs, alice in wonderland

• 5 Terrifying Rites of Manhood Make Us Grateful for Our Vaginas

  If you ask us (or at least if you ask Scanner Nicole) boys can have that whole "manhood" thing. Especially when proving it involves jumping from a 100-foot platform with nothing but a vine around your ankles and a prayer in your heart, as it does in the manhood rite performed byeight-year-old boys of the Vanuatu tribe. 12- to 15-year-old Ethiopian boys of the Hamar tribe jump straight over cows in front of friends and family and Australian Aborigines aren't circumcized until15 or 16. And you guys thought having to take a shower in gym class was bad (greatest TV moment ever, after the jump). Read More... Posted Jun 09 2008, 03:12 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: fear, freaks and geeks, manhood

• Third Nipple Mystery Solved

  Third nipples, as we learned yesterday, afflict 1/18th of the population. So, who is the man behind the three nipples before you? Who is this unsung hero of the third nipple pride movement? You've probably been tossing and turning all night in anticipation.  Have no Fear-- you'll find out after the jump.  Read More... Posted May 09 2008, 04:35 PM by Katie Halper with | with no comments Filed under: nipples, fear, marky mark, third nipple, Good Vibrations, Funky Bunch, mark Wahlberg, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

• We Knew It: Halle Berry is Terrified of Giving Birth

  Remember last week when Halle Berry said she wanted to stay pregnant forever? Because she was glowing? Yeah, we didn't buy that bullshit for a second. Read More... Posted Jan 17 2008, 02:59 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: halle berry, babies, fear, pregnancy, fame crawler

• Genetically Modified Fearless Mouse Cute, But a Little Scary

  Scientists in Japan have genetically modified a mouse to make it "fearless;" it just marched it's cute little mouse ass right up to a cat and tried to cuddle. While it sounds like the plot for an animated Disney movie, we get the feeling this is not good news for earthlings who rely on their intuition to stay away from things like rotten food and rotten people: [The findings show] that fear is genetically hardwired and not learned through experience, as commonly believed. Mice are naturally terrified of cats and usually panic or flee at the smell of one, research team leader Ko Kobayakawa said. But mice with certain nasal cells removed through genetic engineering didn't display any fear...The findings suggest that human aversion to dangerous smells like that of rotten food, for example, could also be genetically predetermined, he said.  [Via PR-inside.com] Posted Dec 13 2007, 10:37 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: science, cats, mice, genetic modification, fear