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• Scanner Highs and Lows: We Survived Another Valentine's Day and So Did You

  Valentine's Day has come and gone and we're all still here (except maybe the people who got heart-shaped suckers with scraps of metal in them). We may have gained a few pounds and had a few too many red hots while watching LOST alone in bed, but over all, it was an OK week. Even for those of us who aren't getting any (and that includes you now, New York Post readers!). Read More... Posted Feb 15 2008, 05:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 12 comment(s) Filed under: video, britney spears, amy winehouse, nipples, highs and lows, valentine's day, cunt, grammys, readings, events, amsterdam, new york post, sex boycott, jane fonda

• Sloppy Seconds: Hannah Montana is Super Excited for Jamie Lynn Spears, Gary Coleman's Secret Wedding and Beyonce vs. Aretha

  Hannah Montana, or Miley Cyrus, or Miley Ray Cyrus, or whatever the hell her name is, is "proud" of pregnant teenager Jamie Lynn Spears and her ever-expanding womb.  Apparently rents in New York are so high that people are reverting to selling their children into sex slavery.  Gary Coleman has been secretly married for months. She's half his age and twice his size. OK, not really twice his size, but how could we not? She really is about half his age, though. Beyonce referred to Tina Turner as "the queen" at the Grammys. This did not go over well with Aretha Franklin.  Is The New York Times a little too excited about T. Rex sex? The Onion lists the worst band names of 2007. Uh, Sex Rat? Butt Stomach? Really? We think Steve Holt would be an awesome band name, though. Thoughts? Posted Feb 13 2008, 04:29 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: weddings, hannah montana, tina turner, jamie lynn spears, miley cyrus, grammys, marriagee, slavery, gary coleman, sex slaves, beyonce, aretha franklin

• Amy Winehouse at Grammys: Was She Sober?

  Anyone who's ever seen Amy Winehouse live knows that most of the time, her onstage persona can best be described as "that homeless lady on the corner who's waiting for someone to spit on." We saw her do the Isle of Wight Festival on TV -- where she was rumored to have smoked crack in a port-o-john -- and couldn't help but think that if she'd only bothered to actually collapse into the drug-and-drink induced coma that she was struggling to stay out of, it would have been a much better show. And yet, there she was on the Grammys last night, smiling and shimmying and remembering lyrics and waving to the camera, as if to say "'Ere, America, have a look -- I'm awright, really." Read More... Posted Feb 11 2008, 12:01 PM by Bryan Christian with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: drugs, amy winehouse, award shows, grammys

• Sloppy Seconds: No Grammys for Amy Winehouse, Musical Condoms and Tyra Banks' "Accident"

  Amy Winehouse will not perform at the Grammys this year—or even show up—because she's been denied a US visa. Looks like she's going to stay, stay, stay right where she is.  A condom that makes music with every thrust? No thanks.   Did Tyra Banks soil herself at Fashion Week? Don't worry, Tyra. It happens to the best of us. Usually when we're hungover or have the flu, but whatevs.  Don't forget New Yorkers, you have a date with us Tuesday night.  Posted Feb 07 2008, 05:05 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: scanner, music, amy winehouse, poop, Tyra Banks, pee, condoms, grammys, readings, events, accidents

• Amy Winehouse Won't Stay, Stay, Stay

  The savior of pop music temporarily checked out of rehab (insert tiresome joke here) today, with plans to bring her hellraising straight to the United States. Sources tell IMDB that Winehouse is just keeping an appointment she made ages ago with the US Embassy, which denied her visa application last year. The Grammy's are on February 10th in LA-- yeah, in, like five days or something.  Is Amy really gonna be ready for her big comeback by then? Or will she go the way of Britney at the VMA's? It might be better if she won't go, go-- okay, we'll stop.  [Photo: Jennifer Rocholl / Entertainment Weekly]  Posted Feb 05 2008, 01:15 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: amy winehouse, rehab, grammys