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• Obama and McCain Supporters Bring Out the Worst In All of Us

  It seems that Republicans are so desperate to win they'll cheat and Democrats are so scared of that cheating that they are offsetting previously-stolen elections with a few semi-legal or even illegal tactics of their own... Here's today's insane roundup... scary, scary stuff... it's enough to make you think Bob Barr might pull it off after all... Read More... Posted Oct 10 2008, 02:08 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: new york, politics, osama bin laden, fox news, Barack Obama, thievery, john McCain, elections, voting, ohio, fraud, election 2008, bob barr, campaign

• Lindsay Lohan Takes Time Out of Her Busy Day to Remind Us It's 9/11

  We'd almost forgotten that today is the seven-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center... otherwise known as the cringe-worthy phrase "nine-eleven." Actually, we tried to forget, not that we can get too far away from it. And it's not so much that we want to forget what happened, as that we want to avoid interacting with people who like to take pictures of "Ground Zero" and wear "We'll Never Forget" t-shirts. Unfortunately, we have Us Weekly and Lindsay Lohan (and Sam Ronson, too!) to remind us.    Read More... Posted Sep 11 2008, 02:07 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: lesbian, lindsay lohan, osama bin laden, New York City, Us Weekly, 9/11, terrorism, lindsay and sam kiss, sam ronson, lindsay and sam, lindsay lohan and samantha ronson matching tattoos, spetember 11

• Sloppy Seconds: The #1 Gay Icon

  The New York Post just learned of alleged naked people in New York City. Congratulations on your eagle-eyed reporting, Mencken.  According to Australian news, there are reports of Chinese tourists possibly shooting donkeys for sport and because Chinese traditional healers are known to use donkey skins to extract Ejiao. This extract can be used to make Nu Bao, a traditional Chinese medicine which is meant to improve vitality, increase a woman's libido and help with period pain. Who tops a poll of the #1 Gay Icon Over 50? Read More... Posted Jul 21 2008, 05:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gay, obama, osama bin laden, amy winehouse, FARK, China, missouri, australia, bruce willis, naked people, blake fielder civil, richard gere, pierce brosnan, st. louis

• Sloppy Seconds: Is Jessica Biel Trying to Steal Our Job?

  Chris Kattan (who we always thought was gay, but apparently that was just Mango?), married a model named Sunshine Tutt. [Yahoo!]  What's worse? The fact that Matt Lauer almost accidentally said "Obama bin Laden" or the fact that we got an email about it? [Red Lasso] Is either worse than Fox News showing footage of a dead model's body? [Huffington Post] Read More... Posted Jun 30 2008, 06:13 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: jessica biel, osama bin laden, sloppy seconds, weddings, fox news, bloggers, Barack Obama, gays, matt lauer, pete wentz, ashlee simpson wentz, sunshine tutt, modelels, chris kattan, the brat pack, molly ringwald

• Bush: Me Like Book, Me Write Book

  See, no one is going to give this incompetent ass, a born follower, a high-powered position in the private sector when he's finally, finally out of office. Okay, maybe Halliburton will hook him up. In any case, he hemmorhages money like I'm hemmorhaging brain cells after a night of birthday drinking. George Bush knows he'll have to make a quick killing when he leaves the White House, or else he's going to end up a dopey old pauper like Harry Truman, who was so poor Congress made a law saying ex-Presidents were not allowed to be poor again. Read More... Posted Jun 17 2008, 11:50 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: osama bin laden, books, sports, george w bush, florida, President Bush, 9/11, book deals, presidents

• Scarf is to Terrorist as Leather Jacket is to Gay?

  Scanner Emily and Scanner Brian did a great job breaking the Dunkin' Donuts story. But there's a new twist nobody is paying attention to. Read More... Posted May 30 2008, 10:22 AM by Katie Halper with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: osama bin laden, 9/11, dunkin donuts, gay pride, rachael ray, michelle malkin, leathermen, Yasser Arafat, Keffiyeh, leather jacket, rachel ray terrorist, homosexual agenda, palestinian jihad, Glen Hughes, leather men, jihad, muslim terrorists, the village people, queen, gay leather, internment, pride parades, Laurence of Arabia

• MSNBC: Obama = Osama

  Barack Obama, known to Wonkettes as Barry Hussein (get it-- his middle name is the same as Saddam's last name), is up against the ignorance that brought us George Bush, chewing tobacc'a, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. In short, he is facing the American electorate in states long ignored by the thinkers and philosophers, and MSNBC is making sure to pander to them, jumping into the pig troughs and throwing the shit at each other to fill up every news hour. The geniuses who brought you the Pimped Out Chelsea Clinton and other insults directed at her parents, particularly by head jackass-of-all-trades Chris Matthews, have now done themselves one better. On Monday night's Hardball, Matthews was speaking of Senator Obama when a graphic of the other Muslim terrorist appeared (no, not Dennis Kucinich), Osama Bin Laden, that Crazy Liberal from the East... Read More... Posted Feb 20 2008, 09:30 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, osama bin laden, msnbc, Barack Obama, romney, Chelsea clinton, NBC, racism, discrimination, chris matthews, mccainn, saddam hussein, South Carolina

• The Truth Behind Britney's Breakdown?

  Blogger Kung Fu Monkey may be onto something. Could Britney's very public breakdown be a conspiracy to cover up the most important military mission of all time?   Read More... Posted Jan 15 2008, 11:48 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: britney spears, osama bin laden, conspiracy, military, bush

• Osama Bin Lantern Proves Inherent Goodness in Man, Pumpkin-Carving

  Someone is using that fancy liberal arts education for the important things in life. The Osama Bin Lantern. Or wait, is that Scanner Bryan? (Thanks to Jo.) Posted Oct 26 2007, 02:17 PM by sarahhepola with | with no comments Filed under: scanner bryan, osama bin laden