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• Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

  A man in Martin County, Florida told the police he was roughed up and robbed of $100 in cash by a gang of shirtless, braless women. The man insisted that he had been awake the entire time and was not making this up... Read More... Posted Sep 30 2008, 11:34 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: cops, bra, blonde, thievery, keira knightley, florida, robbery, naked, topless, lap dances, interview, gang

• RNC Delegate, Robbed By Hooker, Speaks Out In Favor Of More War

  Have you guys heard about this smarmy, sniveling Republican toolbox who got robbed of "$120,000 worth" of crappy personal effects during the Republican National Convention? Yeah, he deserved it... Read More... Posted Sep 16 2008, 04:29 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: hookers, republicans, israel, neocons, minnesota, robbery, taxes, rich people, rnc, prostitute, bomb, iraq war, iran war, prada, watches

• Whatever... He's My Kind Of Criminal

  Meet 21-year-old Antonio Vasquez. He was arrested in Fresno over the weekend after he broke into a home, robbed its inhabitants of $900 and... a) humped their dog. b) beat a man with an 8-pound sausage. c) thew spices in a man's face. Read More... Posted Sep 09 2008, 04:32 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: robbery, stupid criminals, humping, sausage, dry humping, dog humping, spices

• Armed Robber In Wheelchair Going To Have A Blast Tonight

  An armed man in a wheelchair robbed his local convenience store the other night. (We know it's his local store because, as witnesses noted, he's in there "stealing" and bothering employees on a near-daily basis.) But it's not the fact that he is in a wheelchair that makes this story so memorable... Read More... Posted Sep 05 2008, 01:38 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: wtf, fox news, texas, Dallas, condoms, funny, robbery, energy drink, robber, disablities, wheelchair

• Teenage Girls Flash, Fondle and Then Rob the Crap Out of British Men

  Oh! This poor clueless man. 40-year-old Robert Stones claims some young girls came up, flashed him and then, as all the blood rushed from his brain down below his belt, he got the shit robbed out of him. We can see it now, but as you'd expect, he is calling it a conspiracy (and yeah, yeah, we'll give you the full flash after the jump)... Read More... Posted Aug 26 2008, 01:22 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: thievery, nsfw, britain, robbery, teenage girls, flashing, topless photos

• Today In WTF: 22-Year-Old Guy Robs A House... His Mom's House

  Sometimes news stories make you beg for more. Sometimes they make you beg to figure out why the reporter didn't ask some majorly important, obvious questions.  In this case, our first one would be: how the hell does a kid rob his own house? Why didn't he just wait for everyone to definitely leave the house, open the front door so it looks like somebody came in, then takes everything out the back, load up a car, and drive it to the pawnshop? But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Here's the story, in order... Read More... Posted Aug 21 2008, 03:31 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: police, dogs in the news, guns, thievery, families, robbery, animal, parenting, teenage boys

• Sloppy Seconds: What Happened To Harvey Dent?

  No wonder it was so easy to change votes: we had no idea Ohio allowed random people to babysit voting machines at their own homes prior to the election. Anyone who thinks Ohio voted fair and square can at least admit that was a pretty stupid idea, right? Speaking of Ohio and politics, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones was pronounced dead, then that was retracted, following a brain aneurysm. Tubbs-Jones, a black Congresswoman and hardcore Hillary supporter, is currently in critical condition. Britney's condition has improved, so much so that people actually want to read about her latest diet... Read More... Posted Aug 20 2008, 05:18 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: movies, politics, britney spears, marriage, death, paul mccartney, hospital, robbery, ohio, diets, child abuse, animal, gas money, spanking, dark knight

• How Young Is Too Young?

  No, not in that way... An 11-year boy was arrested for armed robbery... at a Florida Walgreen's... Apparently, our boy took after our favorite Charlie Scene movie* and tried to rob a convenient store last night. Read More... Posted Aug 11 2008, 03:21 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: police, thievery, florida, children, robbery, child abuse, today in wtf

• Sloppy Seconds: Kelly Rowland's Booty Implants?

  Break out the Big Suit: "Psycho Killer" is among the dozens of tracks on Rock Band 2. Also on there: a new Guns 'N Roses song, Sonic Youth, and more 70s craptastic rock.  A businessman in Florida is being chastised for putting up a billboard with the words "Don't Vote For A Democrat" accompanied by an image of the Twin Towers falling. The man, whose website has a $5 CD with a track entitled "The Republican Song," is only doing what the GOP did in 2004 by hosting their convention in New York City. Oh, right, that was pretty disgraceful, too...  Kristin Bell signed up for the third season of "Heroes." She said she's thrilled to be "electrocuting people again!" Read More... Posted Jul 15 2008, 05:50 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: movies, music, pizza, republicans, Heroes, FARK, florida, Juno, rock and roll romance, ellen page, robbery, diablo cody, jenny lewis, video game, idiots, Korea, rock band, juno effect, guns 'n roses, kristin bell, conor oberst, kelly rowland

• Today in the Apocalypse: Man Injured in Mooning Prank Gone Wrong

  Continuing signs of the coming apocalypse today in a variety of bizarre arrests and other News of The Weird exclusives. The Tampa, FL area continues to be a source of great amusement for Scanner bloggers-- today's story features a man brought in on felony charges for building a treehouse on a chemical company's forested property so he could feed his addiction to horse racing.  Raymond Rogers built hisself a fifteen-foot-high tree house in what he probably thought was some abandoned forest so he could use binoculars to eyeball the track. Rogers told police he had been banned from entering the grandstand itself after "causing problems with the customers." Hmmm...   Other signs of the coming apocalypse include: Gawker reported on the above photo, which they claim is a real candid of a drunk driver showing up late to watch a Mexican bike race... More after the jump...   Read More... Posted Jun 03 2008, 03:13 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gawker, horses, john McCain, drunk driving, accidents, New Orleans, robbery, mexico, Mexican, bicycles, mooning the camera, today in the apocalypse, muggers

• The Craziest Fans In Sports?

  The Terror Alert Level has been elevated again after the President warned of possible sectarian violence between Yankees fans and Red Sox fans. This follows the arrest of Ivonne Hernandez of New Hampshire on charges of second-degree murder and drunk driving, stemming from an incident on Friday night at a Nashau sports bar... Read More... Posted May 06 2008, 01:39 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: sports, fire, robbery, red sox, yankees, fans, crazy fans

• Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Gets By With a Little Help from Reality TV

  Is Paris Hilton engaged to Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden (who is also the brother of her ex-bf Nicole's husband Joel)? Anyone want to take bets on how long it will last? Maybe Paris knows it won't last. She's looking for new BFF in her new reality show.  In the ongoing saga of celebrities fake fucking eachother and making music videos about it, Elizabeth Banks is fucking Seth Rogen. And we can't get the video to load. Can you?  Are you sitting down? Do you have a paper bag near by? OK, well, we hate to be the ones to tell you, but those profiles of women on adult networking sites—they're fake. Porn star twin brothers were arrested in Philadelphia last week on burlary charges.    Posted Feb 26 2008, 05:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: paris hilton, sloppy seconds, seth rogen, reality tv, twins, porn stars, robbery, profiles, philadelphia, benji madden, arrest, joel madden, elizabeth banks, nicole ritchie

• Seattle Sex Shop Robbed

  Of all the places to rob, a sex shop isn't the first that comes to mind. Sure, vibrators are a little over priced, but if we were going to pull off a robbery (which we're not), we'd probably choose a different kind-of business. Anyway, someone apparently really wanted sex toys and ripped off a Babeland in Seattle, but the joke is on the thieves. Read More... Posted Feb 11 2008, 10:14 AM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: vibrators, toys, babeland, sex shop, seattle, robbery, stupid criminals, stupid thieves