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• 90-Year-Old Woman Served Lunch By Half-Naked Man (And It's Her Make-A-Wish Wish, Too)

  Normally, the St. Austel nursing home gets "final" requests for things like a golf game or a visit from the grandkids-- you know, peaceful day trips ending with a beer. They usually don't get a request from their very elderly patients for male staff members to serve fish and chips without their clothes on... Read More... Posted Aug 11 2008, 02:44 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: stripper, nsfw, england, old people, BBC, seniors, nursing home, naked men

• Sloppy Seconds: The Next Ashley Alexandra Dupre Scandal Begins

  A nine-year-old girl successfully sued her parents to break away from her birth name. You will be astounded to hear what it was... although at least it wasn't Benson or Hedges (a pair of twins) or, better yet, Number 16 Bus Shelter, all of which are real. The most famous penis in the world is now 17.  50 Cent is suing Taco Bell. That's all you need to know. Read More... Posted Jul 24 2008, 05:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: Barack Obama, john McCain, penises, sex scandal, ashley alexandra dupree, extra-marital affair, lawsuit, pregnacy, baby, seniors, older men, daily candy

• Olive Riley, World's Oldest Blogger, Dies At Age 108

  This ridiculously awesome woman is Olive Riley, the world's oldest blogger. The less-awesome part of all this is that she passed away in an Australian nursing home on Saturday, though, per her blog, not before singing "a happy little song..." Read More... Posted Jul 14 2008, 12:14 PM by Verena von Pfetten with | with no comments Filed under: beer, dead people, death, bloggers, youtube, old and crazy, australia, cnn.com, seniors, old ladies

• 75-Year-Old Granny Shows Teenage Strippers What A Real Act Looks Like

  You don't know how badly we want to attend this year's Fringe Festival in Edinburgh, Scotland. And that was before we found out about the star attraction, 75-year-old stripper Lynn Ruth Miller of San Francisco, a former journalist who only recently took up burlesque...  Full photos of her after the jump... Read More... Posted Jul 11 2008, 01:40 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: stripper, old and crazy, old people, united kingdom, seniors, old ladies, scotland

• Sloppy Seconds: American Apparel's Latest Porn Star Pick

  Want an explanation of the finale of the Sopranos? Too bad, David Chase isn't going to make a movie, sources say.  The overhyped/underwhelming Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook divorce trial has ended in a settlement. Now, can Hollywood please send us a real scandal for a change?  Best or worst excuse ever? Check out France's First Lady, Carla Bruni, on why her belly appears to be growing... Read More... Posted Jul 10 2008, 04:46 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: porn star, sloppy seconds, Hayden Panettiere, Heroes, american apparel, julia allison, carla bruni, NBC, Karl Rove, old people, bestiality, seniors, the sopranos, christie brinkley

• When Are You Too Old And Senile To Have Sex?

  Scanner Nicole told you about the case of the two assisted living residents, the 95-year-old man and the 82-year-old woman, who were found engaging in oral sex... by the man's son.  Now, we ask you: are old people who are "losing it" well enough to give consent... to have sex? Read More... Posted Jun 13 2008, 10:22 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: elderly, oral sex, sex, hospital, slate, nurses, seniors