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• Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

  The Oregonian, rapidly becoming the preeminent source of nudity news in the Pacific Northwest, alerted us to a new Nike campaign that involves butt-naked runners. Butt naked, of course, except for their Nike Free running shoes, which are, of course, very far from "free..." Read More... Posted Apr 29 2009, 12:02 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: shoes, advertisements, ads, athletes, oregon, sfw, naked men, nike, olympians, naked athletes, naked man, naked men in photos

• Pin-Ups for Sneakerheads

  VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: Every straight male sneakerhead's fantasy has just come true. Click below for more photos from Playboy's "Hot Chicks, Cool Kicks" feature: Read more... Posted Apr 02 2009, 04:27 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: nerve, shoes, playboy, pictures, women, sexy, nerve.com, topless, stuff, nerve blogs, the modern materialist, blog feed, nerve.com blogs, nikes, sneakers, fishnets, kicks, adidas, tennis shoes

• TSA Shows Some T&A

  Hasn't the Transportation Security Administration embarrassed us enough by smelling our stinky shoes, emptying all the expired condoms out of our pockets, and pretending to throw away our open containers of beer (which, no doubt, they keep in a separate "recycling bin")? Apparently not. You're gonna love how much tits, ass, peen, and whatnot the baggage screeners are going to get a glimpse of if these new X-ray machines are put to use... Read More... Posted Mar 31 2009, 05:08 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: boobs, beer, shoes, airplane, penis, airports, tits and ass, security, nsfw, penises, boobies, tsa, utah, peen, sfw, seethrough, recycling, salt lake city, airport, stinky

• While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Is A Big, Whiny Phony

  A teacher kissed his sixteen-year-old student three times, his wife found out, and he resigned his position. Then, whoops, it turned out he hadn't done anything illegal. That investment adviser who tried to fake his own death via plane crash was caught in Florida. Guess which television personality said this to Kate Winslet: "I love the fact that you have real breasts?" Conan? Bill O'Reilly? Sean Hannity? Read More... Posted Jan 14 2009, 09:08 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gawker, oprah winfrey, shoes, stds, facebook, teachers, youtube, Liars, florida, cnn, boob envy, kate winslet, fake, drew peterson, sean hannity, arrested, teacher sex, gossip girl, natural beauty, sarah palin, taylor momsen, bill oreilly, teachers gone wild, real breasts

• Scanner Highs and Lows: An Orgy of Holiday Weirdness

  Scanner Santa has a slew of gift ideas for you: sex toys, DVDs, a pair of shoes and... an artificial virginity hymen? Plus, there's a motherlode of delectable posts you missed out on this week... Read More... Posted Dec 19 2008, 05:51 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: video, cops, shoes, dogs in the news, santacon, fleshbot, scanner emily, commercials, paula abdul, holiday, leonardo dicaprio, joe biden, scanner verena, mike tyson, scanner colleen, shoe thrower george bush, scanner matt, office party, christmas book recommendations, chrismas, hookerrs, publishing

• Caption This: Rod Stewart Thinks He Has Something to Say To You

  [Image] Posted Nov 13 2008, 01:52 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: high heels, shoes, london, women, caption this, stilettos, legs, macggie may, wake up maggie I think i've got something to say to you, rod stewart, fuck-me shoes, fuck me shoes, fuck-me heels, fuck me heels, penny lancaster, limo

• Presenting High Heeled Shoes... For Babies

  We're seriously not making this up. And we have pictures of this weirdness to prove it... Read More... Posted Sep 11 2008, 08:50 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: fashion, high heels, shoes, babies, website of the day, hilarious, heels

• Caption This: Sarah Palin's Stilettos

  Our wordless caption after the jump. Read More... Posted Sep 04 2008, 12:18 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, shoes, Bill Clinton, stilettos, sarah palin, kitten heels

• Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

  Persephone Lewin, who is somewhere in the neighborhood of 45, is a grandmother, solver of murders, burlesque dancer, author, comedian, yachtswoman, and YouTube star. We fear she'll ask us what we do with our time... Read More... Posted Aug 12 2008, 02:38 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: stripper, fashion, shoes, CSI, youtube, burlesque, shopping, murder, trials, stripping, grandma

• The Only Thing More Ridiculous Than Miley Cyrus Writing a Memior

  What the fuck is wrong with Disney these days? Seriously? Or maybe we should ask what is wrong with Crocs, the shoe company, because they're about to make shoes based on Hannah Montana. Read More... Posted Apr 24 2008, 04:12 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: shoes, hannah montana, High School Musical, Disney, miley cyrus, memoirs, crocs

• Ladies, Scanner Emily Will Judge You Harshly, Not Quietly, For Wearing These Shoes

  Ladies, we need to talk. I understand that you want to stand out, and be different, but you can do so without risking a broken neck—and you can certainly do so in sensible, yet sexy, shoes. Read More... Posted Mar 10 2008, 02:24 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: high heels, shoes, ridiculousness, anna wintour, vogue, sensible shoes, scanner emily is judging you

• Can High Heels Improve Your Sex Life? One Doctor Thinks So

  Dudes, you should know that high heels are not the most comfortable shoes in the world. In fact, they may be the most uncomfortable. After a few hours of walking in heels, there's nothing we want more than to take them off. But we wear them because we know we look good in them, and we also know that you probably fantasize about doing a woman wearing nothing but her heels. Now we have another reason to slip into our sexy shoes, and keep them on. Read More... Posted Feb 04 2008, 03:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: high heels, shoes, sex, pelvic wall, italians, caitlin, muscles, doctors, sexy shoes

• Happy Halloween! Buy Us Shoes!

  Oh this Halloween shit is getting serious. We are officially in the spirit and there's no turning back. Why? Freddy Kreuger shoes. Forget fuck-me shoes; these are fuck-you shoes! They represent Kreuger's striped shirt and brown hat and, oh Jesus, they are special. Imagine how terrible we'd be, lurking around in these sneakers. Already running scared? No. Well then, please note that there's gore on the insole. Terrified now? Yes, that's what we thought. We are going to claw the shit out of anyone who gets in our way.  Posted Oct 30 2007, 12:53 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with no comments Filed under: bizarre crap, halloween, shoes, freddy kreuger