Oh, Charmin Ultra Strong toilet paper with Diamond Weave texture, why do you have to feel so good?
You're strong and sensitive, yet not mealy in the least; when I'm done
with you, you leave no trace. I can forget about you until I need you
again.
But, Charmin Ultra Strong, you come with a price. And
I'm not just talking about the $4.99 price tag you were sporting last
time I picked you up at the bodega.
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