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• Sloppy Seconds: Wanda Sykes Has Twins

  Nicole Ritchie and Joel Madden are having a boy. [FadedYouth] For the third time in a row a woman is The Biggest Loser. [People] Read More... Posted May 13 2009, 06:22 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: video, sloppy seconds, babies, oral sex, lesbians, twins, porn stars, the office, beauty pageants, pageants, ricky gervais, wanda sykes, funny videos, wednesday, shanna moakler, carrie prejean, miss california, opposite marriage, may 13, puma swede, licenses, bambi, helicopter, head, same-sex marriages

• Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

  A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr] Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!] When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire] Read More... Posted May 11 2009, 07:01 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: sloppy seconds, oprah winfrey, dogs, poop, american apparel, t-shirts, babies having babies, scarlett johansson, missouri, twins, poo, aliens, kansas city is in missouri, twitter, Oprah, meth, esquire, megan fox, birth, alien, dog humping, pregnant men, dr. oz, suze orman, monday, poor, missed tees, missed connections, credit cards, humping dog, discover card, pre-paid credit cards, men having babies, may 11, dogs humping legs, miraculous births, dogs humping, funny t-shirts

• While You Were Sleeping: Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Is Inspiring to Young Girls?

  Say what you want about its culture, but Wal-Mart workers in Miami may be the first in the nation to unionize. The top 10 places to kiss. Here's one we haven't heard before: police raided a topless bar in Ohio that featured a fourteen-year-old stripper. Read More... Posted Apr 29 2009, 09:59 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: babies, kissing, lists, senate, top 10 lists, florida, twins, pregnancy, sarah jessica parker, sean hannity, Pennsylvania, democrat, fat people, miami, top 10, arlen spector, wal-mart, sylvester stallone, union, mcdonalds, matthew broderick, dolph lungren

• Sloppy Seconds: Joaquin Phoenix Fights His Audience

  Clive Owen doesn't really enjoy sex with Julia Roberts. Honestly, we don't blame him. Don't listen to that stupid conservative's argument that James Carville is just as bad as Rush Limbaugh. Helen Hunt may be engaged. Remember that show Mad About You? Ah... you youngin's.  Read More... Posted Mar 12 2009, 05:20 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: church, twins, engaged, documentaries, doctors, sex scandal, teacher sex, anne heche, Rolling Stone, joaquin phoenix, casey affleck, joaquin breakdown watch, helen hunt

• Sloppy Seconds: Nicky Hilton Takes the Law Into Her Own Hands

  What would Mickey Rourke have said had he won the Oscar? Probably that Marisa Tomei is awesome because "not that many girls can climb the pole, y'know?" [Vulture] A 30-year-old aspiring male model committed suicide in Brooklyn's Prospect Park last week, after stating his intentions to do so on his Facebook page. [DailyIntel] Ever wonder why boys (in general) don't like pink and girls (in general) do? If the results of a recent study are to be believed, it's because mens' and womens' brains respond differently to "beautiful" objects. Of course, the study was done with paintings and we're just guessing on the pink thing; we don't think pink is that beautiful, really. [Reuters] Read More... Posted Feb 23 2009, 07:26 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: paris hilton, sloppy seconds, mickey rourke, marisa tomei, twins, research, studies, brooklyn, paintings, the oscars, brazil, suicide, colors, sean penn, sex studies, men vs. women, the wrestler, 2009, nicky hilton, ihop, studies in the sexes, prospect park, the academy awards, the pole, the sexes, beautiful things, climbing the pole, 38 sets of twins in brazil, twins being born in the same town, citizen's arrest, february 23, twin town

• Brazilian Synchronized Swimmers Are No Joke!

  Let us introduce you to Bia and Bianca Feres. They are sisters on the Brazilian Olympic synchronized swimming team. They like tans, bikinis, posing for softcore photo shoots and breaking hearts. Also, they are painfully hot. Don't believe us? Be prepared to eat your words and and your tears for breakfast.    Read More... Posted Aug 14 2008, 11:15 AM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: twins, brazil, olympics, beijing, brazilian synchronized swimmers, bianca feres, bia feres, sexy twins

• Historic Non-Event: Angelina Jolie Gives Birth To Twin Humanoids

  More important than "who's the father," the question of the day is actually "did they continue the long-standing tradition of celebrities giving their kids unusual, even bizarre names?" The answer is a vigorously-nodded "yes." Read More... Posted Jul 14 2008, 11:42 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: babies, brad pitt, france, twins, paparazzi, angelina joile, hospital, baby names, pregnacy, birth

• Sloppy Seconds: Identical Twins Marry

  If you've been waiting for Janet Jackson to finally dump "longtime love" Jermaine Dupri... well, keep waiting.  Donald Trump sure knows how to pick him. At least when it comes to models. As for co-hosts on his reality show, we have to question the choice of Heather Mills, for any reason.  Remember the undiscovered Amazon tribe some annoying photographers in a helicopter discovered? Well...   Read More... Posted Jun 23 2008, 05:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: Barack Obama, heather mills, twins, wedding, janet jackson, Donald Trump, boy george

• Busted: Identical Twin Gay Porn Stars

  Apparently, porn doesn't pay very much these days. Philly porn stars and identical twin bro's were busted last week for a string of cat burglaries in which they used an ax and saw to get into a Rite Aide and local beauty parlor. Their other exploits are far more interesting, however... Read More... Posted Feb 28 2008, 08:30 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with no comments Filed under: gay, porn, incest, sex, crime pays half the time, twins, jersey, black actors, philadelphia, siblings

• Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Gets By With a Little Help from Reality TV

  Is Paris Hilton engaged to Good Charlotte guitarist Benji Madden (who is also the brother of her ex-bf Nicole's husband Joel)? Anyone want to take bets on how long it will last? Maybe Paris knows it won't last. She's looking for new BFF in her new reality show.  In the ongoing saga of celebrities fake fucking eachother and making music videos about it, Elizabeth Banks is fucking Seth Rogen. And we can't get the video to load. Can you?  Are you sitting down? Do you have a paper bag near by? OK, well, we hate to be the ones to tell you, but those profiles of women on adult networking sites—they're fake. Porn star twin brothers were arrested in Philadelphia last week on burlary charges.    Posted Feb 26 2008, 05:33 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: paris hilton, sloppy seconds, seth rogen, reality tv, twins, porn stars, robbery, profiles, philadelphia, benji madden, arrest, joel madden, elizabeth banks, nicole ritchie

• Sloppy Seconds: The Good, The Bad and The Skinny

  Would you really be all that surprised if Amy Winehouse wasn't really all that clean? Let us be the last to tell you that JLo popped out twins, and will make $6 million from their first pictures.   Hillary Clinton is a fan of hot peppers, they keep her going. Maybe that's why she's looking so thin lately.   Is Jezebel, by way of Cosmopolitan, trying to kill you? No, they're just fessing up to the stupid shit we've all done to lose weight. Cosmo might still be trying to kill you, though. We hear the Amy Winehouse diet is working pretty well. Posted Feb 22 2008, 04:23 PM by Emily Farris with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: hillary clinton, sloppy seconds, drugs, amy winehouse, pictures, jezebel, twins, jennifer lopez, food, diets, crash diets, cosmopolitan, jlo, hot peppers

• Call Waiting With Bobby Tisdale: Angelina Jolie and Her Womb

  Great News! Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. This time with twins! I was lucky to grab Angie for a few seconds as she walked to her car after her visit with "the doctor." Read More... Posted Jan 25 2008, 03:29 PM by Bobby Tisdale with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: pregnant, brad pitt, twins, angelina joile

• Scanner Highs and Lows: His You Know What is Too Small

  It was a busy week here at Scanner. We got a new URL, we thought a lot about boobs (big ones! Jessica Alba's!), we found some new furniture, and unfortunately, a few people died. Anyway, we're spent. But in case you missed any of it, here's a recap of Scanner's highs and lows for the week of January 14. Read More... Posted Jan 18 2008, 04:47 PM by Emily Farris with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: britney spears, hillary clinton, tom cruise, christians, twins, amputees, scientology, macbook air, vagina couch, vagina, anna wintour, double amputees, apple, abortion rates, vulva couch, abortion, crazy beds

• Hold the DNA! Is the Twins Who Married Story a New Urban Legend?

  Remember last Friday when Scanner Bryan brought us the story of the twins who were separated at birth and later married? It was Scanner Bryan, an adoptee's, worst fucking nightmare. Did anyone have a hard time buying the story even though it came from the BBC News, a supposedly reputable news source? Yeah, us neither. How easily fooled we are by media corporations. Maybe. Read More... Posted Jan 15 2008, 03:17 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: politics, marriage, incest, catholics, twins, adoption