Scanner

Browse by Tags

• Sloppy Seconds: The Pregnant Man is No Longer Pregnant

  We have to admit, we'd be pretty fucking scared if Hulk Hogan was stalking us, so we feel you Linda. We do. [People] We don't know what you're doing this weekend, but we're going to the vagina spa. [NYT] Rachael Ray's people want you to eat lots and lots and lots and lots of hamburgers this weekend. Or else you're fired. [TMZ Michael Lohan sure does like stage moms. Apparently the mother of his "secret love child" is already shopping around a record deal for the 13-year-old. [dListed] Read More... Posted Jul 03 2008, 04:02 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: lindsay lohan, sloppy seconds, hulk hogan, dina lohan, vagina, the apocalypse, thomas beatie, rachael ray, pregnant man, linda hogan, spas, michael loahn, meteorites, mandy moore

• Hide Your Cigarettes and Tanning Beds: There's Another Spears Girl in the World

  Okay, we don't know if it's a Spears or an Aldridge, but a baby did come out of Jamie Lynn Spears — not out of her vagina, because she apparently delivered via C-section (gotta keep that shit tight, yo), but still. Scanner readers, please give a warm welcome to... Read More... Posted Jun 19 2008, 01:56 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: britney spears, babies, jamie lynn spears, vagina, fame crawler, pregnacy, giving birth, c-section, birth

• Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week That Was All About The Ladies

  Well, it was about all of the ladies but one, and we were pretty okay with that. But seriously, if you like ladies, you'll love this week's Highs and Lows. Read More... Posted Jun 06 2008, 07:03 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: hillary clinton, lily allen, Sex and the City, Barack Obama, highs and lows, swingers, babeland, vagina, 2 girls 1 cup, voting, boobies, Dita Von Teese, john lajoie, rachael ray, break ups, booty call, salon sarah, scanner nicole

• Don't Try This at Home: Penis Cream to Prevent the Transmission of HIV

  Because people are always trying to find a way around using condoms (which we understand, but you just have to do it) and in some cultures just won't wear them for whatever reason, researchers in Melbourne have discovered that rubbing oestrogen on the head of a penis could help prevent the transmission of HIV. Read More... Posted Jun 05 2008, 03:59 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: science, stds, penis, vagina, research, studies, HIV, cream

• What's Worse Than Chicken Pox in Your Vagina?

  You think it couldn't get worse, right? Oh, but it can, because chicken pox are is only temporary. Read More... Posted Jun 04 2008, 09:13 AM by Emily Farris with | with 12 comment(s) Filed under: tattoos, vagina, rachael ray, chicken pox, viruses

• Ever Feel Like You Work in a Box? Well, Be Thankful It's Not Madonna's.

  At least you don't work at the Warner Brothers Music building in Burbank where business is actually conducted inside Madonna's vagina. Don't believe us? Photographic evidence after the jump.    Read More... Posted May 22 2008, 03:21 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: vagina, madonna, madonnas vagina, vagina office, la is weird

• The Vagina Tree

  Brooklyn, where four of your Scanner bloggers live, is full of sexually suggestive trees. First it was the Mighty Bukkake Tree, and now the Vagina Tree, found in Scanner Emily's neighborhood. You can call it the Vulva Tree if you want, but we think Vagina Tree sounds better. (Note the brown leaves. We actually found this tree a long, long time ago but just found our camera cord today. Maybe we're due for a picture of the Vagina Tree in the spring?) Posted May 12 2008, 12:21 PM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: scanner emily, trees, vagina, brooklyn, bukkake, bukkake tree, camera, vagina tree

• Crazy Dog Bites Crazy Woman in Vagina

  For those of you who have felt like a shitty dog owner at one time or another, take a look at this video and feel absolved of guilt--there is no way you could be crappier than this woman. For the rest of you, watch because you love insanity and animal hysteria. Read More... Posted May 01 2008, 02:10 PM by Nicole Pasulka with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: video of the day, vagina, dog bites vagina, dog bites penis

• Today in Porn Art: Rock Formation Artist Weirdo

  And now... Earth Porn?? Heather Firth is an artist, or so she claims. She takes pictures of strange ecological/sexual formations for her website "Earth Erotic." Wait till you see some of these hilariously awful artifacts, in full, after the jump... Read More... Posted Apr 17 2008, 03:30 PM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: gross, vagina, awful link, penises, big boy, art smut, website of the day, art porn

• Sloppy Seconds: Guess Who Has a Brand New Vagina!

  Filmmaker John Waters thinks the gays could do a better job of fixing up voting booths. Glory holes, anyone? [Queerty] Ladies, or gentlemen, if you've ever wanted Obama in your pants, here's your chance. [Political Nanny]  If we could go back and do high school all over again, we'd 1. not lose our virginity to our manager at Just for Feet, "the world's largest athletic shoe store" and 2. wear a dress made out of condoms to prom. [White Trash Mom] Read More... Posted Apr 11 2008, 05:29 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: high school, sloppy seconds, underwear, Barack Obama, prom, condoms, miley cyrus, vagina, John waters, craig ferguson, like a virgin, vaginal rejuvenation, roseanne barr, conan o'brien

• Collagen G-Spot Injection: Like Bumpers for The Bowling Lane?

  We're all for increasing the lady's pleasure. After all, we fall into the "lady" category (though some might debate that). But we have a few issues with the collagen injection meant to blow up the G-spot, making it "easier to find."  Read More... Posted Apr 02 2008, 04:44 PM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: dildos, vagina, g-spot, collagen, injections

• Doctors Remove a Woman's Appendix Through Her Vagina, For Real

  Full story here.  Posted Apr 01 2008, 10:07 AM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: video, crazy, vagina, surgery, knives, groundbreaking, appendix

• Sloppy Seconds: What? You Didn't Know Barack Obama and Brad Pitt Were Cousins?

  Why pay thousands of dollars for a naked picture of French First Lady Carla Bruni when you can see it on The Internets for free? Actress Kate Beckinsale would rather eat vagina than sushi. "At least a vagina would be warm." Chelsea Clinton wants you to know that Monica Lewinsky is none of your business! So stop asking questions about it. Read More... Posted Mar 26 2008, 05:41 PM by Emily Farris with | with no comments Filed under: hillary clinton, angelina jolie, sloppy seconds, Barack Obama, brad pitt, monica lewinsky, vagina, Chelsea clinton, kate beckinsale, bullies, sushi, ancestry

• A Beaver Is A Woman's Best Friend (In Australia)

  Australians were scandalized by a television ad featuring an innocent, adorable, harmless beaver who spends her day doing lady-like things with a (human) female friend. So why were there an "unusually high" number of complains about the commercial? Because the ad is for Kotex's "U" line of tampons, and ends with a voice over that says  "You've only got one. So for the ultimate care down there, make it U." The word beaver is never uttered. But it's the combination of the ad's HVC (High Vaginal Content) and the imagery of the beaver that offends. Of course, Kotex doesn't see it as offensive at all. It's inclusive and even democratic, since the beaver idea was based on a survey on genital nicknaming. Read More... Posted Mar 13 2008, 04:30 PM by Katie Halper with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: vagina, nicknames, tampons, sexual euphemisms, euphemism, euphemisms, kotex, beaver, names for genitals, tampon commercial, tampon ad, genitals

• Caption This: Mexican Pastries

  [Via Fleshbot]  Posted Mar 11 2008, 11:15 AM by Emily Farris with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: caption this, vagina, pastries, vulva for those of you who like to correct me when i call a vulva a vagina

• When The SafeSearch Goes Off, It's On

  Sometimes we're a little behind when it comes to learning things that everyone else in the world already knows, for example, did you know you can watch YouTube clips in full-screen mode? We just learned this. Anyway, you'd think, being bloggers for Nerve, we'd have thought to turn off SafeSearch on Google Images months ago—except we didn't know it was on. Apparently, "safe" is the default setting, which makes complete sense. But holy shit, we took it off and seconds later we were seeing Lindsay Lohan's vagina and Heath Ledger's penis... things that have been around The Internets for quite a while, but we're still perfectly willing to share with you after the jump. Read More... Posted Mar 06 2008, 10:11 AM by Emily Farris with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: google image search, lindsay lohan, google, Heath Ledger, penis, vagina, images

• Vagina Punch Video Game Montage

  Have you ever been punched in the vagina? It hurts. More than you might expect. And while we don't have the same cringing response to this vagina punch video game montage as men might have to watching dudes take a fist down there (and not in a fun way), we feel for these video game characters from Fighter Maker 2 — which should really just be called Vagina Punch (or Labia Punch for those of you who like to be technical). [YouTube via YesButNoButYes]  Posted Feb 21 2008, 11:14 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: video, vagina, you tube, vagina punch, labia, punching

• Scanner Bryan Apparently Knows Nothing About the Female Body

  Fellas, dudes, gentlemen: help me out here. Am I the only one who had never heard or even thought of "c-v distance" before today? Read More... Posted Feb 11 2008, 08:00 AM by Bryan Christian with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: vagina, clitoris, c-v distance

• Link of the Day: Yoni.com

  Something Awful did a story today on the bizarre website yoni.com, which is dedicated to the mythic and new-agey powers of the vag. Read More... Posted Feb 07 2008, 11:30 AM by Brian Fairbanks with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: vagina, awful link

• The Female Condom, V2

  The Food and Drug Administration is set to review the second generation female condom for approval. Not that the first one wasn't a big hit... oh wait. Did anyone ever try a female condom? It's a good idea, in theory, but we're not 100% convinced. But what's it like, really? [Image of the first generation female condom via]  Posted Feb 06 2008, 03:14 PM by Emily Farris with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: female condom, condoms, vagina

• Scanner Highs and Lows: His You Know What is Too Small

  It was a busy week here at Scanner. We got a new URL, we thought a lot about boobs (big ones! Jessica Alba's!), we found some new furniture, and unfortunately, a few people died. Anyway, we're spent. But in case you missed any of it, here's a recap of Scanner's highs and lows for the week of January 14. Read More... Posted Jan 18 2008, 04:47 PM by Emily Farris with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: britney spears, hillary clinton, tom cruise, christians, twins, amputees, scientology, macbook air, vagina couch, vagina, anna wintour, double amputees, apple, abortion rates, vulva couch, abortion, crazy beds

• Pardon Me, But Do I Know You From Somewhere, Absolut Citron's New Ad?

  Read More... Posted Jan 17 2008, 02:12 PM by Emily Farris with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: vodka, advertisements, absolut, vagina