Scanner : Asia Argento

Top 5 Nude Scenes of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:08:00 GMT

Mr. Skin released his Top 10 Sex Scenes of 2008, but to see what that dirty old man is raving about, you have to sign up and give your credit card to a bunch of perverts.

Or you could see them all for free, thanks to the beauty of Google and our embedding, um, tool...

5. Neve Campbell. We took some flack for ragging on (a photo of) Neve Campbell's nipples in a screencap from I Really Hate My Job, but seeing them in action here, they like quite normal to us. That's the problem with screencaps, of course: they're never as titilating as the real thing.

4. Asia Argento. Picking a favorite nude scene from Asia Argento is like picking your favorite $100 bill-- they're all equally fantastic, as well as a wonder to behold. Here's one from some Italian or Spanish movie-- but what do you care?

3. Heather Graham. When we first caught Heather Graham in Swingers, we never suspected that every movie since would feature her getting nailed in the nude. You'd think she'd go the Julia Roberts route and Neve Campbell would end up more of a Denise Richards type. But nope... and not that we're complaining. When was the last time you enjoyed seeing a Julia Roberts sex scene?

2. Mischa Barton. We can't believe we're saying this, but how adorable is a crying, curly-haired Mischa Barton dubbed in Spanish in this scene from Closing the Ring?

1. Sophie Monk. The catchphrase of the year is not "Change" or even "Pancakes." It's "foreplay is for losers." See why, with this clip:

The rest of the top 10, according to Mr. Skin: Anna Farris in the House Bunny; Mena Suvari in Stuck; Amy Smart in Mirrors; Penelope Cruz in Elegy; and Aneglina Jolie in Wanted, which we may post next week if you have those.

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Sloppy Seconds: Eva Longoria's Lingerie Past

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:01:00 GMT

Are you better off now than you were in 1999? We seriously doubt it, although this chart may make you think you're making the same money you were then: nice try, thanks for (not) factoring in cost of living increases, dumbasses.

Charlize Theron at the DNC: No, I won't get married.

Speaking of marriage: Are we upset or could we care less that this movie star got hitched?

Asia Argento has wed in Tuscany, Italy.
The actress married director Michele Civetta on Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the city hall in Arezzo. The 32-year-old daughter of Italian moviemaker Dario Argento was previously engaged to actors Michael Pitt and Vincent Gallo but she never married.

One million new bankruptcies have been filed this week. Just kidding, it was over the last 12 months. Phew!

What does a country gotta indict somebody for in order to get rid of him? Senator Ted Stevens won his primary yesterday.

Today in the Apocalypse: Rat meat is in high demand in Cambodia, thanks to the economy.

Awww, man... the nun beauty pageant has been canceled for the usual, predictable reasons.

You probably heard about Eva Longoria's early forays into lingerie. If that's your kind of thing, you'll definitely want to check out The Superficial's posting of seven-year-old photos, most of which have been virtually unseen, at least on the internet. Here (and above), a taste:

Related:

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Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Say Goodbye to Boobs

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:14:00 GMT

In our lifetimes many boobs will come and go. But every once in a while a pair like no other comes along (and, no, they don't belong to Ashley Alexandra Dupre). And just like that, they're gone.

Highs:

New New York Governor David Paterson was up-front with the public about his past extra-martial affairs. And we totally respect that.

We found out you'd rather have sex with a real girl from New Jersey than a prostitute. But just barely.

We have a plan for that girl from New Jersey.

Spring came! And we celebrated by looking at some skin.

Facebook taught us that Mom was right all along.

We learned that every Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is now online.

We had a little too much fun when Fox News online momentarily lost its shit.

Barack Obama impressed us again. Yes, we're biased.

Lows:

We were disturbed by the Baby Jesus Butt Plug and the Rubber Fisting Mitten among other things.

We said goodbye to Halle Berry's glorious pregnancy breasts.

We also said goodbye to Asia Argento's golden years.

We laughed at someone else's misfortune: droopy ass implants.

We were reminded that it's been five years since the Iraq war began. Even though America just isn't that into Iraq.

Two (count them: one, two) kind-of important people died.

Scanner Nicole made us look at Katie Holmes' gnarly toes.

We had The Plauge.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! (Asia Argento Edition)

Bryan Christian — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:45:00 GMT

Re: all the brazen nudity that we love Asia Argento for: "There's a limit. My rebellious years have come to a halt."

Argh. Why does everything good in this world die?

What can ease this pain in our heart? Well, a picture of Rosario Dawson and Asia pawing each other sure wouldn't hurt...