Scanner : Dallas

Erykah Badu's Stalker

Colleen Kane — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:36:00 GMT

Erykah Badu kept everyone (including Scanner Brian) waiting for her free show at SXSW last week, but she had a good reason. Some obsessive wack job was camped out outside her house.

She twittered it, too, under her handle "fatbellybella": "Police just apprehended a stalker in front of my house. Stay tuned to details."

Here are some of those details...

Driving to Austin now. Just got on road .. Had to file police report .

Poor chic is apparently sick . I feel so awful . Police pepper sprayed her and cuffed her .

White woman mid to late 20's had visited my home 3 or so times . Brought w/ her weird writtings .

I was kind to her first 3 times . I knew something was off . She was wearing a dilla shirt today .

When I came outside she had flowers lined up in front of my house and had spray painted the no parking sign with a peace symbol .

She had several misc. Items spread out in the grass . Blue shutters, a rabbit, a tucan , and a sketch book...

I'm gonna be late for my show ... Messing around with her .

Passing thru Waco now...with dilla played loud .

So .. The lady came to the house 1st time today around 1pm .. After light threats from me and fam she left . Was parked ok the grass in front of my house

So she comes back 30 Min later .. By this time I feel violated for real .. Cause o girl wasn't threatened at all .

Had no choice but to put the ipolice In it . Tried to reason . I felt so bad for her and her dog .

When she saw cops she took off running behind neighbors house
... Obviously she had been to jail b4 cause she wanted no parts of that

By this time there were 6 cop cars , ambulance and a fire truck ..

3 officers chased her on foot whole we all watched .

She finally comes " walking " calmly around corner toward one cop car with that big ass dog

Cop snatched her hand behind her back and she began resisting violently..

Damn I'm late

Hold on my people .

... Anyhow, all I could think of while all this is going on is .. I'm gone be on media take out .. LOL

... Or bossip.com

Scanner Brian adds: "It seemed strange that no one mentioned she would be late. Her group came out without her, late already, kept chanting her name and then abruptly left the stage right at 8pm. The lights went down, so everyone left, angry. As we were at the exit gate, Badu suddenly took the stage, played two songs, and disappeared again. Apparently, they had run out of time and still had to get Explosions in the Sky onstage. Oh well, whatever."

When cops pepper-sprayed, then arrested the fan outside Badu's house, the stalker had arranged various items, like blue shutters, a rabbit, a toucan and a sketch book. Ummm, we would have called the cops, too.

Related:

Roundup: Andy Warhol Is Stalking Me

Conan and Cannolis Brought Out the Dirty Talk in Paula Deen

Sloppy Seconds: The Body Found Outside of Paula Abdul's Home

Porn and Pasties: We Missed Out

Man Steals Underwear from Victoria's Secret, We Share Our Victoria's Secret

Emily Farris — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 15:36:00 GMT

I consider myself a novelty thief (a salt shaker here, a candle from the Heath Ledger bar there) but I have to give a guy some novelty credit for stealing a buttload of underwear from a Victoria's Secret in Dallas. And ever since my own unfortunate incident in a Victoria's Secret fitting room, I can't help but smirk a little at this.

Last year, in the throes of writing the casserole book and eating, like, 8 casseroles a week, I desperately needed to invest in a girdle (yes, women still wear those), so I set off for my nearest Victoria's Secret, thinking they'd be, you know, discreet. When I asked if they had the nude in a larger size, a woman yelled across the room to her colleague: "Do you have this girdle in a large for this lady?"

They didn't.

So, I decided to try on the medium. The tighter it is, the more it sucks... and sucking is what I was going for. After I wiggled my way into it and witnessed the girdle's amazing sucking powers, I thought I'd buy it and I started to take it off. But I couldn't. I was stuck. In a girdle. In a Victoria's Secret. In Brooklyn. After a few minutes of trying to get out if, I asked the sales associate, who had so graciously yelled my size and purchase across the room, to help me get out of it. And what did she do? She laughed at me.

Ten minutes and one pulled shoulder muscle later, I got the fucking girdle off, all by myself.

So, yeah, forgive us if we think it's hilarious that a man stole 160 pairs of underwear, worth about $1,000" from a Victoria's Secret in Texas. According to reports, he snatched the undies from a table and sped off with his accomplice (who held the door) in a green car.

[Local 6: $1,067 Worth Of Underwear Snatched]

Woman Injured By Victoria's Secret Thong

The Last Four People in the World Trying to Keep Victoria's Secret

[Image via victoriassecret.com]

Armed Robber In Wheelchair Going To Have A Blast Tonight

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:38:00 GMT

An armed man in a wheelchair robbed his local convenience store in Dallas the other night. (We know it's his local store because, as witnesses noted, he's in there "stealing" and bothering employees on a near-daily basis.)

But it's not the fact that he is in a wheelchair that makes this story so memorable... because, hey, the disabled can be criminals, too!

"All the elements of this offense are a little out of the ordinary. However, it was a robbery, because he was wielding that bat and actually swung toward the clerk," Dallas Police Department Sr. Cpl. Kevin Janse said. "And he hit the cash register several times."

Out of the ordinary is putting it mildly, Cap'n. What struck us most was what this guy thought it was necessary to incriminate himself for (as, again, everybody in the store knew who he was, so it's not like he could've expected to get away with the robbery):

The robber threatened the clerk before taking off with condoms and energy drinks, police said.

Energy drinks and condoms! All you need for your Friday night o' fun...

Via MyFox.

Related:

Today In WTF: 22-Year-Old Guy Robs A House... His Mom's House

Teenage Girls Flash, Fondle and Then Rob the Crap Out of British Men

Exorcist: Keep It In Your Pants Or Beelzebub's Gonna Getcha

How Young Is Too Young?

Sloppy Seconds: Father-Daughter Love Child

Don't Say Bill Frist Didn't Warn You About AIDS Saliva

Katie Halper — Thu, 15 May 2008 21:25:00 GMT

Looks like Dr. Senator Bill Frist wasn't a crazy homophobe after all, but a rational doctor when he bravely refused to rule out the possibility that sweat and tears transmitted HIV. Because, If sweat, tears and saliva couldn't transmit the virus, why would an HIV positive man have been sentenced to 35 years in jail for spitting?

The answer to that question is "because the man was sentenced in TEXAS." This story would be so funny, if it weren't sad and true: An HIV-positive man convicted of spitting into the eye and mouth of a Dallas police officer has been sentenced to 35 years in prison because the jury found that Willie Campbell, 42, used his saliva as a deadly weapon. Of course, by Texan standards, this is a slap on the wrist. Plus, Campbell only has to serve half his sentence before becoming eligible for parole. So he'll be a spring 59-and-a-half-year-old chick when he gets out of jail.

Not to be Confused with ‘The Peach Pit’

April Peveteaux — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:42:00 GMT

Last week Bryan brought you the story of swinger's club 'The Cherry Pit' being shut down by the new ordinance in town of 'no sex clubs in your neighborhood'. But now owner, Jim Trulock is fighting back and the Texas town of Duncanville is getting its pants sued off by Trulock and his wife. It seems the owners of ‘The Cherry Pit’ are feeling a little ganged up on and not in the fun way, so the couple is challenging the constitutionality of the ordinance and we’ll be here waiting to find out of the state that just recently de-criminalized sodomy has worked through its sexual hang-ups. (For the Scanner record, Bryan thinks, at the very least they should turn down the yacht rock.)

But here's the more important question: Why are they banning sex clubs in suburban Dallas? I mean, everyone’s just going to cross the border into Oklahoma and besides; it’s keeping the driving-while-being-blown crowd off the street.