Scanner : ER

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse is "Back in the Saddle"

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:34:00 GMT

That girl from Twilight will play Joan Jett in a still unnamed film about The Runaways. [AfterEllen]

The saddest thing we've seen all day: 11 extinct animals that have been photographed alive. [EcoWorldly]

The most depressing thing we've seen all day: the unfolding story of the hostage situation in Binghamton, NY. [CNN]

We (read: Scanner Emily) still need your 10 stars. Real bad. Because we need $200. Real bad. Pretty please? [MissedTees]

We (read: Scanner Collen) still need you to vote for our dream photography assignment. Because we also need $50,000. Real bad. Pretty please? [Name Your Dream Assignment]

Now all three of your Scanners are on Twitter, even though only one of us stays true to the Scanner name. [Scanner Emily, Scanner Colleen, Scanner Brian]

Remember yesterday when Madonna threw a party to celebrate an adoption that hadn't yet been approved? Um, yeah. Maybe not the best idea she ever had. [Us]

Apparently there was a fractured penis scene in last night's ER finale. Was it a swipe at Grey's Anatomy? [The Remote Island]

On April 11 Alternative Nation Countdown Takeover, a show on Sirius radio, will premiere new solo material from Rivers Cuomo that features Jason Schwartzman Rainn Wilson. Weird. Cool. [Rolling Stone]

According to a post on her MySpace blog this morning (obviously not written by her) Amy Winehouse is hard at work on her third album. We'll believe it when we hear it. Either way, we thought you'd enjoy seeing this picture again. [MySpace]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

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Marry, F*ck or Kill: Sexy Doctor Edition

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:05:00 GMT

Sixteen million people watched the E.R. series finale last night. We were not among them, but if our Twitter feed is any indication, old-school fans were seriously missing sexy, sexy Dr. Ross, played many seasons ago by George Clooney. And that got us thinking about how glad we are to still have Lost's Matthew Shepherd in our lives. We thought we'd do a little "Who Would You Rather: Dr. Ross vs. Dr. Shepherd?" but then we remembered Dr. McDreamy, played by Patrick Dempsey on Grey's Anatomy. Ah! So many sexy doctors, so little time—the perfect situation for a very important decision: which TV doctor do you marry, which do you fuck and which do you DNR?

While You Were Sleeping: Adopt George Clooney

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:23:00 GMT

Let's just start the rumors here: Katie Holmes is not pregnant.

Singapore was stunned to experience the sight of an entirely-nude couple walking through the city for fifteen minutes. In New York, this wouldn't even get reported on Fox, but in a conservative place like Singapore...

In Sweden, if you're a teacher and don't like what a bunch of young ladies are saying about you on their blog, you can file a complaint against them. Boo hoo.

The great filmmaker Tom DiCillo is doing a documentary on The Doors that appears to have some incredible lost footage of the band.

It's the classic case of teach the kids to shoplift, take them shoplifting, leave the kids at the scene of the shoplifting. We've seen it all before.

We understand that there was discrimination involved, but why would anyone want to work at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone bikini bar anyway?

George Clooney, who will appear on the final episode of ER, would like you to adopt him.

And our headline of the day: "Pub Line bus service could become mobile bar for Fairbanks patrons."

Today In Headlines We Weren't Expecting

Scanner Roundtable: If Gay Marriage Is Legal, What About Polygamy?

This Week In Gayness: Two Major Male Movie Stars Make Out

Why Are Playmobil Playsets So Damned Crazy?

Sloppy Seconds: What is Jennifer Hudson Smiling About?

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:18:00 GMT

We never really thought of China as a big dairy land, but whatever dairy it has is staying there. The US has banned milk and milk-derived products in an effort to keep products tainted with the industrial chemical melamine off our shelves. [Washington Post]

Three female employees of KMBC 9 News in Kansas City—our former and future home—are suing the station over age and sex discrimination after being told they are 'no longer part of the future' and are oppressively criticized, targeted and harassed after they reach their 40s.' [Plog]

Jennifer Aniston "knows" John Mayer. Biblically and, you know, emotionally. [People]

Speaking of Jen, did you catch her on 30 Rock last night? It sure didn't boost the show's ratings. [Us]

Dr. Green, er Anthony Edwards, coming back from the dead wasn't enough deliver top ratings for ER, either. [Radar]

In the wake of the murders of her mother, brother and nephew, Jennifer Hudson decided to go forward with a GAP ad campaign she, er, shot before the tragedy and thanked fans for their support on her MySpace page. [Yahoo!]

Sloppy Seconds: More Fun With Sarah Palin Affair Rumors

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:36:00 GMT

~~Hootie~~ Darius Rucker, front man of Hootie and the Blowfish, has bumped Jessica Simpson from the top of Billboard's country chart. Um, is Hank Williams rolling over in his grave? [Us]

Heather Mills gave hamburgers to poor kids in the Bronx last weekend. Except she didn't exactly tell the kids the burgers were vegan. [Gourmet]

We imagine 13-year-old Christian girls (and their mothers) with no taste in music and boys are about the only ones not happy about Clay Aiken coming out. [People]

Yes, we were right. [Radar]

Will you buy Blair and Chuck's albums? We will not. Though we also said we would not watch "Gossip Girl".. sigh. [MTV]

Just as you should not go to George Clooney with a medical emergency (save something stuck in your vagina), you probably shouldn't go to Michael Douglas in times of financial crisis. But hell, nobody else is doing a good job of fixing it, so maybe the "Wall Street" star can offer some hope? [Yahoo!]

If what The Enquirer says is true (hey, they were right about John Edwards) then Sarah Palin used to fuck a snowmobile dealer named Brad Hanson, yet another business parter of poor Todd Palin. [Wonkette]

CBS: Woman's Orgasm Caused Her Stroke

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 18:39:00 GMT

A few weeks back, we brought you the story of the Englishwoman who was fined by her town council after having months of crushing sex with her boyfriend that kept the neighbors up. Now we have a much less funny version for you...

According to CBS News, a woman in Illinois suffered a stroke at the age of 35 after having an orgasm...

"This young woman ... while having intercourse had numbness on the left side of her face, slurred speech, and weakness in her left arm," Biller tells WebMD. "When she was transferred to our care six hours after onset, she was completely unable to move her left arm, her face was paralyzed, her speech was garbled, and she was in a state of panic."

Forgive us for saying something so obvious, but having a stroke sucks. We've watched it happen to someone we knew in a nursing home and have had nightmares about it ever since. What's even worse about this story is that in order to save her life, doctors were forced to run

a catheter from an artery in the woman's groin up into her brain to find the blood clot by angiography.

There's a happy ending to all this, thank your respective higher power (or whatnot.) The procedure reversed most of the effects of the stroke, even though it had been much longer than the three hours generally required from clot-killing drug tPA to work, and today

she is well, with only an almost imperceptible fold in the skin under her nose and slight loss of dexterity in her left hand.

Phew. And what, CBS, can we learn from this episode:

She shared one thing in common with six other young people who suffered sex-related strokes: a small opening in the wall between the two upper chambers of her heart.

One in four adults has this minor heart defect, called a patent foramen ovale or PFO. A PFO allows some blood to flow from the right side of the heart to the left side. This blood bypasses the lung and goes straight to the brain.

Most people with a PFO have no symptoms and don't know they have it.

Also, for a person to have a stroke during orgam, they must have a blod clot. Luckily for all of us, this is a rare occurence, but if you experience these kinds of symptoms, take your ass to the ER, insured or un-.

Via CBS News.

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NBC's ER in Critical Care

Katie Halper — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:45:00 GMT

ER, which has been on the air since 1994, has signed its own DNR* release.

It's hard for me to admit it, but the news that the 14-year-old ER has less than a year to live, has left me in shock. At least I have time to mourn the death of this great show, which will pull the plug next February. And at least ER will always live on in our memories... and on TNT.

* That means Do Not Resuscitate, for the layman/ non ER watcher