Scanner : GQ

Mad Men's January Jones Is The Hottest Housewife On TV

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:07:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Wipe your mouths and close your office doors. There are more pictures inside...

Ms. Jones is on the cover of GQ UK Magazine for the month of May. She's seen here in a black corset and what Carrie Bradshaw would call the "naked dress."

Read more...

Scanner Highs and Lows: Because We Have Nothing Better To Do on a Friday Night

Emily Farris — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 03:42:00 GMT

Yet again, we find ourselves grateful that the worst thing our mom ever did to us was show her boobs at our book party. Twice.

Highs:

We watched some sexy movies.

And discovered the greatest. move. ever.

We know what we're most thankful for this year. Mmmhmm.

We crushed a little on Borat's brother.

Could Barack and Michelle Obama be any fucking cuter? Ugh, probably.

OMG! Ashley Alexandra Dupre finally talked!

So did Pete Wentz. About those penis pictures.

We absolutely agreed with GQ's choice of Man of the Year.

Lows:

Yet again, we found ourselves grateful that our mom only showed her boobs (albeit twice) at our book party.

We got a glimpse of what life will be like in our new city.

If it wasn't Kansas City, it was going to be in Oregon.

We have officially reached the point where we'd rather eat (or fuck) a taco than fuck an actual man.

Apparently, girls really do have cooties.

Miley Cyrus. Just her. In general.

We continue to wonder why our cushion hasn't gotten us more pushin'.

We contested People's choice of sexiest man alive.

Who is GQ's Man of the Year? (File Under: Duh)

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:16:00 GMT

Was there really any question to who would lead GQ's Man of the Year issue?

Really?

Yeah, we didn't think so.

[Faded Youth: Barack Obama Named GQ Man of the Year]

For Those Considering a Career in Door-to-Door Magazine Sales...

Babble Our Favorite to Rock the National Magazine Awards...

Phone Sex Article in "Co-Ed Magazine" Makes Us Weep For the Children

GQ: "James Franco Is A Douche"

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:13:00 GMT

This story was written by Sean Flanagan, who is guest blogging while Verena is at the Democratic National Convention...

Everyone loves James Franco, sorta.

Pineapple Express was hilarious. Franco was exciting and endearing-- and in a good movie. But, it turns out, if you haven't seen any of his films since 2001's James Dean, you probably wouldn't know that everyone in Hollywood thinks he's a douche.

GQ, as you will see, does nothing to shatter that image; in fact, they get right down to it in the opening lines:

He's sorry about the awful movies, sorry if he was a jerk on-set, sorry for trying to be the next James Dean. But now, with the chronically charming Pineapple Express and an Oscar-baiting drama coming this fall, Franco is making sure his future looks nothing like his past, even if it involves making out with Sean Penn...

After that, it only gets worse:

1) Judd Apatow call Franco ugly and stupid:

“What I remember about meeting James,” says [Judd] Apatow, “Was that he had this really big mouth, and he was very skinny, and very greasy... We had no sense that he was attractive— we just thought he was this, you know, wannabe cool guy, but it wasn’t quite working, a funny mess of a guy, the way he performed the scenes."

2) Franco discusses a gay cocaine threesome and "email vent" about how he was unhappy with the lack of time spent discussing art and poetry during his the days of being trailed for the cover article.

3) "To watch the complete works of James Franco, as I did, is for large stretches of time a dispiriting experience.... He seems more like a witness powerless to prevent the same crime being committed over and over again."

4) This one is too great of a quote to really make anyone look bad, though:

One time when he was deep into reading a particular text, Sean Penn told him, “You’re reading that book like you’re waiting for it to lie to you.”

Of course, since Scanner loves James Franco, we have to point out that we do not support GQ's position. There's something entirely lovable about a guy who has this to offer us about his first time kissing a man-- in this case, Sean Penn:

The ﬁrst kiss of the movie was out on Haight Street, with, like, 200 people watching, outside. It was a crane shot—I’m sure in the end it will be a really cool shot, but it starts close and then it takes maybe a minute. That’s a long time on film with everybody watching and, like, a fake mustache getting in your mouth. It was long enough that you couldn’t help thinking, ‘Oh, my God, I’m kissing Spicoli.’ ”

While You Were Sleeping: James Franco and Sean Penn Go At It

Video of the Day: "Pineapple Express" Trailer

"Acting With James Franco" Comes Pretty Close to Making Us Cry

While You Were Sleeping: The Heath Ledger Investigation

Sloppy Seconds: More Naughty Miley Cyrus Photos Leaked

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn's Next Movie

The MTV Movie Awards: More Entertaining Than We Wanted Them To Be

Scarlett Johansson And Her Lips Grace the Italian GQ

Emily Farris — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:33:00 GMT

Scarlett Johansson did an incredibly hot photo shoot for last month's Italian GQ and no one bothered to tell us? We have to say, we're a little surprised neither of the Bry/ians found it. Lucky for them, and for you, Scanner Emily is on it.

As Popoholic points out, the photographs seem mostly focused on her lips, though what ScarJo spread would be complete without some cleavage shots?

We're a little worried about Scanner Brain, who said after we showed him these pictures, "Hm, not really my thing." Because even I, Scanner Emily — who is generally attracted to hairy, overweight men — need a cold shower after looking at these. But I'm sure listening to her Tom Waits cover album would kill the mood, too.

UPDATE: Apparently these pictures are recycled from an old photo shoot. But they're still hot.

"Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?"

Emily Farris — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:23:00 GMT

That's what the police asked Emmanuelle Chriqui (who we'd never heard of but is apparently in that upcoming Adam Sandler movie that we won't pay good money to see, and probably wouldn't even watch for free) while she was doing this GQ photo shoot.

"We were in a little park in Malibu. I'm topless, and this cop car pulls up," Chriqui said of her sizzling shoot for GQ Magazine in its latest issue, out this week. "The police asked the photographer, 'Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?'"

No areolas here.

[NY Daily News: Emmanuelle Chriqui is hot stuff in Hollywood]

Sloppy Seconds: Ben Affleck's "Big Regret" Involves JLo's Big Booty

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:46:00 GMT

A biologist who discovered a new arachnid named the new species of trapdoor spider after his favorite musician. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi. [Yahoo!]

The View's Joy Behar wants to feel the knob, but draws the line at licking the knob. [Jezebel]

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are apparently "really into each other." [Us]

Little Matilda Rose Ledger looks more and more like her daddy everyday. We don't know if this will be a good thing when she's all grown up, but for now she's so freaking cute. [FameCrawler]

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are either engaged or they're not. [Hello!]

Tila Tequila is on the cover of "Blender" probably because her single "Stripper Friends" is a big hit with the kids these days? Oh wait, we've never heard it. [Hollywood Tuna]

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow is "boring," but she looks hot on the cover of GQ, even if it is Photoshopped. [E!]

When talking about his past relationship with Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck said his "one big regret" was that he appeared the video for her single "Jenny From the Block" in which he rubbed suntan lotion on her booty. Funny, we imagine that would be most men's big goal. [GabbyBabble]

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Who Tops GQ's List of Pussy-Whipped Husbands?

Emily Farris — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:37:00 GMT

Jessica Simpson was hospitalized last week to treat a minor kidney infection. Jess, how many times do we have to tell you you have to pee after sex?

Children collecting seashells on a Scottish seashore discovered a severed head in a sealed sack. Say that five times fast.

Since when is Elizabeth Banks a porn star?

Hey, nerds! Today is your one free pass per year to terrorize us cool kids.

Heather Mills will join the panel of celebrity judges for the upcoming Miss USA Pageant, continuing to promote the notion that if you're blond and thin, you can have whatever you want in this world.

Guy Ritchie, Bill Gates, and Eminem top GQ's list of pussy-whipped husbands. While some may think they're "emasculated, disempowered, henpecked," we like to think that they're supporting their wives. What say you?

Video of the Day: GQ's "Ideal Man"

Bryan Christian — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:00:00 GMT

This commercial's mildly amusing and all -- hey, we love people who take Billy Idol seriously as much as the next sex-and-pop-culture-blog -- but is anyone else annoyed at having to spend 2 minutes with a supposedly ideal man and then learn that a) he's actually sort of annoying and b) he doesn't actually exist?

Hey GQ, any chance I can backorder those 120 seconds on your website or something?