Scanner : Korea

Protect Yourself From the Cold With Condom Ice Cream

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:49:00 GMT

Not ice cream-flavored condoms, which would be bizarre enough. No, condom ice cream.

Let's look at the photo evidence...

Yes, you'll need scissors, a razor blade, and/or the teeth of Jaws to get the damn ice cream out of this Korean treat. We have no further information at this time and in no way request it. Barf-o-rama.

From various sources, including Flickr.

The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries

ABC Calls Drunken Teenage Anal Sex "Love Making..."

Teens Identified In Robbery After Mom Walks By

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 14:02:00 GMT

Here's your dumb criminals of the month: not only were they caught preparing for the robbery, chased out of the targeted store by a woman with a flyswatter, but after being tackled by a random security guard who was on to them before they even put on their "masks," one of them realized his Mom was one of the gawking bystanders.

The weirdness continues below...

1) Herman Sakaria, a local security guard, was heading toward his car when he noticed two sixteen-year-old males covering over their license plate. Sensing something was up, he lurked in the shadows and watched as the youths put plastic bags over their faces (!) and pulled out steak knives.

2) The youths ran into a store and demanded cash. For some reason, Stuff.co.nz's version of the story insists upon describing the store's proprietors as a "a Korean man and woman" (while, at the same time, ignoring the ethnicities of the culprits and their captor, depicted above in a censored photo taken by an onlooker.)

3) The shopkeepers chased the kids out without using a weapon, apparently, although the woman did beat one of the kids with... a flyswatter. Meanwhile, Sakaria was waiting for the robbers and tackled them as they left the premises.

4) Sakaria held the boys down until police arrived (in America, the story would've gone: "he eventually was forced to release the boys after twenty minutes because the police hadn't respond to the 9-1-1 call, assuming someone had dialed it at all.") While one of the boys was moaning and groaning under the guard's knee, he looked up and noticed a woman walking by. "Oh shit," he said, "There's my mum."

5) The boys could received up to 14 years in prison apiece.

Coda) The bizarrely-written story concludes:

"Police say the incident is a reminder for Rodney residents to batten down the hatches during the Christmas and holiday period to divert potential robberies and burglaries."

A reminder based on what? This incident, which closer to theater than crime, is a reminder that someone might burglarize our apartments? Whatever you say, coppers...

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Sloppy Seconds: Kelly Rowland's Booty Implants?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:50:00 GMT

Break out the Big Suit: "Psycho Killer" is among the dozens of tracks on Rock Band 2. Also on there: a new Guns 'N Roses song, Sonic Youth, and more 70s craptastic rock.

A businessman in Florida is being chastised for putting up a billboard with the words "Don't Vote For A Democrat" accompanied by an image of the Twin Towers falling. The man, whose website has a $5 CD with a track entitled "The Republican Song," is only doing what the GOP did in 2004 by hosting their convention in New York City. Oh, right, that was pretty disgraceful, too...

Kristin Bell signed up for the third season of "Heroes." She said she's thrilled to be "electrocuting people again!"

Are Jenny Lewis and Conor Oberst together or something? Well, anyway, they're touring together later this year, following the release of the new Jenny Lewis solo album, which features an incredible all-star lineup.

A teen pregnancy movie played in Korea long before Ellen Page popped one out. The title? "Jeni, Juno."

Headline of the Day: Not News: Pizza place robbed. News: Robbed by your husband while you're working there. Fark: Your parents helped and it was their idea...

Society has grown too superficial, even for us, if anyone's resorting to getting ass implants to stay relevant. (By the way, we're not saying this story is true-- Kelly Rowland getting implants-- but we're worried it might be...)

A Walk in the Sexy Park

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:50:00 GMT

We love parks. And we love sex. So we're super excited about Jeju Land, a sculpture park in Korea dedicated to sexual pleasure, which has 100 works on permanent display — many of which are after the jump. We'd say they're not safe for work, but if you get caught looking, just belittle your boss and accuse him of having no cultural appreciation.

[Next Thing via YBNBY]

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People Magazine Apparently Saw Korean Pop Star Rain On "Colbert" The Same Day They Saw "Speed Racer"...

Bryan Christian — Wed, 14 May 2008 14:05:00 GMT

... and were all like "How many hot Korean-ish dudes can there be with English speaking parts, really?" Well, People, there's at least 5 that we know of: Harold, the guy from Lost, the puppet Kim-Jong Il from Team America, and the two dudes -- not one! -- that you're picturing up top, one of whom is Korean-American actor Karl Yune, who appeared in Speed Racer, and one of whom is Kpop sensation Rain, who we hope is finally finished with the bloody and homoerotic beef that nearly destroyed both him and Stephen Colbert. (Click through for the video blow-by-blow of that epic throwdown.)