Scanner : Prince William

While You Were Sleeping: It's A Lipstick Jungle Out There

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:10:00 GMT

Women in Saudi Arabia are going to other countries to shop for lingerie because of the male store employees. In other news, Saudi Arabia allows lingerie.

Prince William "can marry a Jedi," but not a Catholic.

Fake Dina Lohan and Fake Christopher Walken were outed and removed, respectively, from Twitter.

Richard Simmons never stops entertaining, even in the airport, and even if it means singing... "Single Ladies?"

What do you do if your first bank robbery fails? Go into the next bank. That way, it's easier for the cops to find you.

No one wants to have to sit through the vile, racist Rush Limbaugh show, which is why Media Matters has set up Limbaugh Wire.

John Mayer is wearing, um, a little sailor suit and, um, sniffing a mankini.

And are you sitting down? Lipstick Jungle has been canceled, if you hadn't already heard.

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Facebook Quickly Becoming a Raging Cesspool...

Britain's Sexual Hazing Rituals Apparently News to Some People...

While You Were Sleeping: Carrie Underwood's Dress Was Too Short

While You Were Sleeping: The Rihanna Nightmare Continues

Bearded Man of the Week: Justin Vernon

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:37:00 GMT

We've heard Bon Iver's "Skinny Love" played all over the place for the last six months or so, always thinking we were listening to TV on the Radio. We should know better, considering Kyp Malone of TVOTR used to be our upstairs neighbor. But, apparently living close to coolness does not make one cool.

After discovering that the man singing was Justin Vernon we set out to learn one thing: does he have a beard? You fucking bet he does.

Watch these videos and tell us you're not in love with him, too:

We totally want him to put a baby in us. But just one.

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Dr. Jack Shephard

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

We Finally Found a Beard We Simply Cannot Endorse

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:01:00 GMT

Did you ever think that we'd meet a beard we didn't love? Well, kids. Today we did.

We understand there are spiritual issues behind the length of this beard and by all means if you think God wants you to grow a beard, who are we to argue? But we just can't, er don't want to, imagine getting our feet all tangled up in this thing during sex:

via videosift.com

Bearded Men of the Week: Unshaven Bartenders in New York

I Hate Myself for Loving You: "Men in Trees"

Bearded Man of the Week: Dr. Jack Shephard

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

It's pretty obvious to everyone by this point that the LOST producers and writers have no idea what they're talking about. So we're not surprised that two of the producers last night called Dr. Jack Shephard's beard "gross." While we saw the beard in Season 4, it made a re-appearance in Season 5. And since stupid Ben Linus made Jack shave it off last night, we will honor the great beard that was, after the jump.

Yummy! Damn you, Benjamin Linus!

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Our Bearded Man of Last Week Has Some Issues

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 19:07:00 GMT

So, we're starting to think we should just find a homeless dude to be our boyfriend. Because we're definitely not turned off by this picture of Joaquin Phoenix. In fact—well, never mind...

Anyway, that's not why we're posting it. The poor guy fell at a concert last week and after watching the video (after the jump) we want to just scoop him up and hug him. And maybe, just maybe, throw him in a shower to sober him up. But we're keeping the beard!

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

[via LadyThrills]

Bearded Men of the Week: Unshaven Bartenders in New York

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:57:00 GMT

Last month, a slew of New York City bartenders decided to grow out their beards, just for the hell of it. Well, that and to make us rethink our rule against dating bartenders. And our decision to leave to leave New York.

Glorious hairy pictures after the jump...

[Time Out New York: Bear market indeed: Unshaven bartenders face off]

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Bearded Man of the Week: Joaquin Phoenix

Emily Farris — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:37:00 GMT

We've always like Joaquin Phoenix just fine. We loved him in "Walk the Line" and even, shamefully, in "The Village." But we've never wanted to, you know, shove him into the nearest bathroom stall and rip his clothes of. Well, not until now, anyway. Joaquin grew a beard!

We pulled this image from Dlisted. They didn't like his beard as much over there, just look at what the image was named: http://www.dlisted.com/node/29980/images/joaquinishideous2.jpg

That's fine D, we'll take him at Scanner.

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Bearded Man of the Week: Prince William

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:01:00 GMT

Sorry we're a little (okay, a lot) late on the Bearded Man this week. Believe it or not, we had a hard time coming up with one (send bearded men to scanner@nerve.com or straight to Scanner Emily in Kansas City!) until we saw this little headline: "POLL: What Do You Think of Prince William’s New Beard?"

Hot damn!

We think the beard is a vast improvement on his royal baby face. What do you think?

[People: POLL: What Do You Think of Prince William’s New Beard?]

Related:

Bearded Man of the Week: There Could Only Be One

Bearded Man of the Week: Zach Galifianakis

Bearded Man of the Week: Sam Beam

Bearded Woman of the Week: Erin Dollar

Sloppy Seconds: Who's Not Allowed to Play With Paris?

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:37:00 GMT

What were your favorite and least favorite Nerve essays of 2008? Orly? Then you should go vote for them. [Nerve]

Some of your favorite NPR personalities may soon be gone. Fucking economy. [Gawker]

Why did Perez Hilton have to ruin a perfectly beautiful picture of our future husband Ryan Gosling? [PerezHilton]

Perhaps in a cash crunch like the rest of us, Michael Jackson is selling the gates leading to Neverland Ranch and his infamous glitter glove from the "Billie Jean" video. [Yahoo!]

Speaking of gloves, er, coming off, Tom Cruise is going in for another interview with Matt Lauer. [Us]

Oprah fell off (or onto?) the food wagon, maxing out at 200 pounds. It's just more for us to love, Lady O. [People]

Prince William was invited to Paris Hilton's New Years Eve party, but his "elders at the palace" reportedly do not want him partying with her. [Radar]

[Image]

Crush of the Week: Kate Middleton, Rollerskating Queen

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:45:00 GMT

Kate Middleton, girlfriend of England's Prince William, hosted a rollerskating fundraiser the other night in which she took a spill in her yellow hotpants, legwarmers, and bright pink rollerboots.

The UK press called her outfit "garish." In fact, her outfit is the main reason she's our crush of the week...

(In a way, these pictures remind us of another roller skating accident and fall, one that involved our very own Scanner Emily. She responds:
"Awesome. Though my outfit was much better!")

The event sought to raise 100,000 British p for the cause of Tom's Ward at the Children's Hospital in Oxford, and featured such guests and friends of Middleton's as Holly Branson, who almost stole the spotlight-- and our Crush of the Week title-- in this outfit.

While the Queen and her underlings may (allegedly) grumble about the possibility of Middleton's becoming part of the Royal Family, at least Prince William is sharp enough to realize what he has on his hands...

More pics here.

Prince Harry Officially Best British Royal Ever

Crush of the Week: His Royal Highness, Prince Harry

Would It Kill You To Wear An Ascot For a Change?

Princess Eugenie's Endearing Nude Rampage

Crush of the Week: His Royal Highness, Prince Harry

Bryan Christian — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:03:00 GMT

We get the whole thing about Prince William -- he's built like a shining lighthouse of Englishness and he's got his mom's eyes and smile. Fair enough. But in our humble opinion, our favorite of the young Royals has always been and remains Prince Henry of Wales, AKA Prince Harry, the ginger-haired 23-year old third heir to the English throne and, as you probably know, the subject of some unfortunate media attention over the last few days. We're not generally partial to bad boys, or guys with guns (though maybe we should let Scanner Emily speak for herself on that one). But then, we're kinda of the mind that Harry's never really gotten a fair break in ye olde press in the first place. Like that time a couple years back when he caught hell for going to a party in a Nazi uniform. What, we were concerned that the ghost of Adolf Eichmann was gonna take over his mind or something?

And now -- just as the poor kid's gotten comfy in a whole other set of fatigues, and all because of some fedora'd fuckwit in Florida -- Harry's got to cool his heels back in Jolly Olde for a while. Well, here's what we're guessing: he's already trying to figure out the next thing to do. Maybe it's in the military, maybe it's in another type of service, but take a look at that kid up there and just try to tell us that he's gonna sit around moping in Buckingham Castle and playing Playstation all day. He'll do something worthwhile, mark our words.

You got a bum rap, kid -- but we're pretty sure that you're gonna make the most of it. And if you can keep that mane of yours trimmed, you're probably gonna be dating some right foxy birds while you do it.

And for that, he is our Crush of the Week.