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Nothing Golden Can Stay: Bea Arthur, RIP

Colleen Kane — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:30:00 GMT

Bea Arthur, best known for her Emmy-winning roles on Maude and Golden Girls and her ongoing role in our hearts, died on Saturday after a battle with cancer. (Might we refer you to the January Scanner post Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009. Bea is the first from that list to kick off.)

Bea's commanding presence and acerbic wit-via-man-voice combo will never be duplicated, although many drag queens will come close. Unlike the case with some older comic figures, Bea still made us LOL into her final years, like doing her turn on Comedy Central's celebrity roast of Pamela Anderson, as she placidly read aloud a sodomy-themed excerpt from Pamela's book Star Struck (of course we have this for you after the jump). She was a feminist icon, a gay icon, and an animal rights supporter. What was not to love?

Let's look at some Scanner-appropriate moments from Bea's career.

The Golden Girls buy condoms.

And then there's Maude considering abortion.

Sniff Swig Puff, with Rock Hudson

The Sex and the City Parody.

Finally, that reading on Pamela's celebrity roast.

*Sigh* We've lost a great. Bea Arthur will be missed.

And then there were two...

You're Golden, Baby: Estelle Getty Leaves Us Laughing At Age 84

Sloppy Seconds: Happy Bea Day!

Sable Starr, RIP

Colleen Kane — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 13:30:00 GMT

The famed '70s rock groupie Sable Starr has died at age 51, it was reported yesterday...on Facebook?

Legs McNeil, author of the punk oral history Please Kill Me, as well as the porn oral history The Other Hollywood, broke the news via status update on Facebook Monday.

McNeil posted this message from his friend Phillippe Marcade, before the news appeared elsewhere.

Sweet Sabel (sic) died of cancer, in her sleep, last friday night. I taledk (sic) to her boyfriend Bill this morning. It's so sad, I loved her, she was wonderful. I had last seen her last year as she visted my girlfriend and I in florida. We'll miss her dearly.

Other accounts online are attributing the cause of death to brain tumors.

Sable led the post-GTOs (Pamela Des Barres, Cynthia Plaster Caster) generation of groupies in the 1970s with her cohort Lori Lightning. She got an early start at age 13 or 14 and racked up relationships or relations with Keith Richards, Marc Bolan, Mickey Finn, Ron Asheton, Scott Asheton, Iggy Pop, Jimmy Page, David Bowie, Johnny Thunders, Richard Hell, and Stiv Bators.

Iggy Pop wrote "Look Away" about Sable and Johnny Thunders.

I slept wlth Sable when she was 13
Her parents were too rich to do anything
She rocked her way around L.A
'Til a New York doll carried her away
Look away Look away

Now he was blond and she was dark
They called him Thunder 'cause he had the spark
The dream he dreamed was straight and pure
But the confusion of life was gonna get him for sure
Look away Look away

They shared their clothes and their cowboy boots
Left them all over the floor while they dyed their roots
They live the dreann and they went non-stop
They did' ok 'til the band broke up
Look away Look away Look away Look away

Unfortunately the needle broke
Their rock and roll love like a bicycle spoke
I found her in a back street with her looks half gone
She was sellin something that I was on
Look away Look away

Now Thunder and me did not part friends
What we did once I wouldn't do again
So he stayed with the pure dream and followed the moon
'Til the drugs in his body made his mind a cartoon
Look away Look away

So a few years later Thunder died broke
Sable had a baby back at her folks
Me I went straight and serious too
There wasn't much else that I could do
Look away Look away

So now that I'm straight I'm settled too
I eat and I slesp and I work like you
I got lots of feelings but I hold them down
That's a way I cope with this shitty town
Look away Look away
Look away Look away

Read Sable's own juicy account of her tryst with David Bowie in this excerpt from Please Kill Me.

Related:

Mickey Rourke Enjoys the Flasher Groupies in France

Tom Jones' Wife is Rich But Rather Tragic

Groupie Shocked To Find Out Pop Music Douche Used Her For Her Body

A Potential Twist on the Marilyn Chambers Death

Colleen Kane — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:01:00 GMT

So far, the L.A. coroner has ruled investigation into the cause of Marilyn Chambers' death inconclusive, and said she died of "natural causes," which simply rules out "active human intervention."

However, another prominent figure from L.A.'s pornography stable and a friend of Marilyn's, director Veronica Hart, has stepped forward with a theory of her own.

Veronica has been trying to sort out Marilyn's funeral arrangements and has been talking to people who knew Marilyn, she told AVN. One of the neighbors told Veronica that Marilyn had fallen and hit her head recently, which is leading to speculation that Marilyn met an end much like that met earlier this year by actress Natasha Richardson.

Although many folks have asked about the funeral and offered to help out with expenses, no arrangements have been announced yet.

Related:

Marilyn Chambers Found Dead

Image

Marilyn Chambers Found Dead

Colleen Kane — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

The adult film and sometime-mainstream actress Marilyn Chambers was found dead in her mobile home yesterday, days short of her 57th birthday.

Chambers was best known for her 1972 XXX debut, Behind the Green Door, the story behind which is depicted in the biopic Rated X. She modeled as an Ivory Snow girl, appeared in dozens of other films, and also ran for Vice President.

No official cause of death has been given yet, but her death is being attributed to an overdose of pills and alcohol, at least on Wikipedia.

Related:

In the Blink of a Young Girl's Eye: The Glory Days of Porn Posters

Bat P*ssy Reminds Us of the Good Ol' Days

Death in the Gossip World Has a Suspicious Twist

Colleen Kane — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:53:00 GMT

Celebrity columnist James Brady died on Monday at age 80. He is responsible for the existence of everybody's favorite page of the New York Post (besides the front page with the painful pun-driven headlines in 500-point font), Page Six. He also edited Star magazine when it was new in 1974.

If anyone reading this happens to be an old and/or wholesome person familiar with Parade magazine, Brady wrote their "In Step With" column for years. His final column will run Feburary 15, and the subject of it is most suspect indeed. Guess who it is!

It's the man connected to everyone. Is Kevin Bacon the Grim Reaper?

Related:

Is 'Page Six' on Miley Cyrus Skank Watch?

Today in Page Six: Naomi Campbell, Prince, Joe Francis, Unnamed Penthouse Pet

McCain's Fem-bot Wife Wants to Go 'Dancing With the Stars'

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

Colleen Kane — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:40:00 GMT

No one could have called Heath Ledger's untimely demise in 2008, but there are some olds who just take on that look of imminent death, as if their essence is draining away. It won't be long once someone takes on the death look, and no one seems to ever shake it off. Paul Newman had it this year. (RIP, Best Guy to Die in 2008.) The ones with the death look are dancing a tango with the Grim Reaper as we speak. Another dead giveaway is if you are reminded about an older celebrity and can't remember if they're dead or not.

The ones in grave danger, a few wild cards, and an example of the death look, after the jump.

Old Hollywood: Mickey Rooney -- He is going to be 89 if he makes it to his birthday in September. Unfortch, he has two factors working against him: the death look, and I couldn't remember if he was still alive or not until looking him up. Runners-up: Elizabeth Taylor, Peter O'Toole, Kirk Douglas

Comics: Don Rickels -- He's got the death look, big time.

If he makes it through 2009, I'll eat my hat. Runners-up: Jerry Lewis, Bea Arthur (too much of a loss to celebrity roasts to contemplate), Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett

Too Soon: Amy Winehouse -- It wouldn't be surprising if she woke up dead after some party night. I hope not, but it wouldn't be surprising. Runners-up: Swayze -- He's never looked so gaunt; there may be some truth to the rumors that his cancer is getting the best of him.

Classic Country: Merle Haggard -- He's got the cancer. Lung cancer. Runners-up: Loretta Lynn and Willie Nelson, not because they appear to be on death's door, but because that would be just my luck if they died before I got to see them perform live. (I will forever regret missing out on Johnny Cash.)

Rock and Soul: Fats Domino -- Death look. And I didn't realize he was still alive until he got airlifted out of the Ninth Ward during Katrina. Runners-up: Etta James -- I forgot she was still alive until Beyonce's recent portrayal.

Leaders: Ted Kennedy. Runners-up: Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro, if he's still alive and not propped up for photo ops a la Weekend at Bernie's, Kim Jong-Il, if he's not already dead with an imposter or several in his place as many news reports have speculated. We have another slight possibility in mind that would also be filed under Too Soon and would involve an assasination, but it's too unthinkable to even write.

Sports: I hate sports, so who the F knowss

How Are They Still Alive: Abe Vigoda

Did I miss anyone obvious?

Related:

Wino Goes Topless and We Say No No No

Spoon Or Spork: Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse: A F*cking Disastah

Image: Rickels with fellow "comedian" John Mayer, johnmayer.com/blog

Bettie Page Never Really Aged

Colleen Kane — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:40:00 GMT

The pinup who launched a million bangs passed away last evening at age 85 after suffering a heart attack nine days ago. Her haircut was a little too imitated, but Bettie's sweet sensuality will never be duplicated.

We were curious about how Bettie looked like as a mature woman, and while she didn't like to be photographed in her old age, and she gave her last on-camera interviews in shadow America's Most Wanted- style, we found a fan photo to share.

Here she was at age 80. What was she so hung up about? She looked darling.

While You Were Sleeping: Viva Bettie Page

Jenna Jameson: The Next PETA Pin-Up

Will Anna Nicole Smith Be in This Year's Oscars Obit Montage?

Bryan Christian — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:29:00 GMT

As some of you film buffs no doubt know, the last seven days of the year aren't just the time when we all start to freak out about whether we're still gonna be able to fit into that old pair of leather chaps come New Years. It's also the last seven consecutive days for a motion picture to be released in theaters in order to earn eligibility for an Academy Award.

However, for us, the most burning question that will be answered at the 2008 Oscars Ceremony has nothing to do with movies, unless you're talking about The Hudsucker Proxy, Skyscraper, or Naked Gun 33+1/3rd. That's right, what we want to know is: will Anna Nicole Smith get included in this year's "In Memoriam" montage? She didn't make the cut last year, but then, she only died three weeks prior to the ceremony, and we're pretty certain that noted British actor Ian Richardson didn't make the cut either, and he died the day after her.

So, what do you think? We think it's probably a "Yes," but by "think" we mostly mean "hope." And if she doesn't make it, well, at least we can all click through to find one brave soul's attempt to right this historic wrong.

COD is OD for Quiet Riot Singer

Bryan Christian — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:28:00 GMT

Looks like not everyone in rock and roll grows old as gracefully as John Paul Jones, who wowed everyone at the Zep concert the other day by wearing a decent shirt, looking pretty much normal for his age, and still playing better than ever. Turns out that when Quiet Riot singer Kevin Dubrow died last month, he had cocaine in his system, leading coroners to suspect he died of an accidental overdose -- and leading us to ask: seriously, is there not, like, a rule in the great book of R'n'F'n'R stating that if you're doing hard drugs in your fifties (YOUR FIFTIES!), you're gonna wind up buying the farm at 5 in the AM in your Vegas home wearing boxers and a wifebeater and watching reruns of "Cheaters"?

Rock and Roll Heaven is Quietly Rioting

Bryan Christian — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:29:00 GMT

Sad news for 80's metal fans: Kevin Dubrow, lead singer for Quiet Riot on their 1983 hit "Cum On Feel The Noize" and, er, everything else they did, was found dead at his home in Las Vegas, NV on Sunday. He was 52 years old; COD is unclear at this time.

Girlz, we sincerely hope that, in Dubrow's honor, you take a moment tonight to rock yer boyz and get wild wild wild. And if you were planning on doing that anyway, we hope you do it twice.