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Do You Like... Jumbo?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:41:00 GMT

Since no one in their right mind watches MTV anymore, we're guessing none of you have ever seen these condom PSA's the network has been running.

Here we have the complete 3-minute rundown of all the puppet porn hilarity... never has the term "pee-pee" been used to such great effect outside of the world of six-year-old boys...

Everything Was Funnier in 1985

My New Favorite Website: Sex Advice With All the Inaccuracies of Yahoo Questions

ShamWow-SlapChop Guy Will RapChop That Ass [VIDEO]

Boobs Pull Double Breasted (Burger) Ad

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 18:30:00 GMT

The Australian fast food chain called Nando's has offended the nation's sensibilities once again with a demeaning ad that involves boobs, French fries, "funny accents," and boobs. There are also boobs.

A complaint that the ad encouraged discrimination against women was upheld, meaning that the ad - for the “Classic Double Breast Burger” has been pulled.

ASB CEO Fiona Jolly said: “While the Board recognised the intended humour, it also considered a significant proportion of the community would be offended and find there was an element of sexuality and objectification of women that was concerning.”

In Nando’s submission, the company claimed it had behaved with “sensitivity to the relevant audience”. It added: “As a company, we are very proud of our irreverent brand nature.”

Nice try, sexist pigs, you are hereby banned. Or: your ad is banned. Or: you get more publicity for being banned than any stupid fast food ad in which someone's boobs play a prominent role ever could have done for your chicken sandwich special.

Here is the ad that is no longer in question, due to the almighty Advertising Standards Bureau, aka the Bureau, n. "a chest" of "drawers":

What do you think? Harmless, hilarious, hideous?

Via mUmbrella.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:34:00 GMT

Bob Dylan has the #1 record in England, making him the oldest musician to ever hold that spot. Although he has had many more top 5 records there than in the United States, it's his first chart-topper since 1970.

Angela Merkel... in her undies?

An eight-year-old girl was finally allowed to divorce her middle-aged husband.

Here's an in-depth look at Masters and Johnson, who may have faked those "gay conversion" studies, as we reported last week.

A look at life under "socialist" European government.

Donna Rice Hughes was half of the sex scandal that doomed Gary Hart's 1988 Presidential campaign. Now, she's back in the spotlight, fighting pornography.

Wanna see someone get waterboarded?

And the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction case drags on.

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Miss California Carrie Prejean Appears In New Anti-Gay Marriage Ad

Emily Farris — Fri, 01 May 2009 21:36:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Well, she's certainly not backing down, is she? The commercial is from some group called the National Organization For Marriage and features Miss California's now-famous "no offense" response to Perez Hilton's question. Yesterday the Miss USA runner-up joined NOM to launch the "no offense" ad. This after New Hampshire passed a bill Wednesday to become the fifth state to legalize same-sex marriages. Ms. Prejean, you're only 21 years old and the world is already passing you by...

Read more...

Double Your Pleasure

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:19:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: What is it about retro lithographs that hits on our collective sense of national nostalgia? Actually, that's probably exactly what it is, but regardless, they're just... Cool. And these very, very NSFW retro pin-ups by Mel Ramos are a perfect example of this:

Read more...

Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:02:00 GMT

The Oregonian, rapidly becoming the preeminent source of nudity news in the Pacific Northwest, alerted us to a new Nike campaign that involves butt-naked runners.

Butt naked, of course, except for their Nike Free running shoes, which are, of course, very far from "free..."

Apparently, everyone is on nikerunning.com watching the video, so we don't have it for you, but it goes something like this: a bunch of people run around naked (except for the stupid product they're supposed to be promoting, of course) at Bear Butte Training Camp. Now, where's my drum hit?

Some are very fit extras; the rest, Nike-sponsored athletes who train in Oregon. [Ed. note: Although the ad was filmed in California, where runners say the heat made stripping off their workout clothes no big deal at all.]

Holding a strategically placed guitar, U.S. 5,000-meter champion Lauren Fleshman discusses the Bear lifestyle. Nick Symmonds, a national 800-meter champion, bends to lace his shoes and gushes, "If you want to be a super-natural runner, you've got to train like one."

So, in other words, Nike is encouraging people to streak in order to become sort of demon dasher, a "super-natural runner?" Well, that we would love to hear about from the Oregonian.

Nike

The Oregonian

And here's a video from The Remore Island of a pole vaulter who lost his Nike sponsorship and took to the streets naked... with only his pole.

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And You Thought That "Mow the Lawn" Commercial was Bad...

Colleen Kane — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

The cutesy Schick "Mow the Lawn" ad got a lot of attention last week, but now let's consider the Japanese contribution to the commercials-about- unmentionables...

Do These Ads Come Off as Suggestive to You?

Colleen Kane — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:45:00 GMT

In Russia, they make milk ads look like bukkake! What a country!

Follow-up question: do you think Photoshop was used in creating these images?

More here.

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Advertising Event Promotes Full-Frontal Nudity As Business Model

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:50:00 GMT

For the past several months, we've been reporting on the advertising industry's desperate descent into nudity-focused marketing campaigns. Normally, we would applaud any stripping away of censorship, but marketing agencies have always pissed us off by cynically co-opting all up-and-coming movements, milking them, and so oversaturating the mainstream with their ideas that even outsiders want nothing to do with what they once loved. (Case in point, graffiti-- once Madison Avenue realized hip kids "dug" that fresh style, everything in the 1980s had that awful, fake "tagged" look. Now we want to vomit anytime anyone mentions "taggers.")

Luckily, in Austria, people have a healthier attitude toward the nude form. Of course, that won't stop advertisers from having an event specifically geared toward nudity in hopes more people will pay attention...

We better let the website itself explain their 21st century ideas:

XIPAX - Show us your best bits.
XIPAX.com gives creative people the chance to present their ad campaigns – and of course their best work. The key message of the campaign: Show me yours and I’ll show you mine. The idea: double meanings that encourage people to show off their best work, but also hint at showing oneself in the nude. The kick-off for the campaign: a guerilla promotion at the annual gala hosted by Creativ Club Austria (CCA).

Why they have to do this naked is beyond us-- just sounds like another gimmick. But the video is mighty entertaining... watch as a guy comes up to the stage, drops trou, and holds up a sign promoting XIPAX. How many years before Valtrex tries this at a Dodgers game?

NOTE: We could not embed the video after all, so click here to see the multiple naked people...

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Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Last year Pamela Anderson posed for a PETA ad wearing only lettuce. Not to be outdone by a rookie, 82-year-old Cloris Leachman—who we can honestly say we want to be just like when we grow up—decided she would pose for the animal rights organization wearing only cabbage.

We had no idea Leachman was a vegetarian, and honestly we have a hard time believing she's been able to kick it for so many years without a little red meat in her diet, but if so, more power to her.

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[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Rihanna's New Tattoo

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Say it ain't so: celebrities with ghost Twitterers? 50 Cent has one. So does Ron Paul and Barack Obama (we figured as much for Mr. President). [NYT]

But now that we think of it, Courtney Love might benefit from a ghost Twitterer. [Vulture]

Here's a condom commercial that's not even safe for YouTube, apparently. [Lifestyles]

Rihanna got a sort-of awesome gun tattoo in a sort-of awesome place. [People]

We are much less enthused about this pop-art rendering of the infamous Rihanna police photo. [Yahoo!]

Willie Aames, of "Charles in Charge" is around the corner from Scanner HQ selling, well, pretty much everything he owns after his recent home foreclosure.[Plog]

[Image]

Video of the Day: An Oldie But a Goodie

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 21:35:00 GMT

A tipster sent us this Guinness commercial with the subject line "Best. Ad. Ever." and while it's maybe a little sexist, and at least six months old, we sort-of have to agree.

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Audrina Partridge Already Reduced to Nude Advertisements

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge is gearing up to star in a (hilariously awful!) spinoff of (the hilariously awful!) MTV fiction show The Hills.

Partridge and her ridiculous breast implants are apparently worthy of their own sitcom, since Partridge was such an exciting addition to The Hills that the 30-program could hardly cram in all her personal and professional trials and tribulations. Those mainly consisted of sitting around a pool, talking in an annoying voice, and not pretending to get married in Mexico.

So, MTV decided it can't have Partridge promote her upcoming series by going on "talk" shows, because it doesn't want to scare off its last two potential viewers. Instead, Partridge landed a deal with Divine Rights of Denim jeans, which continues the trend of having celebrity spokespeople pose nude to advertise their lame products...

Have we vented enough yet? Good.

By the way, the ads are above and directly below, followed by what you really clicked on this for: the lost nude Audrina Partridge photos.

More of the Divine Rights shoot here.

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Salma Hayek's First TV Commercial [VIDEO]

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:35:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: The unbearably gorgeous Salma with ridiculous '80's hair and headband, in an ad for Burger Boy, a Mexican fast food chain.

Read more...

Salma Hayek's First TV Commercial [VIDEO]

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 08:10:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: The unbearably gorgeous Salma with ridiculous '80's hair and headband, in an ad for Burger Boy, a Mexican fast food chain.

Read more...

Coke Ad Offends the Entire Country of Sweden

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:33:00 GMT

Maybe we're being extra sensitive coming off the Bust Party last night, but sexism is definitely making a comeback on this Friday afternoon.

First, there was the 6 Tips on Cheating With Multiple Girlfriends list link. Then comes word that Sweden-- as a whole-- is fed up with Coca-Cola's sexist ads. We wish they would take on all sexist advertising while they're at it...

Here's the ad that has the country in an uproar:

According to the Local, Sweden's must-read (online!) newspaper, ad agency watchdogs in the great European nation have attacked Coke for treating women as "purely sex objects."

But what offended the person who filed the complaint was the fact that, if a number of questions posed on the website are answered in a certain way, the woman is suddenly standing near a bed wearing only a bra and panties.

While Coca-Cola chose not to comment on that specific aspect of the internet ad campaign, it explained that the website was supposed to create an image of how life should be.

So, Coke thinks life should involve stripper harems, dishonest breakups, superficial relationships, and "diet" soda that tastes like pond water? Oh, and did Coke happen to see this post, which we linked to this morning? Wonder what they think of that kind of "life."

Via the Local.

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PETA Gives Up, Decides to Just Have All-Stripper Campaigns

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:29:00 GMT

PETA has unveiled its latest ad campaign. No, it doesn't involve celebrities prancing around in the buff. No, it doesn't involve random overzealous protesters prancing around in the buff.

For the first time ever, PETA has used professional naked people for its print campaign...

The girls of Rick's Cabaret are getting naked... and not for tips.

[T]he new "We'd rather go topless than wear Fur" advertisement featur[es] seven topless vixens from Rick's Cabaret, the only publicly-traded chain of gentlemen's clubs.

"Compassion is a big turn-on, but fur-wearers leave me cold," says Alicia, one of the women featured. "By showing some of our skin, we hope to save animals' skins." [Radar]

Is anyone ever convinced by these ads? Will there be more vegetarians or more customers at the nation's Rick's Cabarets as a result of this ad?

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Women vs. Sexy Sex Ads

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 22:30:00 GMT

Over the years, the Department of the Obvious has informed us that women are found to be turned off by advertisements with strong sexual content, such as American Apparel billboards or TV spots for those randy Teletubbies.

However, new research has shown there is one thing women of all ages respond to in sexy ads... and no, it's not peen...

The study, published this month in Journal of Consumer Research, finds that women respond more favorably to sexual ads when the item in the ad is described as a gift from a man to a woman. In addition, women have high positive responses to sexual ads that depict a committed and loving man — but not for those depicting a committed and loving woman. [Emphasis added.]

We're not sure we even wanted to know this. After all, isn't this kind of study-- and web reporting on it-- actually reinforcing stereotypes and encouraging advertisers to make the same type of simplistic ads over and over? Selfish women want a ring but not to have to be tied down, while, as the study goes on to say, selfish men don't want to buy women anything-- they just want to get laid. In fact, they responded negatively to ads suggesting sex should be received only after purchasing or somehow bartering something with a woman.

When viewing the sexual ads, women responded more favorably to the ad with the gift. However, men preferred the sexual ad without the gift. "Despite their steadfast support for sex-based advertising, we did find that men reacted negatively to sexually explicit ads when the ads strongly reminded men that they may, at times, devote monetary resources in pursuit of sexual contact," the authors wrote. [Live Science]

Yes, it seems we're in a vicious cycle, and advertising is only going to get more desperate... and obvious. For further proof, see the related section...

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Video of the Day: MAC-Hello Kitty Commercial

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 17:43:00 GMT

Other than for this very purpose (spreading it around the Interwebs) we're not sure why any company would put together a four minute and eleven second commercial. But if you are going to put together a four minute and eleven second commercial, this MAC Cosmetics + Hello Kitty ad is the way to do it.
At one point, a woman chases her little black pussy cat into a pink tube as the lyrics "come inside" are accompanied by trippy techno music. It just gets better after that. We would have like to watched this during the Super Bowl commercial breaks.

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via BoingBoing

Atheists in Italy Learn That God Hates Them

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:04:00 GMT

The atheist bus campaign rolls on.

Its latest victims and champions can be found in Italy, where the city of Genoa was supposed to be rewarded for its long ties to some small religion (it apparently involves worshiping an old kook in a big pointy hat) by facing off with the greatest of all evils: a billboard ad.

This time, however, the controversial slogan went unseen by the brainwashed/enlightened masses, thanks to either define intervention or faulty mechanics...

According to the UPI, the first bus to feature a hotly-contested ad ventured out into the streets this morning, only to be confronted by a dying battery. Within minutes, the public transit vehicle was back at headquarters for repairs, and Catholics (and, well, other religious people) were laughing and praising their Lord.

By the way, this is far from the end of the story. The bus should be back on the streets again soon, having survived only the latest of rounds in a long-running dispute. It originally was going to feature an ad reading "The Bad News Is God Doesn't Exist. The Good News Is You Don't Need Him," a much harsher version than the original atheist bus ad running in various parts of the world ('There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.")

The new bus reads: "The Good News Is There Are Millions of Atheists In Italy; The Excellent News Is They Believe In Freedom Of Expression," which gives the impression we're going out with a whimper... and not with a big bang.

Via UPI. Photo via Flickr.

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Video of the Day: Meet the Polaroid Swinger

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:51:00 GMT

Was Polariod trying to tell us (or our parents) something with this commercial for the Polariod "Swinger?"

It's more than a camera/ it's almost alive/ it's only nineteen dollars/ and ninety-five

Swing it up (yeah yeah)/ it says yes (yeah yeah)/ take the shot (yeah yeah)/ count it down (yeah yeah)/ zip it off — wait, what?

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(Thanks, Andrew!)

What, Exactly, Are They Selling?

Colleen Kane — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Relish, ehhh? So, is this an ad for a brand of organic pepper spray to use when you're being molested by a cop?

Nope, it's an ad for an Italian clothing line. Of course!

They're running on billboards in Rio de Janiero, where the mayor declared them in bad taste, and said he might try to get the billboards taken down in Italy as well.

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Via OhLaLamag

Christians Retaliate Against Atheists With Even Lamer Ad Campaign

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:02:00 GMT

Last month's story about the atheism bus and subway ad campaign is far and away the most-visited post we've ever run. Fools on both sides of the aisle are still debating the merits of the anti-God argument and every other aspect of the article. As of now, there are more than 80 comments (hey, that's a lot for us) and no end to the debate in sight.

Now, comes word that the Christians are striking back publicly, with their own counter-campaign to the counter-campaign...

After more than 150 complaints about the above-pictured slogan from whiners who had no problem with the original campaign, a pro-Christian God-loving and in-your-face bus ad, the Christians decided that public momentum was on their side. They've decided to strike back with this new marketing strategy: a bus ad.

"There definitely is a God. So join the Christian Party and enjoy your life."

Wow-- what, was "I know you are, but what am I?" already taken? Golf clap for creativity, guys, just taking the original slogan and changing the words to fit your own opinion. That kind of thinking is why Democrats gave it up to loser candidates like George Bush and Saxby Chambliss. ("No, terrorists are not going to kill you" "no, we will not raise taxes on the middle class," "no, John Kerry is not Herman Munster," etc.)

Then again, this is all just preaching to the choir-- almost literally. No one will be persuaded by either of these arguments, but it was admittedly refreshing to see an ad that didn't use scare tactics (that means you, "show up to church or God will punish you" billboards in the American South) to express a religious message.

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Your Daily Dose of Sexism...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:50:00 GMT

What are these women going on about? According to Guilia in Italy:

It's an ad for a body lotion that supposedly lifts your tits. The two women are asked their age (one is in her twenties, the other in her thirties), occupation, whether they're wearing a bra ("Of course not!") and whether they've had surgery ("Are you out of your mind?"). And then the interviewer decides to "test" the virtues of the miracle concoction.

Welcome to Italy, where the misogynists run free. If women even tried to complain, we'd be told we're humourless.

They claim a body lotion enhances your bust? Don't they have the equivalent of an FDA there? I mean, can you imagine what American commericals would be like if companies were allowed to say whatever they like, such as "Will.i.am is this generation's Bob Dylan!"

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Spirit Airlines Releases Sex Commercial, Pisses Everyone Off

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:12:00 GMT

The economy is in such dire straits, it seems, companies aren't perturbed in the least to hear that their employees are furious about the new marketing plan...

According to the Huffington Post, pilots and flight crew alike are furious at Spirit Airlines for forcing employees to wear aprons with Bug Light's logo on them. Oh, and there's this ad, which has garnerned a whopping 1.5 stars on YouTube since its release and is Spirit's new lead commercial:

As one union spokesperson put it:

"I feel as though I have entered a time warp and am reliving the battles for respect and justice for women that we fought for 40 years ago," Friend said.
Some of Spirit's ads invite customers to enjoy its DD's (deep discounts) and "MILF" (many islands, low fare) specials _ double entendres that also refer to large breasts and a crude acronym popularized in the 1999 movie "American Pie" that describes an attractive mother. [HuffPo]

This may be even sadder than American Apparel using full frontal nudity to sell its... clothing. Correction: this is definitely sadder, because at least those were porn stars.

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More Naked Rugby Dudes

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Powerade is celebrating its new official sponsorship of the Rugby Football Union by featuring three buck naked stars in their latest ads.

The players, Paul Sackey, Steve Borthwick and Shane Williams, are seen from the back in positions of "action"-- and, unfortunately, it's not that kind of "action."

(By the way, the actual ads are banner ads of these photos, with the word "Powerade" on the right side. Nothing special other than the pics.)

As you know, we've been following the recent trend of blatant nudity to sell unrelated products, which have mostly featured female porn stars so far. This is one of the few we've spotted in which naked dudes are the featured attraction...

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Our Favorite Bizarre Subway Posters

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 20:39:00 GMT

We've rounded up another compilation of our favorite photos-- this time, the category is Crazy Subway Posters, Usually Ads, Often Defaced... or something like that...

In any case, they're all brilliant. (Here's one we didn't use, only because the poster sucks. The photo of the poster-- look carefully-- is what caught our attention.)

The above photo is of a doctored poster from the Photoshopping campaign-- an artist pasted Photoshop tool symbols over airbrushed pictures in the subway. In case you hadn't figured out how Britney Spears can look entirely awful in real life and not entirely unattractive in ads...

The below shot is of a really offensive ad, which we've because it's too memorable to leave out:

And a cheat-- a poster that, well, doesn't really count but we found during our search and felt we had to share...

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From Porn Stars To Prostitutes... The Latest Ads

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:45:00 GMT

Remember how, just the other day, we were speculating on the next form of desperate advertising? We predicted that, what with all the full frontal nudity in American Apparel ads, the only thing left for marketing people to try was blatant hardcore sex.

While we were only half-serious, we couldn't have realized how close we were to the truth. For the very next day, a story broke about an ad agency using actual prostitutes in a campaign...

It appears to be a legitimate activist attempt to start a discussion about legalizing prostitution, right? Actually, it's yet another not-so-guerilla stunt by a ratings-starved radio station without anything else to offer. (You can see the logo for Toronto's CFRB 1010 in the bottom right corner of the signs.)

In an interview with local media, the Bad Date Coalition of Toronto, which advocates for sex workers, attacked the ad and its producers:

“It’s to give that radio station attention. It has nothing to do with helping out the sex worker … It’s using them,” she said. “If we wanted to have an actual discussion … have the sex workers come in and have it in a place where it’s safe and where people can call in and respectfully ask questions.”
She said having the women display a sign on the street “sets them up” to be targeted by police and predators.

While we don't disagree with her on the radio station bit, it's a bit silly to say the signs set them up to be targeted by police-- after all, they were already standing there, working as prostitutes, being targets for police, when the ad agency waltzed by and asked if they wanted to earn an hour's wage without doing anything illegal, which can't be a bad thing.

Via Toronto's National Post.

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Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Nude American Apparel Ads Aren't Going Away

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 23:03:00 GMT

Just before the new year, we reported on the Sasha Grey full frontal American Apparel ad. Our post ended up being widely circulated, but no one pointed out to us that Sasha was kicking off a campaign of rampant nudity for the clothing manufacturer...

First, there was the European ad that preceded Sasha's foray into mainstream advertising, a layout we only just learned of today:

Here's the Sasha Grey ad we wrote about previously, calling it the extreme end of the advertising spectrum, for what else is there for marketing to try? Actual hardcore sex?

And the mysterious new ad. Can anyone tell us who this strangely anonymous lass is?

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Video of the Day: Durex Bunnies Keep Going and Going and Going

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:39:00 GMT

Though the sound effects on this hilarious new Durex ad give us the heebie jeebies—just a little bit—we've already watched it like ten times. Your turn.

See the out-takes at the designer's site.

[Via BoingBoing]

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