Scanner : affairs

Sloppy Seconds: Free Viagra!

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

Spring Awakening—the musical that made more than $57 million in the United States and made anyone who went to see it with his or her parents very uncomfortable—is closing in London after only five months. [FlavorWire]

Um, what kind of high school lets the yearbook team publish an upskirt photo? [BuzzFeed]

A new development in the Jon and Kate Plus Eight saga: Jon may not have been the only one allegedly cheating. Apparently, he had long feared that his wife was having an affair with her married bodyguard. [Us]

Ashley Olsen isn't the only woman modeling men's clothing. [AfterEllen]

Could Johnny Depp play Frank Sinatra in the movies? [Vulture]

Elizabeth Edwards will talk about her husband John's mistress, as long as no one mentions her name. [Yahoo!]

Just because you don't have a job, or health insurance, doesn't mean you shouldn't have your Viagra. Pfizer has s unveiled a new program will let people who have lost their jobs and health insurance keep taking some widely prescribed Pfizer medications—including Lipitor and Viagra—for free for up to a year. [Yahoo!]

Related:

Ashley Olsen Takes Off Men's Clothes to Sell Them

It's Not Looking Good for Jon and Kate

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Get Gay Married in New Hampshire?

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:03:00 GMT

As of this morning, federal officials had confirmed 91 infections of swine flu in 11 states. Time to freak the fuck out, people! [Baltimore Sun]

In her new memoir, Elizabeth Edwards said she vomited after learning of her husband, former democratic presidential candidate John Edwards', affair. [Us]

Liev Schreiber used to resent girlfriend and baby mama Naomi Watts' fame. But he's learned to live with it. [FemaleFirst]

Porn star Joanna Angel talks about how the recession has affected her end of the sex industry. [FlavorWire]

The New Hampshire Senate yesterday voted 13-11 to approve gay marriage. The bill has been sent back to the House for changes and if the bill becomes law, New Hampshire will be the fifth state to allow same-sex marriages. [Boston.com]

Just in time for the first gay American Idol? [Reuters]

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Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

I made this for you. Well, I made it for me, but you can make it for yourself by using my recipe. It's a Green Eggs & Ham Easter casserole and it has biscuits (and cheese!) on top. [Slashfood]

Billy Bob Thornton was booed onstage while performing with his band Boxmasters in Canada. But not necessarily because they were bad, but because prior to that he'd gotten into it with a local DJ who then introduced him at the show. [MTV]

Aren't women supposed to go around bragging about affairs with rockstars? You know, like that one we had with Jim James*? [People]

When we went to the New School we, for the most part, stayed clear of the protests. Good thing, because it seems they end with pepper spray. [DailyIntel]

Freddy Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar are expecting a baby vampire slayer. [People]

Guess who has a book deal? Meghan McCain, daughter of Senator John and Cookie Monster Cindy has apparently signed a deal with Hyperion to pen a book about politics. [Yahoo!]

We were never the best at anything as kids. So we totally would have taken being the best Ping Pong player. Too bad this six-year-old would have taken that away from us, too. [Neatorama]

Critics are slamming Miley Cyrus' big-screen Hannah Montana. Um, yeah. [Us]

Remember that funny Some E Card? Well, turns out Christ is on Twitter. Well, sort-of. Trinity Church in New York has decided to Tweet the Passion of the Christ. Will you follow Jesus? [Twitter]

Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week We Almost Found Jesus

I Love Myself for Loving You: Jim James

*In our dreams. Every night.

SATC Penis Guy's Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:33:00 GMT

This is Gilles Marini. Like us, you may not recognize the name Gilles Marini. In fact, you might not even recognize his face. But if you saw the Sex and the City movie you probably caught a glimpse of his sizable schlong. Or if you (unlike Scanner Brian) have been watching Dancing with the Stars, you might also have seen his junk—through his dance pants, of course. And you know what? Keep looking. Look all you want. Because his wife doesn't give a fuuuuck. In fact, she's not even worried that his partner is Cheryl Burke, who was rumored* to have been sleeping with her DWTS Season One partner, Drew Lachey. So, why is Marini's wife Carole so comfortable with her husband getting other women all hot and bothered?

Because “she’s French,” said Marini. “The more sexy it is [on the show] the better it is for her. Tonight she told me, ‘I saw that shaking booty stuff, you’re going to have to show it to me [at home].”

“Imagine if you do that job and you have a wife in the house or a husband in the house who is very kind of jealous and possessive, things would collapse,” he said in an interview with the website jenandbarbmomlife.com. “If I don’t have my wife at my side I have nothing. And so she is there pushing me and always kissing me and saying, ‘I am so proud of you.’”

Apparently, she pushes real good. The couple have been married for eleven years and have two children together.

[People: Gilles Marini Says Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing]

Related:

Shawn Johnson And Her Partner's Johnson Slip

McCain's Fem-bot Wife Wants to Go 'Dancing With the Stars'

Sloppy Seconds: Which "Dancing With the Stars" Star Will Pose for Playboy?

Crushed: Kim Kardashain's Dreams of Dancing With the Stars (Outside the Bedroom, Anyway)

[Image]

*We are not trying to perpetuate this rumor, only acknowlede its existence.

Rumormongering: Rihanna Gave Chris Brown Herpes

Emily Farris — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:55:00 GMT

The drama surrounding Chris Brown and Rihanna continues. Amid reports that the on-again, off-again couple is taking a much-needed break, we hear that Brown had a "reason" to beat the hell out of his girlfriend—bitch gave him herpes! Or so says a "source close to Brown." A reason to break up with someone? Sure. Beat that person up? Hell no. Of course, tthe story gets better. Because if Rihanna gave Brown The Herp, who gave it to her?

Why, none other than Jay-Z!

This story is, of course, getting more ridiculous by the day. Next thing you know Beyonce and Rihanna are going to come forward with their lesbian love affair and Brown is going to turn up preggers on the Oprah show.

[The Inquisitr: Rihanna gave Chris Brown Herpes?]

Related:

Rumormongering: Rihanna May Not Have Been the Only One Chris Brown Beat Up

This Whole Chris Brown and Rihanna Story Is Getting Sicker By The Day

Sloppy Seconds: What Will Rihanna Say to Chris Brown?

While You Were Sleeping: The Rihanna Nightmare Continues

[Image, Image]

American Woman: The Presidential Mistress

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:54:00 GMT

When you think of presidential mistresses do you imagine Monica Lewinsky and her blue dress making nightly appearances on Inside Edition? Or maybe you picture Marilyn Monroe baring all for photographer Bruce Stern in The Last Sitting. In fact, save for America’s bittersweet love for Ms. Monroe, presidential girlfriends are rarely presented in a positive light. Until now.

British painter Annie Kevans has captured every presidential mistress—and one mister—on record in her oil-on-paper series All the Presidents’ Girls.
JFK's conquests make up more than a third of the collection, but they share the spotlight with the likes of Jefferson’s slave girl Sally Hemings, Monica Lewinsky and William Rufus DeVane King—who was elected Vice President under Franklin Pierce and was rumored to have been James Buchanan’s undercover lover.

Kevans recently closed a three-day gallery show in New York but the entire series can be viewed online.

Related:

Mistress Contest Goes Horribly Wrong

Sloppy Seconds: Ron Wood's Mistress In The Buff

It Never Ends: Giuliani Billed NYC Taxpayers To Bang His Mistress/Future-Wife

Teacher Takes In A 13-Year-Old Boy-- You Know What Happens Next...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:58:00 GMT

Debra LaFavre and the rest of the kooky teacher pervs have nothing on 29-year-old Boston-area teacher Christine McCallum for one simple reason.

They never got to live with their victim and sleep with him more than three hundred times. According to news reports from all over the world, McCallum became a sort-of foster parent to a thirteen-year-old boy after his father was unable to take care of a kid by himself. McCallum and her husband (yep-- seems every perv these days has a spouse of only a few short years) took in the future victim and his brother in late 2005; by early the following year, police allege, McCallum was plying her charge with vodka and seductive attire, leading to makeout sessions and, on February 7th, the taking of his virginity.

This went on for two years-- including sex in the next room while Scott, who was only McCallum's husband for two years when the affair is believed to have begun-- until McCallum and the boy broke up over text messages the boy was receiving from girls his own age. Yes, this is one of those idiots who is said to have given her victim his own cellphone and even wrote incriminating details about their love lives on his MySpace page:

"It's hard to be in love with you and set boundaries for you," she wrote. "It's hard to kiss you and tell you no. It's hard to want someone to take care of me when I have to be the one taking care of everyone else."

You would think someone would've seen that and called the cops-- but it wasn't until a teenage friend of the victim told his own parents what was going on that the police got involved. And the obliviousness doesn't stop there-- McCallum's husband attended court with the accused, never batting an eye, even as prosecutors read damning evidence (most of it in McCallum's own hand) into the record...

Via various sources.

Related:

To Catch a Teacher, Brooklyn Edition

Florida Teacher Says, "Oh, THAT Student I Molested In 1983... He Was 16, It Was Okay"

This Week in Hot for Teacher News: Another Sexy Teacher Gets Sexy With a Student

Caption This: Bill and Hillary Ring in the New Year

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:51:00 GMT

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Sloppy Seconds: Because We'd Like to Keep Our Jobs

Emily Farris — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 23:17:00 GMT

Attention sex fiends, er Scanner Readers, Californication has been picked up for a third season. [Vulture]

Which is worse? That 40% of women can't have orgasms, or that only 12% of women think that's a problem? Maybe we're just not satisfied? [Jezebel]

Madonna and A-Rod are still claiming to be "just friends." Mmmhmmm. [People]

Which well-built actor has been bought a bra for Christmas by a disgruntled ex as a dig about his moobs? [Mirror]

O.J. Simpson is finally headed to jail. And he's sorry. [Faded Youth]

Holy shit. 533,000 people in the U.S. lost their jobs in November. [NYT ]

Image via NYT.com

Sloppy Seconds: More Fun With Sarah Palin Affair Rumors

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:36:00 GMT

~~Hootie~~ Darius Rucker, front man of Hootie and the Blowfish, has bumped Jessica Simpson from the top of Billboard's country chart. Um, is Hank Williams rolling over in his grave? [Us]

Heather Mills gave hamburgers to poor kids in the Bronx last weekend. Except she didn't exactly tell the kids the burgers were vegan. [Gourmet]

We imagine 13-year-old Christian girls (and their mothers) with no taste in music and boys are about the only ones not happy about Clay Aiken coming out. [People]

Yes, we were right. [Radar]

Will you buy Blair and Chuck's albums? We will not. Though we also said we would not watch "Gossip Girl".. sigh. [MTV]

Just as you should not go to George Clooney with a medical emergency (save something stuck in your vagina), you probably shouldn't go to Michael Douglas in times of financial crisis. But hell, nobody else is doing a good job of fixing it, so maybe the "Wall Street" star can offer some hope? [Yahoo!]

If what The Enquirer says is true (hey, they were right about John Edwards) then Sarah Palin used to fuck a snowmobile dealer named Brad Hanson, yet another business parter of poor Todd Palin. [Wonkette]

Who Would You Rather: A-Rod vs. Guy Ritchie?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:59:00 GMT

Now that Alex Rodriguez's divorce is settled, Madonna could pretty much have her way with him—if she hasn't already, if she even still wants to. Except, there's that whole pesky issue of her husband, Guy Ritchie. If you were Madonna, who would you pick? Or even if you weren't Madonna (because you're not) who would you rather: A-Rod or Guy Ritchie?

Related:

**The A-Rod, Madonna, Lenny Kravitz Clusterf*ck**

A-Rod Brainwashed By Hot Madonna or Religious Madonna?

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Does Madonna Have A Sex Tape And Do We Want To See It?

Admiral in Bush Administration Had Affair In White House Basement

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:37:00 GMT

His name, seriously, is Vice Admiral John Stufflebeem. And boy, did he stuff his beam in an early-20s woman in his White House basement love nest...

The juicy/repulsive highlights:

1) It appears a bitter rival on the same career path (or maybe the scorned wom[e]n involved were upset and) came after him. According to USA Today:

an anonymous letter revealed an 18-year-old secret that Stufflebeem thought was long buried and forgotten. The letter accused Stufflebeem of carrying on an eight-month affair with a female State Department staffer while the two were assigned to the White House in 1990.

2) While still living with his wife, who remained oblivious (it seems) to the whole affair, the "37-year-old commander pretended to be a widower, telling the woman that his wife had died of breast cancer and that he was raising his two children on his own, according to the Inspector General's report."

3) Stufflebeem got it on with the unnamed female, who worked for the State Department, "in the White House basement and when the two traveled abroad with the White House travel team. The two engaged in 'passionate kissing' in a car parked near the White House grounds, and he even sexually propositioned the woman's close friend on a trip to London, the report says." Let it never be said the Clinton Administration had more sex in those hallowed halls-- hey, this guy actually got laid in the White House, unlike some former Presidents.

4) On top of all that, the poor woman had to find out he was married from other employees. How embarrassing would that be? You think you're top of the world, baby, just out of college and getting bonked in the fucking White House, then all of a sudden, some dudes you work with say: "What? He told you he's wearing his wedding ring so his kids believe mommy isn't dead? Well, the kids are right-- she ain't fuckin' dead."

5) The affair eventually came to light within the White House hierarchy (Bush 1 knew!), it wasn't until the anonymous letter back in January that Stufflebeem's full story came out and he was completely sacked. The "Boomer" (no, it wasn't a Bush, Sr. nicknname, but a Detroit Lions one) lied to investigators, it is alleged, telling them it was only a chaste "kiss" and that he couldn't even remember the woman's name. Somehow, the whole thing blew over... until now...

Enjoy more sordid details at USA Today.com. (That's probably the only time in history that sentence has ever been uttered.)

Barbara Walters' Wet Hot American Interracial Affair

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:34:00 GMT

Over the years, Barbara Walters has been pretty forgiving of most of her subjects and their misgivings, or at least she comes off as fairly non-judgmental. Maybe that's because she's no angel herself. Baba admitted during a recent taping of the Oprah show to an affair with a married senator in the 1970's.

More than thirty years after the fact, the interview queen opened up to the other interview queen (Oprah) about her affair with Senator Edward Brooke in the 1970's. Brooke, married at the time, was the first African American elected to the Senate by popular vote. Not only that, he was a Republican.

And, in case you were wondering, yeah, she's revealing this now to sell books:

Walters is the guest of Oprah Winfrey to discuss her new memoir, "Audition," which covers her long career in television, as well as her off-camera life. On "Oprah," Walters recounts a phone call from a friend who urged her to stop seeing Brooke.

"He said, 'This is going to come out. This is going to ruin your career,'" then reminded her that Brooke was up for re-election a year later. "'This is going to ruin him. You've got to break this off.'"

Winfrey asks Walters if she was in love.

"I was certainly — I don't know — I was certainly infatuated."

"Infatuated."

"I was certainly involved," Walters says. "He was exciting. He was brilliant. It was exciting times in Washington."

[AP: Barbara Walters reveals past affair with US senator]

NYC Oversharer To Blame Internet For Her Misery

Bryan Christian — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:04:00 GMT

Normally we'd feel a litle weird about posting the picture of someone who's allegedly engaging in a secret office romance with a coworker. Like, we don't know who this person is, or what her story is, and God knows it's between her and her bedmate whatever happens between them. Except, as Gawker reports today, when she goes and blabs loudly about it at the airport, so that everyone getting on her plane knows her story, and the names of her friends, and how great they've been through it all, etc., etc.

In which case, we think that Little Miss Blabbermouth here loses any claim to privacy on the matter (and, as we learned on one of last night's TNT Law & Order reruns, the courts might actually agree with us). More importantly -- you, our beloved readers, deserve a reminder that, in this day and age, pretty much nothing in public counts as private.

So, is that Orwellian? Common phone ettiquette? Um... Pass!

PS: The Standing Room, the site that initially posted the woman's picture, has removed it from their site. Conscience or something less magnanimous? Who can say...