Scanner Highs and Lows: His You Know What is Too Small

Emily Farris — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:47:00 GMT

It was a busy week here at Scanner. We got a new URL, we thought a lot about boobs (big ones! Jessica Alba's!), we found some new furniture, and unfortunately, a few people died. Anyway, we're spent. But in case you missed any of it, here's a recap of Scanner's highs and lows for the week of January 14.

Highs:

Scanner now takes it from the front and back.

Abortion rates are lower than they've been in 30 years. Good news, even though we don't know why.

Jessica Alba's new rack.

We finally found the perfect spot from which to blog.

And if that doesn't work, this should do just fine.

We crushed hard on double amputees.

Lows:

Apple's new MacBook Air didn't measure up. (Scanner Emily likes it a little bigger.)

This should probably be a high, but since it was a low for him, Tom Cruise's C.R.A.Z.Y. Scientologist video.

We found out the twins-who-married story was probably just a bix hoax to push a conservative agenda.

And that Britney's breakdown may be a hoax to cover up a military agenda.

Brad Renfro died at the young age of 25.

Anna Wintour called Hillary Clinton "mannish." And it made Scanner Emily sad.

Crush of the Week: Double Amputee Athletes and Their Fancy Prosthetics

Bryan Christian — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:37:00 GMT

All right, let's get one thing out of the way: we totally agree with the the International Association of Athletics Federations. No one wearing $15,000 anythings should be allowed to use them in competition at the Olympics. We seem to remember something about the Olympics being for amateurs, and somehow we don't feel like cybernetically enhanced supersapiens really count. What's next? Wolverine in the UFC?

However, you're not here to read about the ethical complexities of international sports competitions, are you? No. So. Let's get to what really matters: how freaking hot are athletes wearing the carbon-fiber prosthetics known as Cheetahs? And check it, South African sprinter Oscar Pistorius -- who really does have the driving grace of a cheetah when he runs, except with slightly less of a chance that he'll devour you -- isn't even the first athlete we've been unable to keep our eyes off of because of their hardware. Perhaps fans of video artist Matthew Barney will remember the ravishing Aimee Mullins from her appearance as "the only pretty thing in Cremaster 3"? Or maybe from her stint as an Alexander McQueen model? We fell hard for her and her synthetic gams in one of the many photoshoots she did for Esquire, Dazed and Confused, and ID a few years back, and we've still got some of her clippings in our locker at home. (Yes, we have a locker at home.)

But you know, the coolest thing about Oscar and Aimee isn't that they're attractive or anything. It's that they put the standard dynamic between amputees and "normal" people into a total 180. As in: we love our feet and all, but goddamned if we wouldn't love to know what it's like to run in a pair of those.

And for that, they are our Crush of the Week.

Scanner : amputees

Scanner Highs and Lows: His You Know What is Too Small

Crush of the Week: Double Amputee Athletes and Their Fancy Prosthetics