Scanner : andy richter

While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge had her home broken into by two very bizarre young citizens. In surveillance footage, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from room to room... and back again... and again... without doing much of anything, let alone steal anything or set fire to the place.

Arrested Development: the Movie was finally greenlit, thanks to lazy-assed Michael Cera coming aboard.

This oh-so-adorable young lady was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend's nutsack. Prior to this incident, they had broken up "approximately 20 times," yet she seemed rather surprised to find that the dude had another ladyfriend over for the night.

We were all excited to hear Andy Richter would be rejoining Conan on TV, but it turns out he's just going to be the announcer. Guess Conan's enjoying his solo career.

Can a resident of the UK explain to us why so many Brits use "miles an hour" in their speech? Does it have something to do with the universal use of nautical miles? (Oh, and check out the video we just linked to. The 71-year-old dude quoted in it is our new personal hero.)

The Beatles recorded a version of "Revolution" that was only recently discovered and you really must hear it.

Is McDreamy really leaving the hospital on Grey's Anatomy?

And Maxim men of the world, rejoice: Megan Fox is single again. But before you get any ideas... guess which first name she has tattooed near her crotch? She wouldn't even have to deal with that pesky removal process if she just returned our calls...

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Did Obama Sell Out The Gays?

Scanner Matt — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:37:00 GMT

We understand Barack Obama's "team of rivals" cabinet strategy, but why is he giving the stage at his inauguration to a bigot who Scanner Brian has pointed out lately to be a "Christian nutjob" who, "favors assassination"? And may we add, actively hates gay people.

Politico reports Reverend Rick Warren, a key component of California's Prop 8 (or hate) campaign, will be performing the invocation at Obama's inauguration. Off course, this pissed off a lot of people:

“Your invitation to Reverend Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at your inauguration is a genuine blow to LGBT Americans,” the president of Human Rights Campaign, Joe Solomonese, wrote Obama Wednesday. “[W]e feel a deep level of disrespect when one of architects and promoters of an anti-gay agenda is given the prominence and the pulpit of your historic nomination.”

Obama's trying to throw the religious conservatives a bone, but did he have to pick this big fat evangelical dick?

We can only hope someone throws a shoe at Reverend Rick this January.

Also: Obama might be considering closing gays completely out of his cabinet. Wall Street Journal reports.

Related:

VIDEO 'Prop 8 - The Musical' starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, that Girl from 'Scrubs' and MORE!

Presidents Who Smoke: A Photo History

Is this guy the Barack Obama of the GOP? Um, no.

**Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!**

[image]

VIDEO 'Prop 8 - The Musical' starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, that Girl from 'Scrubs' and MORE!

Scanner Matt — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:48:00 GMT

Ever notice whenever celebrities get political (gays, abortion etc... ) the Christian right scoffs at these mere jesters of sodom and gomorrah, but if any one of them finds God, it's like the second coming of Mel Gibson? This is very funny, but where the hell were all these people one month and one day ago?

Video after the jump.

Prop 8 - The Musical, too little too late? Regardless, it is here now and makes its point and makes you laugh... oh, unless you hate gay people that is.

Ready Celebrities.......... Get Politically Satirical!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Scanner Matt Loves Michiko Kakutani

"Wet, Hot, American Summer"... the Musical?

Great Reviews of Bad Movies: Semi-Pro

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:18:00 GMT

In what is becoming all but a regular feature here on Scanner, today we'll look at some more hilariously vicious reviews of Hollywood movies in need of a good beating. Will Ferrell has had this one coming for a looong time...

FilmsInReview's Victoria Alexander rants about "Semi-Pro," the new Will Ferrell sports parody movie (what's next, dodgeball?!) opening today in far too many theaters to do this country any good:

The directing is terrible and, more important, it's not funny. Who edited out the funny stuff? I happen to love Ferrell's FunnyOrDie.com but no part of "Semi-Pro" would qualify for this internet site sensation. ...John C. Reilly has eclipsed him as the clueless megalomaniac middle-aged guy with a dream. Reilly makes a commitment, Ferrell is now hogging the limelight.

And, the keeper:

Who knew Woody Harrelson was (a) so short, (b) so obviously medicated, and (c) needed a paycheck?

Um, clearly Victoria has never seen a Woody Harrelson movie before... or ever seen Woody Harrelson.

Meanwhile, Ethan Alter from Film Journal International hails the basketball flick as:

“The Will Ferrell Show,” with the second-stringers—including such dependable scene-stealers as Harrelson, Will Arnett and Andy Richter—relegated to the sidelines, fighting for scraps.

Bob Blum in the Lafayette, IN Journal and Courier even goes after the movie for its easy-picking's title:

And what an apt title for a movie that looks like it was untouched by professional filmmakers.
What is most extraordinary about Semi-Pro is that someone actually provided money to produce it. The funding probably came from someone who did not-- could not-- read the script.

It would not be surprising if sports industry lobbyists descended on Washington demanding that Congress pass a measure outlawing Will Ferrell from starring in any more athletic-themed movies. The comedy is lower than lowbrow, it is stupid and inane.

It is questionable whether you can even classify Semi-Pro as a movie. Sure, it is on celluloid, but it lacks structure, coherence and any real point.

And finally, Salon's reviewer had this to say about Ferrell's character:

At one point a distraught Jackie Moon laments, "I just wish I could puke this all away." A good purge isn't a bad idea.

Scanner : andy richter

While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Hudson's Latest Prize

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Did Obama Sell Out The Gays?

VIDEO 'Prop 8 - The Musical' starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, that Girl from 'Scrubs' and MORE!

Presidents Who Smoke: A Photo History

Is this guy the Barack Obama of the GOP? Um, no.

**Bush: "People Voted For Barack Obama Because of Me" No sh*t!**

VIDEO 'Prop 8 - The Musical' starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, that Girl from 'Scrubs' and MORE!

eHarmony, Let The Gays Begin!

Scanner Matt Loves Michiko Kakutani

"Wet, Hot, American Summer"... the Musical?

Great Reviews of Bad Movies: Semi-Pro