Scanner : animals

Ginnifer Goodwin Talks Veganism, Wears Leather for "W"

Emily Farris — Tue, 12 May 2009 17:28:00 GMT

Ginnifer Goodwin, otherwise known as Margene the third Mormon wife on HBO's "Big Love," recently got all gussied up for the June issue of 'W.' She wanted to let everyone know she's nothing like Margene or like Gigi, her character in "He's Just Not That Into You." It was a good interview and the pictures (after the jump) in which Goodwin describes herself "as seemingly tough and hardened but always on the verge of falling apart” are gorgeous. In fact, the whole thing makes us like her more than we already do. Except we have one little problem with it. The story is supplemented with a blog post on Goodwin's recent turn to veganism. The actress says she did it for health reasons and also because of the way animals are treated at industrial farms.

So why then is she wearing...

"Versace’s leather jacket; Kiki de Montparnasse’s silk bra; Balenciaga by Nicolas Ghesquière’s viscose jersey briefs with attached leather belt. Yves Saint Laurent gloves; Falke hosiery."

Just wondering. We love hamburgers and leather handbags. So we can't hate on a girl. But she might piss off a few vegans with that get-up.

[W: Not So Goodwin]

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Maine Wood Frogs More Despreate For Sex Than We Are

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:59:00 GMT

It turns out that a colony of wood frogs in Maine are more desperate for sex than we are. The 2 to 2 1/2-inch frogs that quack like ducks are in some serious trouble. You see, once they come out of hibernation, the little guys and gals have what they call "Big Night." It's their annual spring mating ritual, and it generally coincides with the first warm spring rain. But up in northern Maine, their favorite orgy pool, "Club Amphibian" is still iced over. And it gets worse.

Unlike some of us who eat too much to make up for the fact that we haven't had sex in, say, five months, wood frogs cannot eat until they've mated.

"There's a little, little bit of open water around the edges, so the animals usually hang out around the edges, waiting to get in," Aram Calhoun, a University of Maine associate professor of wetland ecology and a wetland scientist for Maine Audubon in Orono, said. "Isn't that something? That must be depressing for a cold-blooded animal. You get to the edge of the pool, and the whole bloody thing is frozen and they're probably saying, 'I told you it was too early to go.' There will be a lot of salamander divorces this time of year," she said.

Salamanders, however, apparently have many years to breed while wood frogs need to make it happen. Now. "Wood frogs are explosive breeders, yet they only live 3 to 5 years, so they only have a couple of times, if that, to breed," Calhoun said. "So, they're very anxious. Much more than the salamanders, which live 15 to 20 years."

This might explain why wood frogs are so damn horny:

Salamanders gather congress-style - they all get in the pool together - and do a little courtship dance, and no one gets hurt. With wood frogs, it's not good to be a female. "It's not uncommon for the females to drown, because she has three or four males on top of her," Calhoun said.

Wood frogs are the only frogs she knows of that attempt to mate with non-frog species.To illustrate just how crazy wood frog sex can be, Calhoun's graduate student, Kevin J. Ryan, who is working on his study site in Canterbury, Conn., photographed a wood frog trying to mate with a salamander."We've had wood frogs mating with our data loggers," Calhoun said. "The data loggers, they're in little plastic containers and they're mating with the containers. They don't care. It's just something to put your arms around. It's been a long winter, you know?"

Oh, we know. It has been a long winter.

But back to the frogs... if "Club Amphibian" doesn't thaw soon, they'll most likely move onto a new orgy pool, which, as Calhoun points out, could result in many squished frogs in the road.

Godspeed, little wood frogs!

[Sun Journal: Driven to mate, frogs on the move to orgy pools]

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[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Emily Farris — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 23:01:00 GMT

The Obamas finally got a puppy. It wasn't a shelter dog (grr) but it sure is cute. [Yahoo!]

Madonna is still trying to adopt a child from Malwai. [Us]

It's posssssible that a hacker was responsible for the #amazonfail. [Vulture]

Fergie would like a baby in her. Right now. [FameCrawler]

Butt implants can be a real pain in the ass if you're having butt sex. Apparently. [ClayCane]

Scarlett Johansson (well, probably her assistant) is as annoyed with the media's obsession with weight and plastic surgery as we are. [The Huffington Post]

Speaking of if you're Keeping up with the Kardashians, you probably know that one of them is having plastic surgery. [The Remote Island]

Weird Animal News Of The Day: Pug Stuck In Toilet

Ina Maier — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:10:00 GMT

Sometimes we can't help but wonder why anyone bothers posting real news online. Pirates in Somalia? Who cares! This frog, like, totes ate a christmas light! The economy is in the crapper? Ha! So's this pug...and there's video! Take that, Geithner.

via TMZ & Buzzfeed, respectively.

Super Furry Animals Gather at a London Furry Convention

Cute & Cuter

Divorced Couple in Custody Battle Over Dog Semen

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:57:00 GMT

We've never had the desire to get a pet with a significant other (okay, maybe once). It's much better going into the relationship knowing whose pet is whose so that when the inevitable split comes, we at least have our furry friends—who love us unconditionally—to cuddle up to. A not-so-wise couple that divorced seven years ago were back in court this week fighting over a dog. Sort-of.

Karen Scully, who lives in Florida, and her ex-husband, Anthony Scully, who stayed in Michigan after the divorce, have gone before Michigan family court judge Cheryl Matthews to determine which of them is legally entitled to frozen semen belonging to Cyrus, Regg and Romeo—dogs.

The three dogs, all AKC-registered bullmastiffs, are apparently worth $2,000, making their spunk just as valuable.

In the end, the judge—who at first asked "I asked, 'Am I Being Punk'd? Is this a 'Candid Camera' thing?"—ruled that it was not a divorce matter and told the couple they would have to ruff it out in civil court. Except she did not make that terrible pun; we did.

[Freep.com: Battle over frozen dog sperm gives judge pause -- and paws]

Related:

A Very Important Annoucement from Scanner HQ or: Why Scanner Emily is No Longer on the Road to Becoming a Crazy Cat Lady

Who Does Depression Hurt? Everybody Except Women Taking Semen Vaginally, Says a New Study

Somebody Pass the Creamy Cum Crepes!

Semen Now Considered A Dangerous Weapon In Oregon

[Image]

Cute & Cuter

Colleen Kane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:00:00 GMT

Cute and Cuter is a simple but great idea for a Tumblr blog: it's just photos of cute guys with other cute things, like animals and toddlers. But for those of us who worked at Naked Man Magazine, it goes to illustrate the challenge of that job that cute is in the eye of the beholder.

For example...

In a few of the photos, we find neither party cute, but we don't want to single them out because they're real people, not celebs. In others, only the guy is cute (we don't care for the yipyip animals).

Some photos are cute only because of the non- (Jonas) boy element.

But some are cute & cuter.

Caption from Cute and Cuter: I cropped the beautiful woman he was with out of this, because this blog is not about cute couples.

Hell yes.

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Caption This: Amy Winehouse Really is Back in the Saddle

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:31:00 GMT

Winehouse in St. Lucia on Saturday, April 4.

Related: Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse is "Back in the Saddle"

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse is "Back in the Saddle"

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:34:00 GMT

That girl from Twilight will play Joan Jett in a still unnamed film about The Runaways. [AfterEllen]

The saddest thing we've seen all day: 11 extinct animals that have been photographed alive. [EcoWorldly]

The most depressing thing we've seen all day: the unfolding story of the hostage situation in Binghamton, NY. [CNN]

We (read: Scanner Emily) still need your 10 stars. Real bad. Because we need $200. Real bad. Pretty please? [MissedTees]

We (read: Scanner Collen) still need you to vote for our dream photography assignment. Because we also need $50,000. Real bad. Pretty please? [Name Your Dream Assignment]

Now all three of your Scanners are on Twitter, even though only one of us stays true to the Scanner name. [Scanner Emily, Scanner Colleen, Scanner Brian]

Remember yesterday when Madonna threw a party to celebrate an adoption that hadn't yet been approved? Um, yeah. Maybe not the best idea she ever had. [Us]

Apparently there was a fractured penis scene in last night's ER finale. Was it a swipe at Grey's Anatomy? [The Remote Island]

On April 11 Alternative Nation Countdown Takeover, a show on Sirius radio, will premiere new solo material from Rivers Cuomo that features Jason Schwartzman Rainn Wilson. Weird. Cool. [Rolling Stone]

According to a post on her MySpace blog this morning (obviously not written by her) Amy Winehouse is hard at work on her third album. We'll believe it when we hear it. Either way, we thought you'd enjoy seeing this picture again. [MySpace]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

Support a Scanner or Two

[Image, Image]

The First Thing We Needed First Thing This Morning

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:45:00 GMT

This stupid and hilarious video perfectly encapsulates our feelings this morning.

Since it's only 25 seconds long, we won't make this any longer than it has to be: Does that goat sound like Eddie Murphy doing Donkey's voice in Shrek or what? By the way, this also reminds us of what we used to hear through our former roommate's wall-- perhaps he was watching this on repeat?

Related:

Penis, Penis, Peanuts

Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

Sloppy Seconds: When DIY Sex Toys Do You Wrong

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:01:00 GMT

Women, would you cry at work? And do you think it would be good or bad for your career? Five women weigh in. [MarieClaire]

Men: if you want to live long enough to have sex in your old age, don't get fat. And no, it's not because women will find you less attractive. [CreativeLoafing]

Here's the trailer for "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." [SeriousEats]

We are all about high-powered sex toys, but attaching one to a saber saw (similar to a jig saw)? That just makes our vagina cringe in ways we never knew possible. Note to everyone: saws will saw through sex toys! Ouch! [BoingBoing]

Bruce Willis married his girlfriend Emma Heming in a private ceremony. [Yahoo!]

Matt Lauer was absent from the "Today" show this morning after an ill-fated run-in with a deer. Apparently, the NBC personality was riding his bike over the weekend when a deer jumped into his path, causing him to flip over the handlebars. [NYDN]

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PETA Celebrates Mother's Day With Caged Pregnant Ladies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

It was Mother's Day in the UK yesterday-- we guess Britain's Hallmark division couldn't wait any longer.

PETA hired or acquired a trio of pregnant ladies in London to do their dirty work... and by dirty work, we mean the literal kind. PETA asked the women to remain in a small cage for an undetermined length of time, their only movements to be crawling around on all fours. We're guessing it's not really harmful to the unborn to do this, although isn't it utterly freezing in the UK this week?

Jamie Oliver was also attacked last week for supporting "inhumane" pig farming in the UK. PETA stated: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian."

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The Saddest Thing You'll See All Day: A Horse That's Allergic to Grass

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 20:24:00 GMT

Pandora is a five-year-old thoroughbred who is allergic to grass. While other horses are running, jumping or grazing in the pasture, poor Pandora—who can develop boils and has trouble breathing if exposed to the green stuff—has to wear what amounts to the horse version of a snow suit a la "A Christmas Story."

Pandora's owner gives her special feed and 15 antihistamines a day to control the horses allergies, but she still has to run around in this ridiculous get up.

[Telegraph: She says 'neigh' to hay! Meet Pandora - the horse that's allergic to grass]

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Hot Naked Chicks

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:12:00 GMT

It's not what you think. (Or is it?)

When Scanner Emily and I arrived at SXSW here in Austin, Tejas, we ended up staying with a couple of people who lived-- literally, as they said-- on the wrong side of the tracks on the wrong side of town. But their house was amazing-- stone walls, high ceilings, loft beds, LCD projectors, libraries, a garden, an office, and multiple bedrooms.

The best part of all was this...

Yes, they are raising baby chickens-- not for the slaughter, but because of all the delicious eggs they lay.

God bless Texas.

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The Pink Dolphin Sounds a Lot Dirtier Than it Really Is

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:33:00 GMT

The pink dolphin is popping up again.

Do not adjust your, um, monitor? From The Telegraph:

The world's only pink Bottlenose dolphin which was discovered in an inland lake in Louisiana, USA, has become such an attraction that conservationists have warned tourists to leave it alone.

Charter boat captain Erik Rue, 42, photographed the animal, which is actually an albino, when he began studying it after the mammal first surfaced in Lake Calcasieu, an inland saltwater estuary, north of the Gulf of Mexico in southwestern USA.

Capt Rue originally saw the dolphin, which also has reddish eyes, swimming with a pod of four other dolphins, with one appearing to be its mother which never left its side.

He said: "I just happened to see a little pod of dolphins, and I noticed one that was a little lighter.

"It was absolutely stunningly pink.

"I had never seen anything like it. It's the same color throughout the whole body and it looks like it just came out of a paint booth.

"The dolphin appears to be healthy and normal other than its coloration, which is quite beautiful and stunningly pink.

"The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating its albinism. The skin appears smooth, glossy pink and without flaws.

[Telegraph: Pink dolphin appears in US lake]

[Blue Dolphin via Babeland]

A Very Important Annoucement from Scanner HQ or: Why Scanner Emily is No Longer on the Road to Becoming a Crazy Cat Lady

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:22:00 GMT

Scanner readers, if you'll allow me to get personal for a moment, I'd like you to meet Jack:

I took my own advice and adopted him from a local shelter on Friday. After our first weekend together, we're in love. If you've noticed my absence from Scanner for the past few working days, blame it on Jack. Currently, I have a hard time turning down his puppy dog eyes when he walks over to my desk with a tennis ball in his mouth.

(For the record, that futon is not my couch. That is now Jack's hangout, in my office. I just wanted to clear that up.)

Related:

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Today In "Stoned People Do Stupid Things"...

Ina Maier — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:00:00 GMT

What do you get when you put a man, a hyper cat, marijuana, and a bong in one room? The answer may surprise you.

Here's the man:

Here's the cat:

And here's the teeny, tiny, 12 inch by 6 inch home-made bong into which he stuffed her:

According to the AP, "Schomaker told deputies 6-month-old Shadow was hyper and he was trying to calm her down." And apparently it worked:

"This cat was just dazed," Sgt. Andy Stebbing said. "She was on the front seat of the cop car, wrapped in a blanket, and never moved all the way to the humane society."

We know we don't have to tell you to, uh, NOT try this at home.

In other news: A cat adopted a litter of puppies! Whee!

[via]

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming The Crazy Cat Lady

PETA Gives Up, Decides to Just Have All-Stripper Campaigns

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 17:29:00 GMT

PETA has unveiled its latest ad campaign. No, it doesn't involve celebrities prancing around in the buff. No, it doesn't involve random overzealous protesters prancing around in the buff.

For the first time ever, PETA has used professional naked people for its print campaign...

The girls of Rick's Cabaret are getting naked... and not for tips.

[T]he new "We'd rather go topless than wear Fur" advertisement featur[es] seven topless vixens from Rick's Cabaret, the only publicly-traded chain of gentlemen's clubs.

"Compassion is a big turn-on, but fur-wearers leave me cold," says Alicia, one of the women featured. "By showing some of our skin, we hope to save animals' skins." [Radar]

Is anyone ever convinced by these ads? Will there be more vegetarians or more customers at the nation's Rick's Cabarets as a result of this ad?

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Everything You Never Wanted to Know About "Horrific Beetle Sex"

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:40:00 GMT

We should probably preface this by letting you know that the article that sparked this post is called "Horrific beetle sex: why the most successful males have the spikiest penises."

So, why is it that the most successful males have the spikiest penises? A possible answer and a terrifying picture after the jump.

According to the blog, Not Exactly Rocket Science, Mother Nature graced the male seed beetle with that monstrosity to the right—which obviously injures the female seed beetle—because:

It's possible that the injuries directly benefit the males, either because they stop the females from mating again or spend more efforts in raising their fertilised eggs to avoid the strain of future liaisons.

The alternative is that the spikes could give the males an edge in "sperm competitions", where they compete with rivals not through direct combat, but through fertilising as many eggs as possible. In this theory, the spines are important for winning these competitions, and the wounds they inflict are simply a nasty side-effect.

Sounds a little like some men we know: beating up their women so they'll be in no shape for another man. We can't imagine seed beetles care about monogomy, though, so we're going to go with the second "sperm competition" theory. (But what do we know about beetle sex? Absolutely nothing.)

Also, you've heard of a fluffer right? Well, to find out exactly what a bettle penis looked like, two lucky scientists got to fluff some male beetles:

The duo studied beetles taken from 13 countries across the tropics, from Brazil to the USA, and from Nigeria to Oman. The genitals of these different populations are very varied and to study them under a microscope, Hotzy and Arnqvist first had to fluff their subjects. They anaesthetised the males with carbon dioxide, and erected their penises with an "artificial inflater" - a microscopic plastic tip connected to a pump. Under a microscope, they measured the length of the longest spines and the size of the entire spine-bearing area.

Even after examining the males and females, however, scientists are still unsure of why the male beetle has a penis covered in spikes.

Luckily, for the female seed beetle, she can hold her own. She apparently has a huge amount of connective tissue lining her sexual tracts, so that whatever terrible sexual act the male beetle performs on her, she's not affected too badly. And (this is awesome) when she's had enough, she kicks the male until he lets go, it gets him to cum faster and get that spiky shaft the fuck out of her beetle juice.

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Isabella Rossellini Does Bug Porn

This Is One Squirrel You Do Not Want To F*ck With

Ina Maier — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 22:40:00 GMT

If there's one thing you learn today, its that you should never, ever, mess with a park squirrel. Unfortunately, this doggie had to learn his lesson the hard way. Check out what happened when Sparky dared to come between a nutso mother squirrel and her itty-bitty baby...

[via]

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Sloppy Seconds: Evan Rachel Wood Isn't the Only One Tapping That

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:11:00 GMT

Holy hot lesbian, Batwoman. No, really! Batman's replacement is a batchick who loves chicks. Awesome. [Broadsheet/Salon]

Not cool: dudes who rape dogs. [Plog]

Cool: the anti-theft lunch bag. [ThinkOfThe]

Today in stuff I absolutely hate to admit is true: the butterfly effect, in which your ex boyfriend gets his shit together and starts dating a girl hotter than you after you break up. [New York Observer]

Okay, I don't know if girl on boy tapping can happen, but that's not the point. This is: Are Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love the best couple ever or the worst copule ever? [Vulture]

Oh, and I totally emailed Judah Friedlander for a date when I'm back in New York at the end of the month. Stay tuned to see if he bites. [TONY]

When Re-Touchers Get a Little Magic Wand Happy We All Suffer, Especially Scanner Emily

[Image]

With Headlines Like These Who Needs Stories?

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 19:19:00 GMT

If it happened in a Kansas Walmart, you know it has to be good...

Man Arrested For Masturbating In Shawnee Walmart Toy Aisle

The complete story:

SHAWNEE, KAN. - A man was arrested Thursday night after witnesses said he masturbated in the toy aisles at a Shawnee Walmart.

Lt. Bill Hisle with Shawnee Police said employees saw the man in the store on W 65th Street and he was taken into custody.

Did we really even need to bother with those two wee sentences?

Wait! There's more!

Lawrence Man Arrested For Animal Cruelty, Sodomy

Find that story here.

[Fox4 via Plog]

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Today's Topless PETA Roundup

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 16:22:00 GMT

The fact that these topless PETA roadshows are getting fewer and fewer press hits might mean the animal rights group-- which, incidentally, euthanizes 90% of the animals in its care on an annual basis-- is on its last legs...

(Speaking of legs, don't ya kind of wish the girl on he right, whose name is apparently Virginia Fort, was the one half-naked and writhing on the ground? There's a lame and possibly offensive joke about her having a fortified "virgine," a la Borat, but we're too in love with her right now to bother.)

These ladies got in trouble with the law yesterday in Greenville, South Carolina when they should have been at home, worshiping President Obama. Then again, we're pretty sure they didn't get led away in cuffs, so score one for free speech.

On the other side of the world, Sydney, Australia today again proved that it remains PETA's #1 city for naked protesting, with this rather more effective campaign equating carnivorism with, well, cannibalism.

Top two photos via yesterday's Greenville, SC Online-- more here. Sydney photos via Flickr.

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PETA..blah blah...Sea Kittens...blah blah...MAKE YOUR OWN!

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Everybody Stay Calm and Think Positive Thoughts

Colleen Kane — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:48:00 GMT

Patrick Swayze, who has stage 4 pancreatic cancer, revealed to Barbara Walters in his first post-diagnosis TV interview that he likely has only have two years to live, and five years is "wishful thinking."

And so it's time for everyone to get together like the citizens of Whoville and think good thoughts together for the Swayz. For inspiration, let's recall the many looks of Swayze.

Horse-huggin' hunk

Pensive

Pensive with hay

Laughing times with leopard

So you can see why he appeals to tha layties who grew up in the 80s (and older). He was a walking Tiger Beat page. But dudes should not forget his throat-tearing-out move in Roadhouse and the fact that in real life he is basically trying to walk off his cancer by working without painkillers. Y'all should be so manly.

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Memo to the Telegraph: If You Cover Up, You're Not Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:50:00 GMT

The above photo of Marisa Miller is advertised as a "nudie pic." We're pretty sure she's actually naked under that iPod (a great Christmas gift, by the way!), but we have to question the supposed nudity in this shot of five young students of Cambridge University...

Okay, sure, they're probably nekkid (although they're all wearing boots and the girl on the far left clearly has shorts or underwear on), but what about the fact that these damn lambs keep getting in the way? They may be naked, but is this technically a "nude photo?"

This was a photo shoot the five Cambridge University gals did for a charity calendar, being sold for nine English pounds (coincidentally their combined body weight), which is for blah blah blah a Veterinary Hospital blah blah.

Photo via the Telegraph.

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eHarmony, Let The Gays Begin!

Scanner Matt — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:46:00 GMT

eHarmony, the online matchmaking site that infamously rejected the gay community (and Scanner Emily) now begrudgingly offers their services to love-seeking homosexuals (but not Emily).

After numerous lawsuits, eHarmony will be forced to service gays and lesbians (zing!). The AP reports that this is, in particular, due to a 2005 settlement in a suit filed by Eric McKinley of New Jersey who demanded not to be subject to discrimination when he was prevented from joining the site because he was gay.

But eHarmony couldn't actually let the gays use their site. The company has created a new agency (We know, it’s all very “Separate but Equal”) so passionately titled, Compatible Partners (we were expecting eCacophony) will launch this March, just in time for Valentine’s Day to be long gone.

Jerks.

Related:

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Photo: The Consumerist

Video of the Day: Sarah Palin Talks to the Press, Picks Out a Bloody Turkey

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:14:00 GMT

Earlier this week former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave an interview to a local TV station. Do you think she had any idea that turkeys were being slaughtered right behind her and in full view of the camera?

Video after the jump...

Related:

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Who Would You Rather: Nude Sarah Palin vs. Nude Sarah Palin...

Caged Heat: PETA Takes Topless Roadshow To Louisiana

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 14:20:00 GMT

The People For Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals has invaded Shreveport, Louisiana, and they have a message for you meat-eating hicks. No, wait, they have a message for you circus-going hicks.

In other news: circuses still exist...

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals staged the event — meant to coincide with upcoming local Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Baily circus stops — at the northwest corner of Texas and Edwards streets.

“Many people were baffled to see what goes on behind the scenes at a circus,” said Virginia Fort, a PETA paid staffer. She said the dozens who stopped to look or take photos was a good turnout.

PETA made a stop Tuesday in Alexandria.

“They shouldn’t treat them bad,” said Jody Abbitt, who works downtown and took photos of protester Christina Dang, 22, of Michigan. Dang crouched in a cage below signs saying animals should be free.

Whom shall they not treat badly, Jody Abbitt? The animals or the protestors? Either way, you're right, Jody: it's terrible to see what goes on backstage-- those poor bikini-clad or topless women are caged and told to visit Louisiana.

Oh, right, naked women are supposed to represent... tigers. Or something. Seriously-- this an, um, pet issue for us as well. Check out the video:

Top photo via KFC Protest (obviously.) Video, story, and additional photo via this link.

PETA Gets Women's Clothes Off Faster Than a $50 Bill at the Bunny Ranch

PETA: Public Nudity Didn't Work, Let's Try Public Showering...

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 30-21

While You Were Sleeping: Bailon To Do Playboy For 100G's?

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Presidential Candidate Dogs Annoy The Sh*t Out Of Us

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:26:00 GMT

After 4,000 votes, the above-pictured dog was named the winner of the "My Dog Looks Like Obama" photo competition.

While we understand that dog lovers can't control their urges to share their boring candids with the rest of us, there's something that sticks in our collective craws about these pics...

And wait till you see the McCain lookalike winner...

The Obama winner, first off, is Amore Francine of Mt. Clemens, MI, a boxer weighing a mere 52 pounds. (Insert Cassius Clay joke here.) Amore, by the way, couldn't give a cat's ass about his latest triumph, insisting that he has no opinion on the US Presidential race: "Whichever one keeps me in the most red balls and spikes my water bowl with J&B, that's the one I lick-- er, like-- the best."

And here's your "My Dog Looks Like McCain" winner... and some equally brutal runners up:

Now that's more like it. (The others, plus more about this silly contest, can be found here.)

Upside Down Dogs Freak Us the F*ck Out

McCain May Have Committed Vehicular Manslaughter in 1964

More Girls Say "Yes"

Vote Girl: Disenfranchised

Playboy's Presidential Sex Quiz A Welcome Distraction From Boring Obama Stories

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Pregnant Ladies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:50:00 GMT

Jeff Mangum, who wrote and performed the biggest cult indie album of all time, In The Aeroplane Over the Sea, returned to the stage but did not work up the nerve to do any of his own songs.

A raid in Tennessee netted 19 female prostitutes and two transvestites.

You heard what happened on South Park last week, right? Yeah, but did you hear about the show's ratings?

South Park beat George Lucas at his own pervy game Wednesday with its already-infamous "Indy rape" episode — the show's highest-rated fall premiere in nine years. Paradoxically, this must mean Indiana Jones 5 will be green-lit within the hour... [Defamer]

Not a fan of giraffes? You will be after this super cute photo spread?

Good news, everyone: Scotland has given you the okay to have a drink while pregnant.

Matthew Shepherd was murdered ten years ago Sunday.

John McCain, who vowed to "whip [Obama's] ass" at the third and final debate this Wednesday, has confirmed he will appear on David Letterman's show the following evening. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin's appearance on SNL is no longer a "done deal."

The national debt is freaking some people out. Especially when they see it (literally) growing before their eyes.

And the favorite face of tabloid readers is no longer Jennifer Aniston... it's Brad Pitt's former "other woman," seen above...

Ironically, Brad Pitt's former wife Jennifer Aniston, who topped the list in 2007, came in second. Jolie won in all Forbes categories - for sales, likability and most covers. [Starpulse]

Video of the Day: Dana Carvey Returns To TV

While You Were Sleeping: Angelina Jolie's Breastfeeding Cover

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Bad Movies

Cooking With Your Balls

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:23:00 GMT

If you didn't scream bloody (bollocks) murder reading the title and seeing that pic, you'll probably enjoy this one...

Those crazy Serbs... they eat monkey brains and lick cigarettes for the protein... or something. Seriously though, it turns out they eat balls-- as in, they cook and chew them... yikes.

The book, the first all-testicle cookbook, is thankfully only available electronically, which means you won't be seeing this in the window of Barnes and Noble or its author pleasuring himself on Oprah. It's available here and features the following highlights:

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

I will not! Oh, wait... author and so-called "chef" Ljubomir Erovic is talking about the nutsacks of pigs, ostriches, bulls (surprise) and, of course, stallions. Erovic is pretty proud of himself-- proclaiming his inventions of Testical Pizza and Barbecued Testicles were revolutionary moments in food. Thanks, Ljub, but we'll stick with hot dogs and foie gras when we're up for eating a disgusting part of an animal.

The e-book, available for download from the internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks. [News.com.au]

There's video of this?! Oh no, we cannot let that stand. Don't buy this book! (Available here.)

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