Scanner : anus

Exploding Office Chair Kills Man, Um, Anally

Emily Farris — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:25:00 GMT

You do the math. Oh, right, this doesn't really make sense does it? Let us try to offer you a bit of an explanation.

According to Gizmodo:

A 14-year-old boy in China was killed when his chair exploded, sending chunks of metal into his rectum. The bleeding this caused killed him. The alleged explosion came from the gas cylinder that was in the base of the chair, the part that allowed the user to adjust the seat up and down.

Is this even POSSIBLE?

[Gizmodo: Boy Killed Anally When Office Chair Explodes]

Related:

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

Because We're Twisted: The World's 10 Most Ironic Deaths

Sloppy Seconds: Courtney Love's Bizarre Death Rant

Man Commits Suicide by Stabbing Himself in the What?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

This may be the craziest way to die we've ever heard.

Experts say it's very shocking when someone, as in the case of singer Elliot Smith, commits suicide by knife because of how painful and prolonged the plunge can be. (We promise the story we're about to tell is much more subdued than that graphic sentence.) That kind of self-inflicted stabbing has nothing on what one Chinese man did to himself...

A very confusing report out of China indicates a man was admitted to the hospital due to some sort of poisoning fear. There may also have been some external bleeding. X-rays soon revealed that the man had a knife inside his body and that the knife had entered through his... yeah, we won't finish that sentence lest you vomit. According to the man's nephew, the victim shoved the knife up his anus in an attempt to kill himself, likely over an outstanding debt from a recent surgery and a generally rough life.

The report seems to say he survived and made a full recovery, then goes on to talk about how he's deceased. We can only speculate that the one odd paragraph (about his survival) is incorrect or was supposed to be updated, while the rest of the story is accurate. Or maybe some bored Chinese newspaper made all this up and we're falling for it.

Either way, we've finally found the story that trumps the anal absurdity of the woman about the vicar admitted to an English hospital with a potato up his butt.

Related:

Vicar Happened to Be Naked When He Fell On the Potato... With His Ass

Today in "How'd That Get Up There?"

Female Reverend Banned From Preaching After Drunken Swingers Weekend

The Incredible, Edible Anus is Way Too Popular for Its Own Good

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Is this the opposite of food porn?

We're assuming that the online shop for Bisus Chocolates is closed due to demand being greater than supply, because who wouldn't want to eat chocolates in the shape of an asshole?

These chocolates are created with one thing on our mind: to produce a combination of taste and touch that takes you to chocolate anus heaven.

Yum! But for those rather preserve their assholes, may we present the limited-edition silver-plated asshole?

55 grams of hallmarked silver, cradled in a magnificent presentation box and exquisitely crafted into that most sensuous of body parts: a unique, elegant and thought-provoking gift. Edition of 100 (edition # engraved)

People come and people go. Our solid silver anus is immune from the daily wear and tear that similar products experience. A quality product immortalised in silver…for the man who has everything.

Don't believe us? Go to edibleanus.com and find out for yourself.

[Edible Anus via YBNBY]