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Hey, Cheap Rent! Oh, Wait... The Fine Print Is Pretty Insane...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:45:00 GMT

How many of you would move to Manhattan if you landed an apartment for less than $3,000 a month? Now, how many of you would take the place if it was in the happening East Village for $325, rent stabilized?

Put your hands down, because as you may have suspected, this one's a ripoff even at those prices...

This is a post we came across on Craig's List (to our friends out there who are reading this-- no, we're not moving-- but Good God, if this had been for real, we would be breaking leases left and right to make it happen). (Emphasis added.)

$325 EAST VILLAGE- Controlled and large 3 bed (East Village) (map)

-Wow…I can’t believe I am doing this..But I am looking for someone to rent my rent controlled apartment. The monthly rent is extremely cheap and would be a dream for many people in this city. It is in the east village close to A and 3rd. I caught my wife in bed with our neighbor who is almost 20 years younger than her. She is refusing to move out and still seeing him when I am at work, on my bed…I need someone to move in and help me get her out. Man or woman. My plan is to act like we are a couple until she can’t take it anymore. I have done everything possible to try and get her out..But she is a scumbag….So we need to create some type of plan that would get her out..i would charge you very cheap and all you would have to do is act like we are dating. We might have to kiss if front her and make fake sounds when we are in the bedroom. Please respond with a detailed description of your plan to get her out and a little about your self. You could live there after she is out and unless we fall in love we don’t have to do anything else.

Right... you don't have to do anything else. Wow-- we knew that some people too breakups a little hard and rebounds with unwarranted seriousness, but Holy Christ-- this is worse than those ads that start "I'm a downtown businessman with no time for a girlfriend; so, if you want to be my roommate, I only have one requirement: wear this French maid outfit at all times..."

Via Craig's List.

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Three Beauty Queens Walk Into a Rental Office....

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 15:09:00 GMT

What's life in an apartment full of beauty queens like? Well, if you, like us, imagine hell to have pink walls and stuffed animals everywhere, we'd say it's probably kind-of hellish. But if the idea of living in a 50's sitcom is appealing, come on in.

Miss Universe, Miss USA and Miss Teen USA share an apartment in Midtown Manhattan. And if you'd think it's full of cat fights or topless pillow fights or at least a little Hills action, think again.

What do these three bicker over?

Scone crumbs, that's what.

One morning, Miss USA rolled her eyes at Miss Teen USA as she used a napkin as a plate for her breakfast scone so she wouldn't have to wash a dish.

Piqued by the scorn from her fellow pageant winner, Perry responded with a little gossip about Stewart.

"Did you know that she almost caught the house on fire?" she says, referring to an incident involving a chicken pot pie and the microwave.

Unfortunately, folks. That. Is. All.

[NYDN: At home with the Misses: How 3 beauty queens share one apartment]

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People Sets the Record Straight About Mary-Kate Olsen's Link to Heath Ledger at the Time of His Death, And It's Not That Exciting

Emily Farris — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:47:00 GMT

When Ledger's masseuse showed up at his apartment to give him a massage and he was unresponsive, she used the speed dial on Ledger's phone to call Olsen. The masseuse apparently knew they were friends and thought this was the right thing to do. So there.

[People: Mary-Kate Olsen's Link to Heath Ledger Case]