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Nude Night Invades Florida

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:36:00 GMT

The peaceful small town of Orlando, Florida was considering going to bed early on Saturday when word began to spread among the populace: "Dude, you're going to miss Naked Night 2009!"

According to its website, Nude Night "is a juried art exhibition with hundreds of artists celebrating the body beautiful by creating a bazaar-like atmosphere of artistic talents not only in photographs and paintings, but also in live body painting, sensual performances, shapely sculpture and experimental installations." When you're done catching your breath, here's the layman's version: it's a shitton of nude art and several hundred leering guests.

The evenings begin with cocktails and DJs blasting out lounge music, while patrons peruse the immobile art projects. Later on, performers leap to the stage to offer "interpretations on the theme," according to the website. (See above photos.)

In case this sounds like your ideal evening out, don't despair, for the Nude Night art fair will hit Tampa this coming weekend, starting on Thursday and running through Saturday. Don't miss it... and remember to e-mail us a link to your Twitter pics.

Via their website. Top photo via the Orlando Sun-Sentinel.

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Agyness Deyn Looks Even More Like A Boy In Sketch Form

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Ever wanted to see nude drawings of Agyness Deyn, Karl Lagerfeld and Donatella Versace?

Us neither, but they're after the jump anyway...

The point of these semi-nudes? We're not sure, although they are all drawings for Grazia Daily, a UK-based publication, and by Henry Holland. Holland, an artist/designer/fashion person, is widely recognized as the man who discovered Deyn, a feat of historic and earth-shaking proportions.

Photo via the Bosh.

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"This Is The City's Response To A Penis" One of Many Classic Moments From Nude Gallery Raid

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 13:45:00 GMT

As Lou Reed would say, "My week beats your year!"

You'd have had a hard time finding a wilder good time on Friday than the opening night party of St. Petersburg, Florida's Erotic Lounge, which ended in arrests, tears, and a giant penis.

1) The police in St. Petersburg receive a call from a whiny, busybody neighbor regarding a giant penis statue that has been placed in front of the Erotic Lounge, an art gallery.

2) Police arrive and see that there is a penis sculpture, probably seven or eight feet tall, in front of the entrance. They ask the gallery owner to remove his schlong, he refuses, citing its artistic value. Invariably, the cops cannot think of a city ordinance or state law this dick violates, so they leave.

3) Like the sheriff chasing Burt Reynolds in "Smokey and the Bandit," the cops refuse to let a little legality get in the way of cleaning up Florida's increasingly conservative culture. They return later in the evening, with the party in full swing and see, through the glass doors, a nude man suspended from the ceiling in a harness. A sergeant tries to charge through the front door without a permit, the owner tries to block his way, gets tackled by other cops, and is instantly arrested.

4) The cops raid and shut down the party, telling everyone there was a liquor violation and asking to see IDs.

5) Meanwhile, the nude man who is deaf and possibly mentally retarded, does not understand what is going on. He is immediately arrested the "model," as the man called himself, for violating the city rule barring genitals from being in the same room with booze. While being cuffed, the nude man began to cry. "He'll be okay. Misdemeanor charge," an officer told one of the man's friends.

6) The police search turned up the following:

The walls of the gallery were covered in erotic images. One painting depicted Superman in underwear with an erect penis.
Attached to a bathroom door of cloth were signs reading: "Human petting zoo," "Tipping allowed & encouraged," and "Dare to explore." Police said they found a man in his underwear inside the bathroom but nothing illegal.

7) The cop who conducted the raid was interviewed afterwards and asked how he figured out in advance that the gallery was serving alcohol before he kicked the door in to get at the naked man. (In other words, what's your probable cause, since the fact that there was a naked man isn't enough?) His answer:

Collins said the police began an investigation Friday night after hearing that the gallery was displaying genitals while serving alcohol. He would not specify how they knew, saying he wouldn't reveal an investigative tactic.
But because the business has a liquor license, police have a right of entry and don't need probable cause to go inside, Collins said. [Then why didn't you say that first? Hmm... - Ed.]

8) Meanwhile, outside the front door, owner Bill Schramm was being taken into custody, saying:

"Oh, my God," said... Schramm, his glasses falling off in the scuffle. "This is the city's response to a penis. That's fabulous."

Florida: fabulous indeed. Read more, via the St. Petersburg Times.

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Artist's Penis Commits World's Largest Indecent Exposure

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 14:30:00 GMT

Unfortunately for lovers of the penis, the actual artifact is not the largest penis ever publicly exposed: it's the size of the penis once it becomes the subject of Jaime del Val's Madrid artwork...

Your old-fashioned flasher usually hides away in shady parks wearing a dirty old raincoat but a Spanish 'artist' has no such shame - he projects his penis on buildings.

Jaime del Val wanders the streets of Madrid naked but for camera equipment attached to his genitals.

He shows off his penis because he says it's a "means of power".
He has staged his "performance" in front of Almudena Cathedral and at the Royal Palace in Madrid.

Here's a website with some of Jamie de Val's work, none of it nude, from what we could see. Meanwhile, as David Niven might say, "Isn't it fascinating to think, that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life, is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings!"

Heads up! Money shot approaching...

Via Metro. If anyone has a picture of the artwork in action, we'd love to add it to this post. For now, these pics will do...

Magazine Fights Censorship With Nude Six-Year-Old Cover Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:01:00 GMT

An Art Monthly Australia cover that starred a nude six-year-old girl, an attempt to protest child pornography laws that some consider "artist censorship," has been deemed criminal and sent to the Australian Classification board... of censors.

Art Monthly Australia published the photo in response to government raids and the seizures of the photographs of artist Bill Henson, who frequently presents "tasteful" nudes of underage children. The magazine, which receives $50,000 in taxpayer funds every year, is now facing possible collapse after the typical righteous political outcry.

[The issue] also includes several provocative photos of children posing naked in adult jewellery as well as naked teenage girls.

Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell labelled the publication a "provocative publicity stunt" and called for a review of Arts Council's funding for the magazine.

In the editorial, Maurice O'Riordan said he chose the 2003 picture of the young girl in the "hope of restoring some dignity to the debate" and to "validate nudity and childhood as subjects for art".

The image, taken by Melbourne-based Polixeni Papapetrou, is believed to be her own daughter. [Daily Telegraph]

While we hope that Australians will see right through this political posturing at the expense of creative freedom, we know better than to expect intelligent reactions to any publication that dares to defy community standards.

For more, check out the original story at The Daily Telegraph.

Today in Porn Art: Rock Formation Artist Weirdo

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:30:00 GMT

And now... Earth Porn??

Heather Firth is an artist, or so she claims. She takes pictures of strange ecological/sexual formations for her website "Earth Erotic." Wait till you see some of these hilariously awful artifacts, in full...

Is that a butthole, a rock, or the end of an uncooked pork sausage link? (By the way, this photo? $800. $8-0-0. Yep.)

We're waiting for someone to send us the road sign that directed Firth to "The World's Hardest Penis" in Sedona, AZ. Seriously, how the hell does she find this weird shit? (And, more importantly, how the hell does she get away with selling these for $200 for an 8-by-ten?)

For more Firth/filth; links via AwfulLinkOfTheDay.

Exclusive: Photos of the Gay Jesus Last Supper Orgy Exhibit

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:35:00 GMT

"Our country can do without scribblers and agitators like Hrdlicka." So says a guestbook entry at Vienna, Austria's Dommuseum, parked next to a church and owned by the city's archdiocese. The uproar?

Alfred Hrdlicka, is celebrating his 80th birthday this year with a retrospective of his art at the Dommuseum, although various Catholics and censors are outraged that Jesus is depicted in one drawing as having some sort of crudely-rendered orgy after a wine-soaked Last Supper. And here we were thinking that it was usually a Gladiator battle and grapes on a vine that kickstarted a good old-timey sexfest....

(The offending images are including below; they are unavailable elsewhere due to the museum having taken down the most objectionable drawing.)

There are other drawings, including one of Jesus getting groped while nailed to the cross, all included in the following video.

Hrdlicka defended himself by saying that there were no women in Leonardo's rendering of the Last Supper, so he just had to depict men doing the pleasuring of other men. That's about as convincing as the following statement on how taking the picture down is not censorship:

The museum took down the Last Supper piece at Cardinal Schoenborn's request just over a week after the 'Religion, Flesh and Power' exhibition opened, leaving a blank black wall at the entrance to the display.

"This has nothing to do with censorship, rather corresponds with the understood "reverence for the sacred," the Cardinal's spokesman said in a statement.

Via the AP.

Stripper Pole Brailled For Art's Pleasure

Bryan Christian — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:25:00 GMT

Hmmmm... Although we admire the artistic conceit here -- embossing a gentlemen's club fixture with a Braille description of a striptease, thus assigning a tactile narrative to something that is often beyond the reach of its audience -- we also can't get past the fact that artists Anetta Mona Chisa & Lucia Tkacova have basically created the world's most diseased-looking stripper pole. Or maybe that's part of the gag?

Fleshbot Examines Yet Another Smut Site With a Dubious Business Plan

Bryan Christian — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Hey, anybody out there been using Zivity, a subscriber-based upscale smut site that's curently in that nebulous state known as "beta testing"? They're posing themselves as "the HBO of the Web” -- and getting a bit of investor cash in the process -- but we ain't drinking the Kool-Aid just yet, and neither is Fleshbot.

According to insidery Valley blog Techcrunch, the site will remain in "private beta" mode until at least 2009, but has already secured $8 million in private financing. When it does eventually go public, it will pay the models and photographers who generate the most interest based on user votes ... but not with that $8 mil. That money will come from user subscription fees, since you will have to pay to look at and vote on content.

... and of course, you can guess where this going: who's gonna pay for boobies when they're everywhere online for free? We'd like to put it another way: how is HBO possibly a model for a website when it's fundamentally a different business scenario? If we had to purchase access to 100 websites at a time, then yeah, we might consider a package that had high-class smut like this. But since it don't work that way (yet)... well, let's just say we're pretty skeptical too. Not that we're not open to perhaps having an open-minded look with one of those beta testing accounts... (hint hint).

Previously: Like Wal-Mart for Boobies, Porn.com Now Open for Business