Scanner : ashley alexandra dupree

Sloppy Seconds: The Next Ashley Alexandra Dupre Scandal Begins

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:20:00 GMT

A nine-year-old girl successfully sued her parents to break away from her birth name. You will be astounded to hear what it was... although at least it wasn't Benson or Hedges (a pair of twins) or, better yet, Number 16 Bus Shelter, all of which are real.

The most famous penis in the world is now 17.

50 Cent is suing Taco Bell. That's all you need to know.

Bill O'Reilly's boneheaded racism has drown the wrath of Nas, who is set to appear on The O'Reilly Factor.

McCain is gaining on Obama in four key swing states.

A seventy-two-year-old woman is the oldest new mother in the world today after giving birth to twins. Owwww...

Anyone out there read Daily Candy? Somebody must be subscribed to it, since it's selling to Comcast for in the neighborhood of $75 million.

And Ashley Alexandra Dupre was spotted entering (and leaving) the Gramercy Park Hotel after a 24-hour tryst with a married man. Is she still hooking or did Ashley find love with an asphalt millionaire? At this point, we're beyond caring.

The pretty woman, 23, and 35-year-old Thomas J. "TJ" Earle were spied ducking into the Gramercy Park Hotel, where they rented a room Tuesday after a long day drinking, dining, shopping and snuggling together in limos around the Big Apple, sources told The Post.

Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which Our Minds Are Blown

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:27:00 GMT

Bleebloobloop. So much happened this week our brains are on overload. We're about to crash. Go see for yourself what we mean.

Highs:

We saw lots of boobies at the Mermaid Parade.

Is there anything better than the Princess Bride lightsaber battle?

Possibly only the Pipecleaner Dance.

A stranded hiker used her bra to save her own life.

We had a little visit from our old friend Ashley Alexandra Dupre.

We composed a haiku or two for our old friend Salon Sarah Hepola.

This two-legged dog may be the cutest thing we saw all week.

Unless you consider Ayveq, the masturbating walrus, cute. R.I.P. Ayveq.

Bears strutted their stuff on the runway in Milan. Grrr!

Part of us wants to be just like these "manly" Albanian women when we grow up.

DMX told it like it is.

There could be hope for Scanner Emily's boobs, after all.

Haha. He said "balls."

Lows:

George Carlin, who was fucking hottie back in the day, died Sunday.

We had a little disagreement about Amy Winehouse looking good. We should have been more clear. She looked good for Amy Winehouse.

Is there anything scarier than the world's ugliest dog?

Possibly only the world's largest cockroach (in Scanner Emily's bedroom at 3 a.m.).

We discussed the Supreme Court's ruling that the death penalty cannot be used on rapists who do not commit murder.

Sorry we lied to you about becoming an escort service.

Mini Me made a sex tape.

Image via Scanner Brian's flickr.

Charlie Sheen In Today's (Second?) Biggest Hooker Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 01 May 2008 19:30:00 GMT

You know that anytime a celebrity tries to get himself a bit of press using a prostitution scandal, soon enough Charlie Sheen will see his bet and double it...

Sheen, the star of one of the unfunniest sitcoms ever to (almost) top the Nielsen ratings, is spending some of those of those big fat checks on hookers so expensive, Ashley Alexandra Dupree is gonna look like a $5 Battery Tunnel streetwalker. Sheen, according to IMDB

reportedly answered a newspaper advertisement for Nici's Girls which charges customers $25,000 per night - and placed an order for four escorts. The 42-year-old - who was accused by ex-wife Denise Richards of having an unhealthy love for prostitutes and Internet porn - reportedly paid agency owner Nici $20,000 for their services.

This revelation, published this month in Rolling Stone, featured one hilarious David Lee Roth-style moment of celebrity self-indulgence:

"When Nici dropped four girls off at his penthouse, she found the actor in silk pajamas with 'C. MaSheen' embroidered over the pocket. Sheen gave her a $20,000 check for the girls, and she picked them up several hours later."

This story goes on and on and you should read the rest at IMDB News. However, we'll leave you with one comment, from Sheen's publicist to the dreaded Page Six:

"This is an old, old, old story. But, if you're looking for a really good story, I heard that Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe are getting a divorce."

David Vitter: "Thank Christ You Forgot About Me"

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:20:00 GMT

David Vitter wants y'all to forget he's a Republican Senator who hired hookers for more than a decade, while married to his equally conservative wife. But we haven't forgotten about one of the world's biggest hypocrites, who famously said Spitzer's sleeping with prostitutes while in office was a totally different story from his own sleeping with prostitutes while in office...

Well, then... allow us to reintroduce an old friend of ours, Louisiana Republican Senator David Vitter. Remember him? He's the second-rate Eliot Spitzer who was in a DC Madam's Little Black Book when the DC Madam accidentally let in a rowdy bunch of Feds, even though they didn't know the secret password.

Here in New Orleans, they haven't forgotten Vitter, who has been given an "F" rating from Middle Class Voter, and a local version of the Onion has a hilarious attack piece on him...

First, let's remind you that this self-proclaimed champion of Family Values is, according to Wikipedia

a staunch supporter of... pro-life to pro-gun rights while legislating against same-sex marriage, family planning funding for abortion providers, gambling, increases in the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) program, the United Nations and amnesty for illegal immigrants.

The New Orleans Levee, an admittedly low-budget parody rag, has exposed the hardcore conservative as a money-grubbing meathead with an affinity for barely-legal Hustler Club girls, as this picture of the staff at his 500K fundraiser reveals:

This is one brazen mofo. And with many of the state's Democrats displaced due to that hurricane and the mismanagement thereof by the leader he so blindly supports, Louisiana is going to have to put up with these shenanigans until at least 2017, when North America will be buried under forty feet of water.

Read more about Vitter and his exploits at the New Orleans Levee.

Are All Florida Teachers Bonking Their Students?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Damn, yo, this is really getting out of hand. And no, we don't mean Ashley Alexandra Dupree's television career.

Newsweek reported/plagiarized Scanner bloggers over the weekend with a story about Tampa teachers and their escapades involving parked cars and hotel room orgies. (Yes, that's a plural on the "orgies.") All three teachers pictured above did some educatin' in the same Florida radius; all three were busted in just the past three weeks.

Mary Jo Spack, 45, a local high school teacher, [was charged] with having sex with a 17-year-old male student. That encounter reportedly took place in a motel room, where she had been drinking alcohol with a group of the teen's friends, according to officials.

Even more disgusting, she's not even hot. Wait, don't throw away the half-empty barf bag just yet: the kid's friends had to listen in on the whole thing and had to try to not picture it. (Spack is the perv in the middle photo, above.)

Lisa Marinelli, 40, on the right, is either a transvestite or maybe even hot when not stoned out of her gourd for her mugshots. Either way, it doesn't explain how a teacher of children spells like a foreigner typing with her eyes closed:

"How about a quickie 2 morrow afternoon :-)? Ur car looks awesome! Al u need is a hot milf sittin next u and ud really b in busines."

Link and photos via Newsweek: Teacher Sex Scandals Alarm Fla.

Previously: Hot Teacher Busted For Sex & Drugs Party; Sloppy Seconds; Hottest Female Sex Offenders; Another Kind-of-Hot Teacher Gets It On With Her Student; Student Teacher Sex.

Girl Gone Wild: The Ashley Alexandra Dupree Video

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:11:00 GMT

Rarely has a story ever been so nauseating... or appropriate for Scanner: an eighteen-year-old girl, subjected to the whims of Girls Gone Wild douchebag and ex-con Joe Francis, is exploited, celebrated, then ditched when her usefulness gets stale. The teenage girl goes on to become a Julia Roberts/"Pretty Woman" prostitute-- well paid but nevertheless a streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm. A runaway soul. And eventually the fatal flaw in the rise and fall of the former First Jewish President of the United States...

Now Girls Gone Wild is selling a nudie video or two of our favorite Republican plant in the State House. The New York Post has a censored overview of the material; really, what more do you need to see of this overexposed star? Can't we leave her alone to her music career?

Hold it-- you do want to see more? Well, if someone wants to waste $29 to become a GGW member, download the offending material, and somehow get it to us via an embed code... we will reluctantly post it.

In the meantime, here are some more pics from the video.

Previously: Sloppy Seconds...

Photos/links via the New York Post.

Mean Girls: Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:10:00 GMT

Conservative radio host Laura Schlessinger was on Fox's Hannity and Colmes last week defending some remarks she'd made on Today when asked about the Spitzer sex scandal. She told Hannity and Colmes that beacuse she doesn't know the Spitzers, she would only speak generally on why men cheat, and had this to say:

"[W]hen the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man ... he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs. And these days, women don't spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give their men what they need."

Susceptible to the charm of another woman. That's like, what, falling in love with someone you work with or the woman who pours your coffee every day? Are you really just falling victim to being "susceptible to the charm of another woman" when you're seeking out a high class hooker?

So, basically, Dr. Laura, Silda Spitzer drove Eliot to Ashley Alexandra Dupre because she wasn't spending every waking moment of her life thinking about how she could give her man what he needs? Because we imagine with all of his duties as governor, he probably wasn't spending too much time thinking about giving Silda what she needed. Is it only the wife's responsibility, Dr. Laura, to make sure everyone is happy in the relationship?

Why don't we hear from a woman who doesn't talk about how much women suck?

"You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores."
-Tina Fey/ Ms. Norbury, "Mean Girls"

[Media Matters: Schlessinger again blamed wives for their husbands' behavior]

Image via viewimages.com

Ashley Alexandra Dupre: What We Want is Sensual Seduction

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:28:00 GMT

What happens when you mix the greatest song ever made with the greatest song ever made by the woman who slept with soon-to-be former New York governor Eliot Spitzer?

After this, we're actually hoping for a real Snoop Dogg–Ashley Alexandra Dupre collaboration.

[Ill Doctrine: Ashley Alexander [sic] Dupre "What We Want" – Snoop Dogg Remix]

Previously on Scanner:

Snoop Dogg Went to Molvania and Recorded the Video of Our Dreams

Song of the Day: Snoop Dogg and Robyn's "Sexual Eruption"

Sloppy Seconds: Spitzer's Lady Friend Can Rock Your World, Too

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:31:00 GMT

Amy Winehouse's dad almost, kind-of, sort-of claims to be responsible for his daughter's problems. But then doesn't. It's not like he put the crack in her beehive.

While some of our old friends from Nickelodeon have made the voyage into adulthood with us (Christine Tayor and that guy from "Salute Your Shorts" who's now in Rilo Kiley), we still get nostalgic for old-school Nickeloden, like "Hey Dude" and "Clarissa Explains it All." And so does Netorama. But what about "You Can't Say that on Television?"

Like Jamie Lynn Spears and Britney before her, crazy flying prehistoric animals had teenage sex, too.

Ashely "Kristen" Alexandra Dupree can now rock your world. Her songs, available for download, now hold the first and second spots for digital music downloads today.