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Russians Like Big Butts, You Can't Deny

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:53:00 GMT

Russians always gotta be different. Sometimes they even take things that Americans love, like binge drinking, and escalate them to absurd levels of worship.

Case in point-- the new sexting craze that is taking Russkies by storm doesn't involve pornographic images (necessarily.) They have, however, taken their love of gigantic backsides to a whole new level of devotion...

After one girl, under the handle VILena, posted the below photo on one of the country's premiere social networking sites, a major cultural trend was born overnight:

This is the photo, which came our way in this censored form, that sparked the following mania:

Wait, what the fuck?

We promise to continue to ~~get to the bottom~~ stay on top of this, now known as Vilena, and other emerging sexual trends.

The call it “to make Vilena-style photo” - Vilena that’s the name of the first girl. By the way, this name has a Soviet origin. After the Communists took over in 1917 and their leader Lenin was a national hero many Russian young parents called their boys and girls after him using his initials and second name. Lenin’s full name was “Vladimir Iliich Lenin” - so new boyish name appeared “VILen” and girlish one two: “VILena”. There were also such names like “Vladlen” or “Vladlena” after “Vladimir Lenin”. [English Russia]

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Sexy Garden Gnomes Offend Wankers

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:59:00 GMT

In West Midlands, UK, the Old Guard is trying desperately to prevent its open-minded seniors from corrupting the youth with their naked garden gnomes.

The full, horrific and incredibly graphic photos of these hideous beasts-- along with equally hilarious quotes from those who seek to save us from these insults to our mores-- after the jump...

For more than fifteen years, nude gnomes have stood in 64-year-old Sarah Smith's garden, unashamed of the imaginary bodies their imaginary God gave them. Then, of course, an unnamed woman moved in next door and was worried her young children might be filled with wild, underage lust for old bearded men if they saw the nude creatures. So she called the town council and had a police officer order Smith's little dudes covered up:

"I don't think they should be in a garden with my young kids running around nearby," she said.

"They are childish and I think it pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone."

Of course, there's nothing pathetic whatsoever with caring so much about a bunch of naked garden gnomes that you have to get the cops involved. Nothing at all.

Via the Telegraph.

Joss Stone Had An Ass Slip At Coachella

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:08:00 GMT

Joss Stone, the 22-year-old British soul singer, was added to the lineup of the Coachella just four days prior to her Saturday afternoon performance.

Perhaps she's now regretting not having had enough time to pick out an appropriate outfit for an outdoor peformance on an elevated stage...

This is why it's important to have security turn around once in a while and see what's going on onstage, if only for the performer's sake. As you can see, this is becoming a problem...

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Media Fawning All Over Sasha Grey Now That They're Allowed To

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:15:00 GMT

Sasha Grey's mainstream breakout role in The Girlfriend Experience, playing later this month at the Tribeca Film Festival before a wider release in May, is exciting the elitist media on the east coast. They're all big fans of Grey, which means they've been waiting for years to get her (half?) naked for their magazines while interviewing her on their office couch. Thankfully, Grey is too wise and experienced to fall for their tricks... she ends up coming off as a well-adjusted, well, porn star.

In this week's New York Magazine, Grey talked about playing a Ashley Alexandra Dupre-era prostitute in her first "legitimate" feature film...

How were you cast?
One of Soderbergh’s writers, Brian Koppelman, contacted me through MySpace. I thought it was a joke, because I get a lot of fake offers on MySpace. Then Steven left me a voice mail.

What, as they say, was your motivation?
Steven was really secretive about the character, but he wanted me to bring a natural, uninhibited quality to the film. There’s a lot of scenes where I’m improvising. I sat at home, writing a lot, figuring out who she was. I’d take my notes to Steven.

You don’t actually have sex onscreen.
When I had the first meeting I assumed I would be naked and do a sex scene. Did I think I would do five, like in my adult work? No, but even up to the point where we were shooting, I thought there was going to be at least one sex scene.

That’s usually the first thing actresses clear up in their contracts.
The contract did say that I would be nude. But one of the clauses was [laughing] “You cannot have [real] sex.” To me, that was a pretty funny legality.

I imagine you’d never seen that before?
It was pretty weird. But it was great not to have sex—that would have been too easy. If you want to see me having sex, you can do that! Not doing it shifts the focus, because a lot of clients are there for more than the sex.

What’s your plan?
I’ve got to diversify myself. Do I want to be 35, having sex on-camera? No. I want to be sitting on a fucking porch at my beach house with my own successful company.

Via New York Magazine.

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"Britain's Sexiest Teacher" In Hot Water After Steamy Photo Shoot

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:10:00 GMT

Natasha Gray, voted Britain's Sexiest Teacher in a phone survey following a television show seven years ago, is (finally) back in the news again for doing the only thing that could ever upset a British parent: not being able to live on a teacher's salary.

Apparently, some parents were worried about their children being taught by a woman who models in the near-nude... and here we thought Britain was more enlightened about the female form than their American counterparts...

Some kid who couldn't keep his or her mouth shut (who talks to their parents about what goes on at school anyway?) told his/her mom that Gray had lingerie photos up on iModel, a website for aspiring underwear champions. The woman wrote an anonymous letter to the school informing them of the photos, which she said was "disgusted" by the "inappropriate" spread.

"I assume the pupils have a good giggle about it but I find it rather crass."

Well, my dear, if teachers were banned from doing anything one single person finds offensive, the only thing they could do was sit absolutely still and keep their eyes closed. In other words, find something better do with your time, mom.

Meanwhile, "Tasha" has been told she will not be fired, but that the school hopes she knows that this will go down on her permanent record.

Via various English media sources and iModel.

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PG Porn Takes the Bang Bus

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:12:00 GMT

When PG Porn first appeared last year, we attacked it for being just as vulgar and idiotic as the adult films it portended to spoof.

After several consecutive successful viral vids, director/creator James Gunn has finally hit his stride with this: The Bang Bus parody. The inclusion of comic masterminds Craig Robinson and-- gulp-- Bree Olsen can't hurt either.

Check out PG-Porn: Special Ass-sistance (har har) here:

PG PORN: Helpful Bus

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World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:02:00 GMT

On Saturday afternoon, naked people took to their bicycles all over the Southern Hemisphere to protest the "indecent exposure" caused by carbon emissions. We're all for this campaign...

Above photos from Newcastle. Top photo from Sao Paulo.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2009 kicked off its first wave of protests in cities like Melbourne, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, and Lima. The Northern Hemisphere events are scheduled for June 13th and already include Krakow, L.A., London, Seattle, Amsterdam, Montreal, New Orleans, and many other major cities.

Perhaps the funniest photo of the day is this one, which doesn't even involve nudity. Check out that sexy pink bike!

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Fox News Enjoys Your Big Butt

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:36:00 GMT

Fox News in Phoenix had one of its poor, long-suffering female correspondents file a report on big butts and why they're absolutely wonderful for your health. Okay, this we gotta see...

"Right in the ol' badonk?" Dirty Diane, clearly you are obsessed. Also, apparently, big butts are what made Beyonce and J-Lo famous and there's no need to work out that much if your ass is gigantic. Thanks, Fox.

We'll never look at apples the same way.

Via MyFoxPhoenix.

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Amazing Race Winner Stars In First Celebrity Webcam Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:44:00 GMT

Apologies to our gay readers, but despite what the above photo may lead you to believe, Amazing Race champion Eric Sanchez is involved in a purely naked, purely hetero webcam photo leak...

Sanchez, who partnered with Danielle Turner to take home the million-dollar prize in The Amazing Race: All Stars back in '07, was rumored to have performed a solo jerk for an unknown female lover, via webcam, for some time now. Over the past few days, photos have begun to emerge confirming this:

The subject is seen undressing, stepping to the side of the camera, and whacking it with his left hand, eventually landing a splooge in the righthand palm. These very, very NSFW porn pics are here.

We wouldn't even bother with this story if Sanchez hadn't shrugged it off in the first place, confirming that he is indeed its subject and almost bragging about how laid back he is. More power to him-- and more naked photos, please. The ladies of the internet firmly request it, good sir.

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While You Were Sleeping: Paula Deen Moons Her Audience

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Memo to Citibank employees: if you receive a letter requesting $27 million for the Bank of Ethiopia, check to make sure it wasn't posted in Nigeria.

The GOP attacked Obama on the stimulus... but this guy couldn't name a single piece of "pork," not even a general category.

You have to wait till the end of this Walker: Texas Ranger clip for the payoff-- and it's laugh-out-loud, knee-slappin' good times...

Ah, young love: these days, it entails sex with your teacher dozens of times in several locations, including the parking lot of a K-Mart.

A man accidentally shot himself during a robbery attempt. He proceeded to lose the loot... and his pants.

Prince dedicated his secret Hollywood concert after the Oscars to Penelope Cruz.

Authorities busted 500 people and freed 48 child prostitutes in a major raid yesterday.

And, in perhaps one of the greatest YouTube moments so far, Paula Deen mooned her fans at the Miami Food and Wine Festival...

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Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:46:00 GMT

Kate Moss ruffled a few feather boas this week when she did a shoot for Roberto Cavalli in Los Angeles.

The New York Post alleges Moss showed up two hours late (don't they plan for that in advance but telling her to show up at 9 when they mean 11?) Immediately, the supermodel started polishing off a steady stream of beers (seeing as how this is the Post, it was probably two cans), sat on another model's lap and didn't look at or speak to him, which must've been hot for him. Once the last photo was taken, she stormed out.

No such rumors have risen from this New York shoot, the photos from which appeared online this week. However, there was plenty more to talk about...

Moss addressed those petty pregnancy rumors in the way we hoped she would, although we wished she had just said "can't a girl drink a beer on a Saturday night in peace?!"

I’ve got a clear idea of what I want for lingerie. I’ve just started wearing bras. It’s a miracle. Not today, but I have been. Great timing for my lingerie collection. I’ve just grown breasts. I am a woman now! It’s true. No, honestly, I’ve never worn a bra in my life. Ever! Ever! It’s so awful, even my friends are phoning me up and saying “Are you pregnant?” And I’m like, “No! I just put on a couple of pounds, and they went in the right place.” Isn’t that weird? And how perfect for lingerie. [New York]

She's a woman now, just because she has to wear a bra? Don't let anyone tell you you need boobs, Kate, but please let someone do something about that hair...

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Museum Erotica Might Be the Economy's Next Victim

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:56:00 GMT

Copenhagen, Demark's Museum Erotica may be going out of business. Sources say that a public plea failed when the new investors pulled out at the last minute (no pun intended.)

A loss of this magnitude would be have worldwide consequences-- after all, where else are you going to see all this NSFW sex-related art?

According to the Copenhagen Post, the Museum may be put up for sale as early as today:

The City Council’s cultural committee has turned down a request to support the museum and the museum’s chief executive, Hanne Stensgaard, said the museum is facing the sale of its extensive collection.
The museum is home to more than 1,500 artifacts and pictures depicting erotica through the ages. [Copenhagen Post]

If that ends up happening, you know that private pervs will keep all these glorious art pieces to themselves, so enjoy them now, thanks to Flickr and other internet sources:

1) Statue from the museum; 2) Kama Sutra painting; 3) What's up with this figurine's penis?; 4) Yes, that is a vagina cam; 5) A sex doll or the new Pamela Anderson spread for Playboy?; 6) A Marilyn Monroe exhibit was featured recently at the museum.

Check out the museum's website-- hopefully, there will be news of a last-second savior any minute now...

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Naked Man Takes Over the Tate

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:47:00 GMT

Have you ever noticed that museums host an assortment of paintings and photos of nude women, but hardly any of men?

These noble internet troublemakers noticed...

An image of a naked delivery driver from Newcastle has been projected onto the side of Tate Britain in a bid to break the taboo of showing the male form.

But the stunt is not the product of the art establishment, 25-year-old Neill Richardson was dared to show off his body on a bragging website.

He sent in the picture - displaying his tattoos and behind - and it was (somehow) picked as the 'best' and projected 50ft tall onto the side of the famous art gallery. [Newslite]

While their intentions may not have been as heroic as some might suggest (they weren't out to "break the taboo" any more than they wanted to top a similar prank from 1999 that projected a naked Gail Porter onto the backside of Parliament), at least now people in the art world are discussing that controversial subject: the nude male form and the unspoken conservative suppression of it.

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Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:15:00 GMT

We're barely even at the "attempting to wakeup" stage on this Monday morning, but luckily, Lily Allen has made another public faux pas that is quickly waking us up.

At this rate, we might even be able to operate heavy machinery or, even better, a margarita blender by noon...

Lily Allen, who has been telling the press about her "lesbian fantasies," took a swipe at G-A-Y fundraiser no-show Britney Spears by dressing up as Spears for an encore of "Womanizer" at the event over the weekend. The pop star, who as of today has a #1 single on the UK charts, dressed up in a sluttastic outfit that had the paparazzi like the attack dogs they most certainly are. A few of them tried to stick their cameras under her dress as she exited her car to sing at the event in Great Britain.

Fortunately for us, the Sun, the Daily Mail, and virtually ever other English publication caught the moment when she decided to sort of "moon" the crowd. We bring you only the highest quality source-- because you deserve it:

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More Naked Rugby Dudes

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:20:00 GMT

Powerade is celebrating its new official sponsorship of the Rugby Football Union by featuring three buck naked stars in their latest ads.

The players, Paul Sackey, Steve Borthwick and Shane Williams, are seen from the back in positions of "action"-- and, unfortunately, it's not that kind of "action."

(By the way, the actual ads are banner ads of these photos, with the word "Powerade" on the right side. Nothing special other than the pics.)

As you know, we've been following the recent trend of blatant nudity to sell unrelated products, which have mostly featured female porn stars so far. This is one of the few we've spotted in which naked dudes are the featured attraction...

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Happy Ending To This Naked Man's Prank

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:41:00 GMT

ABOVE: Unrelated photo for illustrative purposes.

Two drunk young Australian men stood outside a cafe, daring each other to strip and saunter into the late-night takeout place as if nothing were amiss.

Before one of them decided to walk in, he enlisted the aid of a passerby to make sure the moment was captured for historical history...

Luckily, 23-year-old Steven Bastick agreed to partake in the Jackass-inspired experiment and snapped the below photo for the world's continuing amusement. But the best part of all, and our entire reason for sharing this, is the quote he's been handing out to the endless stream of reporters ringing him up, describing the reaction the naked man received from the lone cashier:

"The lady was just smiling," he said.

"It didn't bother her at all...."

We have to wonder if she was grinning because he was naked or because of the one "bit" of information we're unable to ascertain from this photo...

Via this link and this link.

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Carmen Electra's Latest Playboy Shoot Explains Why The Magazine Is Failing

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:12:00 GMT

Carmen Electra enjoys wire coat hangers. Not in the Joan Crawford kind of way... at least, we don't think...

The actress/model refuses to go into details about how she uses her homemade sex aids, but admits she's found a hot new use for hangers.
She teases, "A little pleasure, a little pain. It's all about fun." The current Playboy pin-up tells the magazine she's a big collector of sex toys and visits the world's top boutiques to stock up. [Starpulse]

This is honestly the most interesting thing this "actress"/absurdly famous person has to say in her promotional tour for this month's Playboy. And we'd almost still be in these photos; however...

Ain't Photoshop incredible? Not only can it make your ass appear twenty years younger, it can apparently take your head and seamlessly dump it over another model's body.

Seriously, though, Playboy claims to loathe fake boobs (although they recently killed an in-house story that would've lambasted women who receive boob jobs) and yet the magazine is nothing but Photoshopped or implanted boobs. No wonder they are about to go offline and become internet only-- if you want to see tasteful, exciting, titillating, or just plain interesting naked women, you have to head to the internet...

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Top 5 Sex Scenes Set in the Great Outdoors

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:55:00 GMT

After a holiday hiatus, our regular feature returns. This week's list is wishful thinking-- we probably couldn't get away with outdoor sex in today's 36-degree New York weather... you'll have to let us know how your reenactments go in warmer climes...

5. U-Turn. Honestly, we didn't even remember that Jennifer Lopez was in this movie before finding this clip. Still haunting our memories, however, are those extreme closeups of Billy Bob Thornton's teeth.

Jennifer Lopez Outdoor Sex Scene

4. The Hot Spot. This tender nude scene was featured on our Jennifer Connelly list way back when. Hey, if you want to complain about seeing Jennifer Connelly naked again, we can't really help you.

Jennifer Connelly - The Hot Spot

3. Three. We would've had to field serious complaints if we didn't include this raunchy, sexual assault-turned cheeseball sex scene from some straight-to-DVD Kelly Brook vehicle. You'd be amazed how many fans this actress has...

Beach Sex

2. Fast Times At Ridgemont High. The two sex scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh in this movie take place outdoors (one, in a semi-private changing room; the other, a baseball dugout), but they're clearly overshadowed by this sex-free fantasy sequence that would be our #1... if... only... she would touch someone... anyone...

Phoebe Cates-Fast Times At Ridgemont High

1. Domino. We're pretty sure it doesn't happen like this in the original cut of the movie (or any official cut, for that matter), but the homemade repeition is an addition we're thankful for.

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Today in "How'd That Get Up There?"

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 19:45:00 GMT

About a month ago, we brought you the incredible story of the English vicar who claimed to have fallen on a potato, which managed to get stuck up his naked ass. We're not sure how you would, um, cover your ass, so to speak, with an excuse for this one...

According to the Sun (really, the only "news" source with anything interesting during this completely dead week), a woman in Romania entered the hospital with complaints of "anal itch." Just kidding, she told them flat out that an enormous can of hairspray had become lodged in her bunghole. Of course, she didn't bother to deny that the can had lodged itself there during some sort of sexual experiment:

[S]he refused to tell surgeons how the can came to be lodged in her rear even after a successful operation dislodged the canister.
Mirandolina Prisca, a doctor at the clinic, explained: "We had X-rays done to localise the object and then we carried out the operation. The patient was fine after it.
"She was very embarrassed. She was clearly in a lot of pain, however it got there."
"This was not just a little can of deodorant, this was a massive can of hairspray," said one hospital worker.
And perhaps unsurprisingly the docs never got to the bottom of this medical mystery!

Don't you love how they italicize that and slap an exclamation point on the end of the sentence to emphasize their wit? Anyway, we lopped off the first part of the story, which identified the poor woman by name (isn't there any sort of doctor-patient confidentiality in that country?) However, you can check out the full scoop here.

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Sex on the Beach: Zhang Ziyi Won't Go Nude For A Movie, But...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:32:00 GMT

Chinese bombshell Zhang Ziyi is a strange creature, according to the world's horniest sex blogs. These blogs, including Fleshbot, gently rib Ziyi for refusing to appear nude in her films (she uses body doubles-- so those Google searches are only turning up fakes, people) but going nude in public and fooling around with her boyfriend on a crowded public beach.

Who cares about the debate, really? We just want to know-- is this guy in love with her butt or what?

These pictures have already caused a stir on the internet, for several reasons: 1) Zhang is about to marry this guy, Vivi Nuevo, an Israeli, which isn't going over well in her homeland; 2) Zhang's nude photos are splashed all over China's websites during a period where the country is cracking down on porn; and 3) well, Time just needed a traffic boost.

While You Were Sleeping: The Liposuction Car

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

A rogue church threatened to publicly broadcast the details of a married woman's sex life after she refused to break up with her secret lover. (They sent her a letter announcing their intentions, even though she'd quit attending services there.)

A former member of the White House's inner circle, who was all set to testify in court against Karl Rove and his rigging of the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio, died in a plane crash over the weekend. We were waiting for the mainstream media to pick up on this story and at least dismiss it-- of course, they've so far chosen to ignore even a cursory mention, even though it's several days old.

Sam Mendes spoke out about watching the sex scene between his wife and Leo...

Sam Mendes says directing wife Kate Winslet as she grappled with Leonardo DiCaprio in the steamier scenes in "Revolutionary Road" was "a profoundly weird experience" - so weird that he couldn't watch it. Instead, he monitored the action on a video... [PageSix]

Prosecutors don't seem to care about our rights. They don't care what the jury decides, either.

A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon fled the country when it was discovered he was powering his SUV with what he'd gleaned off his liposuction patients.

Possibly under the assumption they would lose, the Screen Actors Guild delayed a vote on whether or not to strike.

According to one paper, the economy is not stopping women from spending ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. The "lipstick effect" is in play, just as it was during the Great Depression.

A man tried to get his murder case retried, claiming two jurors had sex with one another and the guards overseeing them were inspired for some of the same. Thanks, M.

And breaking up with Hugh Hefner somehow landed Holly Madison the cover of Playboy.

More Nude Rugby Calendar Dudes For The Holidays

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:42:00 GMT

We'll always blog about nude rugby players and their calendars, particularly if the calendars are a charitable endeavor...

In an age when young starlets take their clothes off in a surefire attempt at jump-starting their careers, we should be ignoring them and pay more attention to people like the men of the Gloucester and Westbury-on-Severn rugby squads, both of which agreed to pose for arty black-and-white pinup shots, with no monetary or career-boosting awards whatsoever.

Check out the two photos that have been sent out to the press. The first is of a Gloucester team member named Andy Hazell (any relation to Keeley?); the second, butt shots of the Westbury boys:

We have no idea where one might be able to purchase these calendars, so if you have that info, please pass it along and we'll share it here.

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Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 20:53:00 GMT

The hits just keep coming from X-rated HBO series True Blood, with this week's sex scene hotter than any of the previous ones... except that XXX-rated Anna Paquin one in the graveyard... or... or...

Well, anyway, if Lizzy Caplan doesn't end up a big movie star thanks to this show, she does have a career as the next Shannon Tweed...

Check out this latest raunchfest, complete with a greenscreen sequence so bad, we had to check to make sure this isn't a cable access show. In fact, the effects here are beyond parody, to the point where you half expect a Flight of the Conchords song to start and Jermaine to croon about tapping that sweet, sweet ass... (Also, who the hell designed that tire track on the vampire's face?)

Image via Flaunt Magazine.

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Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:12:00 GMT

For 40 smackers (in today's, you know, perfect economy), a copy of Timothy White's Hollywood Pinup could be yours. And, let us say, based on all available evidence, it would surely be worth your bottom dollar.

However, you would do almost as well just to see all the best photos from its steamy pages, after the jump...

Batting first is Angie Harmon, who we're pretty sure voted for John McCain yesterday. Luckily for her, she has other redeeming ass-pects to her personality...

Up next is the always jailbait-looking 23-year-old Michelle Trachtenberg:

Kate Hudson, you probably have a pretty decent personality, but how can we pay any attention to that when you pose for see-through ass shots?

You can see Susan Sarandon here and a nearly-butt-naked Rebecca DeMornay here. Meanwhile, we'll leave you with Mary-Kate Olsen... who normally we want nothing to do with. (We're in that minority of guys who think it's creepy to lust after the Olsen twins. Nonetheless, enjoy!)

Ah... now we get it.

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Real or Fake? Nude Photos of Obama's Mother

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

We're serious-- these could actually be real, although one blogger has an interesting theory that would cancel out that possibility.

Of course, the real question is: why are we seeing these photos now, less than two weeks till Election Day? Could this be some sort of ruse by the Right, now that the Ayers-Socialism-Muslim smear campaign has obviously failed? We found this on a radical right-wing website that claims Islamofascists and left-wingers are one and the same:

It's amazing what there is on the internet. A geneological researcher has emailed me with three pictures of Obama's mother in the nude. That would be of trivial interest except for the setting in which the picures were taken. They were clearly taken in a sophisticated mid-century apartment and my correspondent suggests that the apartment details could be used to identify the photographer. He feels that the photographer is the Communist "Frank" whom Obama mentions as his mentor. That Frank was so intimate with Obama's mother would support the contention that Frank was in fact Obama's father. Various bloggers have pointed out how similar Obama looks to "Frank" and the coverup of Obama's birth certificate is certainly very suspicious...

Yep, these people will say anything to drag Obama through the mud (since they can't win on things like issues, facts, and reality)... and apparently they'll take as fact what "a geneological [sic] researcher" e-mailed them. Groovy.

One Google blogger ("Anna") disagrees:

Sorry, I just don't see it. For one thing Obama's mother always wore her hair long and the woman in the photos had short hair. I think
they are barking up the wrong tree here which is so sad because there are so so many right trees that they have available to them.

Ah... yeah... there's so much else they can hit Obama on... such as... uh... that he once shook hands with a guy at a rally who did time for unpaid parking tickets. Terrorist!

Anyway, back to the photos... here's one. Compare it to the one at the top left and decide for yourself...

Her face kinda looks photoshopped here, so we're going to call bullshit where no one else is. That's a shame, too, because someone needs to call these despicable right-wingers out on this continued nonsense-- guys and dolls, if you have to resort to disgracing somebody's mother in order to win an election, it's time to admit you may been on the wrong side of the aisle...

Here and here are the other pictures. We don't have the heart to post them.

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Crushed: Kim Kardashain's Dreams of Dancing With the Stars (Outside the Bedroom, Anyway)

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:37:00 GMT

Apparently Kim Kardashian is just as exciting on the dance floor as she is in the bedroom.

That's not very exciting, for anyone who hasn't seen her sex tape.

Kardashian was kicked off of ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" last night, after a "lackluster ramba routine." Mmhmm.

She and her partner, Mark Ballas, received a score of 17 out of 30, and after that score was combined with viewer votes, the pair was booted.

[Yahoo!: 3rd celebrity gone from 'Dancing With the Stars]

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[Image]

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

What's Earth Friend Gen doing with her hands?

Back in June, we told you about Gennifer Moss, the "Infamous Naked Lady," who was prevented from bike riding naked in Ashland, Oregon's 4th of July parade. She's back in the news again, this time for actually following through on her promises, despite public outcries...

According to several sources, including the Associated Press, Moss has been riding her rollerskates naked through the Portland streets. The police, of course, are concerned for Gen's "safety":

They were getting calls about a nude on-line skater whizzing past tourists and rush-hour commuters.

But you can do that in Oregon, where occasional nude bike rides draw police only for crowd control and shows featuring live sex acts are protected as free speech.

Interestingly enough, the article eventually admits that the calls weren't "complaints." Rather, the fuzz said that Oregonians are so nice that they were merely concerned about their Earth Friend's well-being and that they stepped in to check on her. Nice try, copper.

By the way, press reports are confusing, but it sounds like one of the complaints was actually on behalf of construction workers. What the hell is going on with this country?

Via WKTZ.

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Has Kim Kardashian's DWTS Partner Seen Her Sex Tape?

Emily Farris — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:11:00 GMT

Celebutante Kim Kardashian joins the likes of Lance Bass, Chef Rocco Dispirito, Susan Lucci, Toni Braxton and Cloris Leachman for the seventh season of Dancing With the Stars.

On her MySpace blog, Kardashian talks a lot about her anxiety over meeting her dance partner, Mark Ballas.

“All I could think was, I would be spending weeks and weeks and weeks, hours upon hours with this person, so I hoped we’d just get along to start!”

Riiight, Kimmers. You were just worried he'd seen your sex tape.

We only hope her performance on DWTS has a little more energy than her sex tape. And based on this picture we found, we think she'll be okay:

But what do you think?

[People: Kim Kardashian Traces Her DWTS Journey]

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All Right, Fine... We'll Show You Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 16:14:00 GMT

This is almost an exclusive, actually. For months, we'd been hearing about this Ray J-Kim Kardashian sex tape, which was briefly sold by one online distributor before being pulled. The only real footage that surfaced on the web was in the form of an almost safe-for-work trailer.

Then we found a couple of five-minute excerpts on Megarotic... making this sort of like Three Pornos In Search Of An Editor, but anyway...

First, the "trailer." Warning, it's incredibly annoying:

Next, the best version we've been able to find of the tape, a three part version. Most of these, you'll spend on fast-forward, but the third one is pretty nice once the slow motion bullshit is over...

1) Ray goes down on her, then there's some pointless footage of Kim's crotch... while she is in public... wearing jeans:

2) Next up, more sex, beginning with Kim saying she's too shy to show herself off... before showing off her ass and poonannananany... and boobs... and Ray J's dick...

3) At last, we come to the XXX finish... well, if you fastforward to the last two minutes, that is..

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The Town Of Valentine, Nebraska Is Under Attack From The Butt Bandit

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:12:00 GMT

They're literally calling him, in reputable print publications, "The Butt Bandit."

The unknown ass goblin has been terrorizing the town of Valentine (oh, man, this one's just writing itself) with all sorts of bizarre (and perverted?) attacks on local shops and residents.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.

Ugh-- what is he doing with this lotion and petroleum jelly? Yes, he probably put it on himself so that he could leave an imprint on the glass... but why those two particular products? Oh. Wait, we already know the answer... and we really didn't want to know. We're all for public nudity, streaking, and being in touch with one's natural form. But we don't have to stand for somebody rubbing themselves all over the place, particularly if they've just had sex or jerked off. YUCK.

Valentine, in remote north-central Nebraska, promotes itself as "The Heart City." Downtown sidewalks are painted with hearts, and locals encourage people from around the country to send their Valentine's Day cards to the local post office so they can be mailed out with the word "Valentine" stamped on them.

"This is not normal behavior for Valentine," Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said. "It's not funny or something people want to be exposed to."

Actually, it's rather amusing when you think about it in the context of the town's name, but maybe not... after all, we're not the ones who have to deal with it.

Via Otago Daily Times. Photo via this link.

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