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Miss Australia Contestant Under Fire For Being Too Thin

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:26:00 GMT

The Miss Universe pageant isn't for another four months, but it's already causing the usual controversy.

This time, the uproar is over a contestant who didn't even win her country's top prize, with media and observers complaining that she should have never been allowed to participate in the first place, thanks to her weight...

Stephanie Naumoska, who is 19, was defeated by Robin Finch, who is much healthier looking. But the story didn't die with the end of Australia's portion of the competition-- many are wondering why a 5' 11" model weighing 108 pounds was allowed to compete in the first place...

[A] spectator at the event at the Hilton Hotel commented: 'Side on, if you didn't look carefully enough, you could miss her - she was that thin.'

Dieticians urged the Sydney model to seek urgent medical attention because she was dangerously underweight.
And dietician Melanie McGrice said: "There does appear to be significant muscle wasting on the upper arm and legs, and individuals with a healthy BMI do not have such protruding bones."

But Ms Naumoska, who did not win the contest, has rejected the criticism, saying: "I think it is very unfair that I have been criticised that I'm too skinny."

Unfair? They wanted to take you to a hospital-- that means you're too skinny, without a doubt.

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"I have never been anorexic or bulimic I don't throw up my meals after I eat them I don't starve myself, none of that. I eat six to eight healthy meals a day.'"
The Sydney teenager added: "I'm here to defend the skinny people. I have been modelling since I was 13 and have a lot of friends who are really tall and skinny.

"It is just the way that our bodies are", she told TV show A Current Affair.

Six to eight "healthy" meals per day, girl? "A peanut" does not count as a meal, sorry. Let's look at the photo evidence:

Believe us when we say the winner isn't much healthier...

Via Daily Mail and Sky [right-click to open in a new window.]

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Male Australian Writer Believes Most Women Are Socially Inept, Crass, Not Bangable

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

We love how this male writer cites a female Emily Post wannabe in ripping up Australia's women, presumably after having been dumped by a wild party girl like the ones he attacks so ruthlessly.

Then again, we don't disagree with a few of his points about the "fairer sex."

If the evidence screened on a recent popular reality television show [don't say The Hills - Ed.] is to be believed then certain young, modern, Australian women are not only completely lacking in good manners but they are also foul-mouthed, loud and uncultured.

All of that is true of all English-speaking people in this day and age, the men included.

it's interesting to look at just how far the modern woman – regardless of age, race, status or income – has sunk in her attempt to "live in a man's world."

This all kinds of awful-- perhaps one of our readers can take this line to task, especially that last snarky remark... we don't have the patience.

Many Australian women are now socially inept, particularly when it comes to manners – from the businesswoman who orders the hotel concierge to get them a cab "quick smart" to the moody shop assistant who rolls her eyes when asked for help and then turns to the next assistant and announces that she cannot wait to knock off.

What about the businessman who orders up a hooker from Craig's List and then complains to her madame that she makes him wear a condom? What about the dudes who feel no qualms about hitting on a woman sitting at the bar when her boyfriend goes to the bathroom? What about the moody male video store clerk who rolls his eyes when you ask what came out this week? What if-- well, you get the point.

Then comes a line (the first one here) that we agree with 100%:

A Brisbane businessman recently revealed that, when he opened a door for two professional women exiting an office, he received no acknowledgement only to have a glass door slammed in his face after following them out. Many men are now becoming reluctant to open doors for women because they merely get "huffed" at and pushed aside.

Women almost never-- I should do a social experiment, but I would guess it's one out of ten, tops-- thank us or even acknowledge us holding the door for them. And we don't mean we stop for more than two seconds to hold the door-- it's not like we're standing there expectantly. We just know that they're a few steps back and will have to deal with the door swinging back in their faces if we don't stop to hold it. We do the same thing for anyone, regardless of gender or any other quality of the person(s) behind us. But men always mutter a casual but polite thank you-- I'm guessing at least eight or nine out of every ten.

Not cool, ladies. And another thing:

Women in the 40 to 60-year-old age bracket regard footpaths, aisles and malls as theirs alone. Put two or three of these women together and everyone must make way for them. In their world nothing comes between them and their conversation, certainly not manners or respect.

We disagree with this statement, if only because our experience is with strollers in Brooklyn and the side-by-side lineup of those monsters, each of which is wider than a motorcycle with a sidecar. Author Ian Wallace would likely agree if he lived in New York. Meanwhile, he cites June-Dally Watkins, the Emily Post type we cited, as saying good manners is an important character trait for all women. We say it's important in everyone.

Read his full story here.

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While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Christopher Hitchens recalls the night no one wanted him to get loaded, so he went to Hunter Thompson's house to get bombed and fire off some guns. Someone explain to me why life is worth living without that man in this world.

Tomorrow's South Park is about pirates.

An Australian town chorus posed nude for charity.

The Food Network Magazine benefits in this economy-- maybe because no one can afford food, so they decide to read about? Not sure on this one.

Madonna may have lied about paparazzi causing her fall from a horse. Ya think?

This guy is right about his water bill-- there's no way he used 300,000 gallons in one month... and he's also right that no one, not even a well-meaning anonymous donor should have to pay the price for the water company's clerical error.

Rumors are brewing that Lindsay Lohan is considering joining a topless revue. Man, the internet will believe anything Perez Hilton tells them, huh?

And Stephen Hawking is apparently in serious condition in an English hospital.

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The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:18:00 GMT

USA! USA! USA!

Not this time... and that's a welcome change. After all, aren't you beyond bored with the perennial sex surveys that trash our Puritan nation's filthy, condom-buying pervs? Not this time: suck it, Australia, Germany, and the rest!

But not literally, of course, since we're prudes compared to you guys...

Here are the Top 15, according to research published in this week's New Scientist by a professor at Bradley University:

1. United Kingdom

2. Germany

3. Netherlands

4. Czech Republic

5. Australia

6. USA

7. France

8. Turkey

9. Mexico

10. Canada

11. Italy

12. Poland

13. Spain

14. Greece

15. Portugal

The survey queried 14,000 people in 48 countries on their life's worth of sex partners and one night stands, plus a respondent's general attitude toward casual sex and getting it on in general. Particularly interesting is this excerpt from a story about this story in the Times:

The high scores in many Baltic and eastern European states might be linked, Schmitt said, to the fact that women outnumber men and so are under more pressure to conform to what men want in order to find a mate. In Asian countries, by contrast, men tend to outnumber women slightly, so it is men who have to conform.

That doesn't sound very scientific to us, but we'll take it...

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Mom Films Her Boyfriend Having Sex with Her 13-Year-Old Daughter

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:55:00 GMT

The Sun reports today on the case of a 46-year-old Perth, Australia mom (well, until they take the daughter away from her, of course) who allegedly videotaped a 29-year-old man having sex with the mom's thirteen-year-old daughter.

And the video might have stayed under wraps, had the man not blackmailed another woman, a victim of his internet stalking...

Cops allege the girl's mother was also involved in the video and will appear in court next week.
She faces 19 sex offence charges.
The man has appeared before magistrates accused of having sex with the 13-year-old and recording the acts.
The man has been charged with more than 150 counts of distributing child pornography and having sex with an underage girl and was granted bail today.

Good Lord, did some Billionaire put up an island as collateral? How the hell was his bail low enough that he was able to meet it? One hundred and fifty counts-- and this doesn't even include the stalking, it seems.

The crimes came to light when early last month police say they received a complaint from another woman who said she was being stalked on the internet.
Perth policeman Sgt Greg Lambert said: "An unknown person was sending her emails that contained naked pictures of herself in the shower."
"The woman was threatened that the pictures would be posted on the web if she reported the matter."

When the po-po dropped by the idiot perv's house to check his computer, they found his exploitative video and probably beat the shit out of him. At least, we hope they did... although, if not, we're sure his future inmates will know what to do with this creep.

Via the Sun and News.com.au.

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China Joins The Sex Hotel Trend

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 20:43:00 GMT

In Naning, South China, there is a hotel with rooms full of bouncy balls, massage chairs, and... wait, what the hell is that?

Oh, right, it's that thing from that Sex and the City episode:

An employee demonstrates how to use the facilities in a hotel room for adults in Nanning, South China's Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region, November 6, 2008. The hotel has attracted lots of customers with each of the rooms furnished with a red bed with straps, an adult chair and a gym ball, while the owner is a little worried the hotel might be perceived as a brothel. [Link]

China's so weird, they use employees instead of scantily-clad models to show off their lousy products.

But Australia's got them beat: a monthlong resort orgy!

An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn, media reports said on Thursday.
"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.

"It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn't take rocket science to work out what it means," Fox said, naming March as the risque party month.

The controversial "clothes optional" resort made headlines three years ago when police were called to end partner-swapping parties after a swathe of public complaints.

"You've got to wonder what sort of people go and why. Where is the moral code of behaviour and how do you stop jealousies and fights?" Cairns Catholic Bishop James Foley said after Fox's announcement. [Yahoo]

Don't worry, Bishop, we'll attend and send you entire rolls of film, plus letters and reams of paper explaining the events in full detail.

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Way #471 to Be Fired From Australian State Government: Semi-Naked Dancing

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 18:45:00 GMT

Apparently the joys of working as an Australian bureaucrat do not include being able to dance in your underwear at a parliamentary office party.

Don't believe us? Just as newly resigned police minister of New South Wales, Matt Brown, about his "semi-naked" dance.

The resignation came on the eve of an unsourced report in national newspaper The Australian that Brown danced in "very brief" underpants to techno music on a leather couch during a drunken late night party in his Parliament House office three months ago. He was then housing minister.

First of all, what are "very brief" underpants? It's like a thong, right? Why would Matt Brown have been wearing a thong? Maybe the Times Online can be a little more specific about the incident.

Witnesses at the party, including MPs and Labour staffers, claimed Mr Brown, 36, dressed only in "very brief" underpants had gyrated to loud techno music on a green leather Chesterfield sofa, then "mounted the chest" of fellow MP Noreen Hay. A witness told The Australian newspaper that he called out to Ms Hay's adult daughter during the performance: "Look at this, I'm tittie-f****ing your mother."

Wow. OK. When tittie-f***ing someone's mom, best to have it all hanging out there.

And we thought semi-naked dancing was in the job description for Australian housing ministers. No wonder we didn't get a second interview when we applied for the job.