Scanner : axl rose

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:18:00 GMT

Denis Leary can't escape controversy if he tries.

Geffen is blaming Axl Rose for the flop that is Chinese Democracy. Releasing the album exclusively to Best Buy stores and not really promoting that fact may not have been the blockbuster idea of the century either, dumbass.

Someone send these people a lifetime supply of birth control pills, stat: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag want to have children.

Friends guest stars are trying to boost the ratings of just about every show. Now, Courtney Cox is guesting on the January 6 episode of Scrubs.

MTV is feeling the crunch-- and so will its employees.

Iraqi women are back on the road.

Jessica Alba + swimsuits + Campari is an ad campaign we can get behind.

And Paris Hilton's second album may not come out. Pass the Campari, baby!

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Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:12:00 GMT

Fox News just got a little less liberal. (Bet you didn't know that was possible.) Hannity and Colmes will now just be, um, Hannity. [Yahoo]

Dr. Pepper was giving away free soda to celebrate the release of Guns 'N Roses' long-anticipated Chinese Democracy. Apparently, though, the high demand for free drinks crashed the beverage makers' website, leaving rock fans everywhere thirsty and disappointed. [Vulture]

Did you know Jason Lee was married? Neither did we. [Us]

Who else got secretly married?

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. As if you care. Sorry. [People]

R. Kelly's nephew has been charged with attempted murder after a brawl in a barbershop. [MTV]

Was John McCain the only one who didn't know "suspending" his campaign was a terrible idea? Scanner Brian totally called it. [Political Wire]

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:23:00 GMT

The Frisky points us to a study that determined that Playboy Playmates get "older, heavier, and taller" in these, um, lean times.

Tom Jones spent the day busking for charity. Unfortunately, he would have raised more money by auctioning off a pair of tighty-whities.

Our hero of the day: a woman was robbed of the purse containing her green card. At the risk of great personal safety, she did what again?

A feisty Harlem woman turned the tables on three subway muggers, chasing down two of the thugs while snatching back her purse - because it had her green card in it, cops said yesterday.
As she continued to grab at the muggers, they decided they had enough. One of them begged Conde to let go of his accomplice.

"Leave him alone!" the thug cried out. "He's my friend!"

The gang gave up and ran away, leaving the purse on the ground. [NY Post]

Speaking of dumb robbers, this guy may be the dumbest ever: he robbed a convenience store, his stolen getaway vehicle broke down, and the taxi took him right back to where he started, where he was promptly arrested.

If you have sex with a prostitute who was human trafficked to the U.K., you could be charged with rape under a new law. Quite rightly: if a guy knows a hooker is being held against her will, he should do serious hard time. Didn't you guys ever see Lilya-4-Ever?

And as the world readies for the imminent release of Chinese Democracy, MTV looks back at Axl's finest hours.

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Led Zeppelin May Have A New Singer... And It's Amazin'...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:23:00 GMT

...if it's true, of course.

In the months since their first show in decades, Led Zeppelin has been the subject of dozens of rumors about billion-dollar tours, new lead singers, new albums, and in-fighting among its original members. Now all that appears to have been brushed aside and the band is about to unveil its actual new singer, which is great news for the music business...

From bassist John Paul Jones:

"As you probably know, Jimmy, Jason, and I are actually rehearsing and we've had the odd singer come in and have a bash. As soon as we know -- which we don't -- we will let you know. But we really hope that something is going to happen soon because we really want to do it and we're having a lot of fun, actually, just rehearsing. Jason is actually tremendous. . . We really wanna do something and Robert doesn't want to do this, at least for the moment. I don't really know what his plans are. He really doesn't want to make loud music anymore. We do. I mean, I love acoustic music, but it doesn't stop me from turning something up . . . And what we've done so far sounds absolutely fantastic. When it does come, it will come, and you'll know about it."

Here's the singer the rumor mill believes is about to be offered the job, having rehearsed with the band over the past weeks:

Think about it: the only decent replacement for Robert Plant, right? For example, picture Steven Tyler doing the end of "Stairway to Heaven" ("and she's buuuyyying...") and then try to picture anyone besides his predecessor pulling it off without sending us all into fits of uncomfortable laughter. We can also picture him finding the right balance of matching Plant's recorded performance and bringing his own personality to the proceedings.

Plus, as evidenced on the bootleg of Zeppelin's reunion show last year, Plant can't really carry those songs anymore. Will Tyler be able to?

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Sloppy Seconds: John Cusack's Stalker is Neither Off the Hook or Unattractive

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Are you surprised that there's an official Sarah Palin sex doll on the market? [The Frisky]

Guns 'n Roses Chinese Democracy, the follow-up to the band's 1991 Use Your Illusion, is really, finally coming out November 23. For real. Finally. [MTV]

Anna Wintour is in looooove! [Radar]

Poor Hugh Hefner. He's "in the dumps" after one of his lady friends left him. Perhaps one of the other two can console him? [People]

Because what TV executive hasn't been a gay porn star? [Defamer]

We can't really blame a girl for stalking John Cusack; who hasn't imagined him standing outside her window, wearing a terribly charming trench coat and holding a boom box over his head? So forgive us if we have a little pity on Emily Leatherman, the woman accused of stalking Cusack. Wednesday, judge rejected a plea bargain that would have allowed Leatherman to avoid state prison. If she ends up there, we'll send her casseroles. Totally without nail files baked into them! [Yahoo!]

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Sloppy Seconds: Demi Moore And Her Boob Squirt

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Strip clubs in Denver are reporting a decline in business... just since the DNC began.

Why is anyone surprised Axl Rose doesn't bother with pickup lines? If we were him, we wouldn't either... although, um, we probably still wouldn't put it quite like he did.

Scariest headline of the day, via CNN: Airline removes life vests to lighten load

Sheryl Crow, Stevie Wonder and "i.am" John Legend join obvious choice will.i.am to close out tonight's convention.

We barely even remember hearing about this movie, and now it's getting a sequel?

Your boyhood idols: where are they now?

Just in case, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty has canceled his weekend interviews.

Kimora Lee Simmons denies she's pregnant. Meaning someone reportedly cared enough to print that she may have been.

Do you believe this story:

Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone has accused Demi Moore of deliberately squirting breast milk at his gay friends.

We don't.

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Sloppy Seconds: Carmen Electra's Stripping Tips

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:43:00 GMT

A Baltimore cult starved a 19 month old to death for not saying "amen" before eating dinner. His mother, who was a member of 1 Mind Ministries, has been charged with first-degree murder, which suddenly seems insufficient for prosecuting criminals of this magnitude.

Jason Statham was physically removed from the Playboy Mansion, but it's not for stealing Hugh's stable of blonds...

The members of Velvet Revolver may have chosen their new frontman...

...we hope the rumors of Lenny Kravitz being spotted in a recording studio with the band turn out to be totally untrue.

Is this condom ad too bizarre to be sexy or what?

Let's hope Scarlett Johansson doesn't try another cover album.

This woman lost part of her lawsuit settlement because she'd had some amount of alcohol, any amount of alcohol, at the time she was sexually assaulted.

And not to make light of the above, but we conclude with Carmen Electra's stripping tips, some of which include:

"There's a little trick that I've learned from a few dancers, if you wear thigh-high boots, then you don't hurt your legs as much if you're doing pole work. If you do it, you've got to let go and just feel it. It's okay to sort of learn the steps and know what you're going to do with your movement, but once you get there you just have to let it all go. Don't fake it," she said...

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