Scanner : baby names

Sloppy Seconds: The Summer Days of Our Slutty Lives

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 May 2009 23:09:00 GMT

Sandra Bullock is "not sure" she wants kids. Apparently this warrants a news story. [Us]

We blame South Park for making us laugh every time we see the word "probe" no matter the context. Today's laughable headline: "Police, 50 Cent see house fire probe differently." Sort-of sounds like something that could be cleared up with a little Preparation H, right? [Yahoo!]

As long as we can remember Emily has been one of the top 10 baby names for girls. This year, we're at number three. And we're pretty sure we've dated at least one of each from the baby boy section. [SSA.gov]

Sorry for the late notice on Free Chocolate Day. [The Inquisitr]

Firtexting: apparently more than just a thing to do when you want some booty. A site? A book? A worldview? [BuzzFeed]

Apparently all of those soap operas we watched with the summer between first and second grade (and second and third and third and fourth and fourth and fifth... well, you get the picture) turned us slutty. [KIDK]

[Image]

Historic Non-Event: Angelina Jolie Gives Birth To Twin Humanoids

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:42:00 GMT

More important than "who's the father," the question of the day is actually "did they continue the long-standing tradition of celebrities giving their kids unusual, even bizarre names?" The answer is a vigorously-nodded "yes."

First InTouch reported Saturday afternoon that sources at La Fondation Lenval Hospital in Nice, France, said Jolie had given birth to twin girls. They said Angie delivered by cesarean on Saturday at 6 p.m. and had two girls, one born at 6:45, the other at 7.

But -- and it was a pretty big but -- Extra reported that the twins had not been born. They quoted hospital spokeswoman Nadine Bauer as saying that the InTouch report was "false information."

The spokeswoman insisted that journalists would not be notified "within minutes after the birth" and that the only way they would be told was by a press release posted on the hospital website.

Then Us Weekly said that French newspaper Nice-Matin had reported that Jolie had delivered a boy... and a girl.... They said Jolie gave birth shortly before 8 p.m. via cesarean section.

We really didn't need to know all that, but wouldn't it have been great if Brad and Angelina (we refuse to combine their first names-- fuck the New York Post culture) kept this back and forth going for weeks until people stopped caring or even believing the couple had any kids at all.

Now, here's the fun part: Can you guess which combination makes up the actual names of their twins?

a) Raven Bertrand and Haven James

b) Nadine Reade and Nathaniel Maximus

c) Lara Sage and Homer James Pitt

d) Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline

The answer is...

Jolie... delivered a boy named Knox Leon and a girl named Vivienne Marcheline... each twin weigh[ing] about 5 pounds.

Via the LA Times.

Did Keith and Nicole Name Their Baby Sunday to Spite Tom Cruise?

Emily Farris — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 20:01:00 GMT

Because if so, that would be kind-of great. Not that using your kid to wage a media war against your ex-husband is something to be proud of, but considering Nicole's ex is Tom Cruise, and he is bat-shit crazy, we'd be pretty impressed.

“Nicole is a Catholic, and Sunday was an important religious day for her until she was involved in Scientology,” at source told Scoop. “She’s still bitter about her experience with Scientology and the fact her baby’s name could be perceived as one last jab doesn’t exactly upset her.”

Unfortunately, we don't buy that theory.

We're more likely to believe that Kidman and Urban picked out the name Sunday long before the Monday she was born, because Urban has apparently had already written a song by the same name about the baby.

[Scoop via Jossip]

Related:

Nicole Kidman Pregnancy, Confirmed Therefore it Is

Shocker: Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Marriage A Sham!

25 Years of Tom Cruise Being A Self-Important Jackass Went By So Quickly

Catch the Tom Cruise Scientology Video Before LRH's Goons Start Breaking Servers

Tom Cruise Likes Katie Holmes in a Suit..Oh, Right, and "a Mini"

Sloppy Seconds: Just How Good is Mini Me In Bed?

Emily Farris — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:16:00 GMT

We'd be so pissed if our sibling wrote a book about us and spilled all of our secrets. Apparently, Madonna isn't as close to her brother as we are to our sister. [Queerty]

Christina Applegate's ex-boyfriend Lee Grivas was found dead from an apparent drug overdose. [People]

Ashley Alexandra Dupre has decided to drop her $10M lawsuit against Joe "Boobies" Francis. [Radar]

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban welcomed baby Sunday Rose Kidman Urban into the world today. [Yahoo]

We like to look at Ryan Gosling. Do you? [Daily Stab]

Ranae Shrider, the woman from Mini Me Verne Tryoer's sex tape, would like you to know that what he lacks in size he makes up for in technique. [MollyGood]

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While You Were Sleeping: Somebody Had Her Hands All Over Our Man Ryan Gosling

Hey Ash, Long Time, No See (And Nice Tat!)

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Jessica Alba Finally Pops Out a Baby

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:49:00 GMT

Is it us, or did it seem like Jessica Alba was pregnant for-evah? No more, boys and girls. She finally popped the thing out on Saturday. So everyone please give a warm welcome to...

... little Honor Marie Warren.

No wonder Alba and her long-time boyfriend Cash Warren ran off and got married last month. You can't name a bastard child Honor, now can you?

[FameCrawler: Jessica Alba Names Her Baby!]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Jessica Alba Did What?

Have You Seen Jessica Alba's Rack, er Belly, Lately?

Which Co-Star Was Afraid of Jessica Alba's Naked Body Before She Was Pregnant?

Jessica Alba Likes "Some Ass"

Jessica Alba's Pregnant -- And Babble Totally Called It

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jamie Lynn Spears a MILF?

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:12:00 GMT

Supermodel/scary lady Naomi Campbell was arrested today at London's Heathrow airport for allegedly spitting at a police officer.

Yes, Jessica Alba is hot. This does not mean she is good at picking baby names. Maybe her fiancé, Cash, had something to do with it?

"It is very comfortable, it's not heavy or scratchy or anything," model Danielle Luminita said of the $122,000 diamond thong she recently sported for a fashion show in Singapore.

Say it ain't so: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are planning a private getaway? Things must be really bad for K-Fed because the only time we've considered reuniting with our ex was when we were feeling really, really bad about ourselves. Cheer up, Kev, and take a vacation alone. It really does help.

Ladies, we hope you already knew this, but Babeland reminds us that the best way to get rid of menstrual cramps is to masturbate. Really, it's the best way to treat any pain; sucks when you break you right arm...

It's kind-of cute that Mick Jagger is trying to look as tall as his date, but even in lifts he's not quite there. Just embrace the fact that you have a tall, hot girlfriend, Mick!

We just had a terrifying thought: does one have to be of legal age for fucking to be considered a MILF? When Jamie Lynn Spears pops out 'lil Spears, will men consider her a MILF? We shudder at the (illegal) thought... We're thinking "MILF" should be retired. We don't know too many moms who aren't hot. What about GILF?