Scanner : balding

While You Were Sleeping: Pete Wentz Exposes... His Past

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:45:00 GMT

Celebrity Headline of the AM: "What can't Ashton do?" Nope, we didn't read the story.

Non-Celebrity Headline of the Day: New Zealand Airline seeks bald men to use as walking billboards

The Daily Mail has discovered the best way to make someone fall in love with you: take them on a rollercoaster rid e.

Usher is going to have another baby! Well, Tameka Foster is, but who wants to read about her, right? Usher's having a baby...!

Pete Wentz (AND HIS LARGE PENIS) are fessing up about all the drugs (penis!) and alcohol.

Natasha Bedingfield is engaged. Believe it or not, this was a top story on every news site this morning.

And is it a sign that mainstream will start to go independent instead of the other way around? Sonic Youth confirms they are signing with Matador Records.

Related:

Crush of the Week: Pete Wentz

Are You One Of The Sexy People?

Sloppy Seconds: Eva Longoria's Lingerie Past

Top 10 Funniest Slang Terms For Masturbation

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Did you know there are over one thousand substitutes for the word "masturbation," all created by skateboarding hipster kids in Southern California?

The makers of The Masturbation List did, and shared all 1,000 terms (mainly guys can use) with us. We whittled (!) it down to a Top 10:

10. Slobbin' the Milosevich

9. Answer the bone-a-phone

8. Play with Burt Reynolds' mustache

7. Beef-strokin'-off

4. Ben your Franklin

6. Date Palmela Handerson

5. "Just need a little time with my e-mail, that's all..."

4. Lubricate the Lutheran

3. High-five Yule Brenner

2. Our Gang Spanky Marathon

1. Pat the Robertson

And yes, we read all one thousand to bring you this pointless exercise... yes, we have that kind of time...

Honorable mentions: Vote Republican, Bash the bishop, Battle the Cyclops, Rub the rhubarb, Fire the surgeon general; Molest the bystander; Five knuckle shuffle; Go down to the zipper mart to pick up a pound of pork; and Paint Pontius Pilate's Palace.

Via the Masturbation List. Photo of John Mayer via Celeb Newswire.

Related:

Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach Porn Techniques...

The Top 10 Songs About Masturbation

Ayveq the Masturbating Walrus is Dead at 14

A Walk in the Sexy Park

Connecticut Teens Busted For Classroom BJ

Pam And Tommy Lee Back In The Swing Of Things

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jenna Jameson Moving from Porn to Politics?

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:41:00 GMT

Soccer moms across America would drunkenly make out with Jackie from Bravo's "Work Out." You know, if they had to choose a lady to make out with. [Fleshbot]

If you are one of those moms and would like to see Jackie's digitally-enhanced nipples, go here. [CityRag]

There are so, so many things wrong with the idea of R. Kelly remixing a Mariah Carey track. So, so many. [MTV]

Jude Law is losing his hair. He is still hot as hell. If not hotter. Little Jude is growing up. [FameCrawler]

No, Jenna Jameson isn't runnung for office (sorry), but she is dipping her toes in the political waters, or so she thinks. [GabbyBabble]