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Crazy Baby Lady Is, In Fact, A Crazy Baby Lady

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:17:00 GMT

The Crazy Baby Lady, otherwise known as Nadya Suleman, gave her first interview to NBC's Ann Curry yesterday (we wonder how much she got paid for that!). The interview won't air for a few days, but at least now we know why she felt so compelled to have fourteen babies, as a single mother, by age 33. And we know what she looks like!

On how an only child ended up with 14 children: “That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and– I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up. I was lacking a feeling of self and identity. I didn’t feel as though, when I was a child, I had much control of my environment. I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn’t functional. It was pretty— pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn’t? ”

On how long before she first got pregnant: “Well, I went through about seven years of trying. And– through artificial insemination. And through medication. And all of which was unsuccessful. And then the first—IVF procedure from that—from that facility—it was successful. And then I just kept going in.”

Um, yeah. We're no psychiatrists, but we're fairly certain she now very officially qualifies as a crazy baby lady.

[Faded Youth: THE MOTHER OF OCTUPLETS TALKS]

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Emily Farris — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:09:00 GMT

We'd be bragging about calling this one last week, but you'd have to be an idiot not to think the mother of octuplets (plus another six) wasn't going to seek media deals to keep those kiddies fed. At first we thought she'd go for her own show on TLC, but apparently she knows she has blown Jon and Kate Plus 8 out of the water and is going straight to the media major leagues.

The Crazy Baby Lady, otherwise known as Nadya Suleman, is seeking $2 million from media outlets and commercial endorsements. And though she's still recovering from carrying and giving birth two eight babies, she has plans to talk to Oprah and Diane Sawyer.

The 33-year-old's family admits she needs cash from media deals, which makes us wonder how the hell she paid for the in vitro fertilization in the first place. We hate to sound like our mom—she used to bitch about women having more babies so their welfare checks would increase—but DAY-UM, we hope Oprah pays someone else to take those babies away from her.

[Times of London: Octuplets’ mother wants Oprah to turn her into a $2m TV star]

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Crazy Baby Lady Puts Crazy Cat Ladies to Shame

Emily Farris — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:57:00 GMT

The media has been all over the story of the unidentified woman who recently gave birth to octuplets, some outlets glorifying her while others criticize. I am on the critical end, especially after learning that her doctors offered early on to reduce the number of embryos following the in vitro fertilization that led to the multiple pregnancy. But after a family acquaintance revealed what the woman's home life is like, I'm starting to believe she's just a crazy baby lady.

The 33-year-old single mother lives with her parents and already has six children, including twins. But it gets worse.

Apparently, the woman's family filed for bankruptcy a year-and-a-half ago, and abandoned their home.

I know a woman has a right to have as many children as she desires, but how many is too many? I love cats, and would love to have 14 to curl up with on a cold day, but I know enough to realize I cannot take care of 14 cats. How will a 33-year-old single mother take care of 14 children, all under the age of seven? Even with the help of her bankrupt parents, it seems near impossible. Especially since the octuplets were born so early they're probably going to have special needs.

Unfortunately, once she reveals her identity she'll probably be further glorified and given her own show on TLC.

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While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Wants To Be Used... For Her Brain

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:08:00 GMT

The guy who ate the last mango in Paris passed away in Key West. (By the way, to get the song out of your head, listen to it here.)

See, raising a public stink does send the right message sometimes: a baby born in India to a surrogate mother was allowed to leave with her Japanese father, even though the law says her mother was supposed to accompany here.

Guess who helped Ryan Reynolds at the New York City Marathon? And no, it wasn't Scarlett Johansson...

"(During the race) I thought a lot about my father [who had Parkinson's] and Michael and the 500,000 other people afflicted with this awful disease in the United States alone. I ran for those who can't...

"When I saw Michael J. Fox on Fifth Avenue, I gained about 15 pounds in goose bumps. It kind of pushed me through the last six miles or so."

It's possible a man with the last name of Kennedy could have just set George W. Bush's public disgrace in motion...

A judge has ordered the Justice Department to produce White House memos that provide the legal basis for the Bush administration's post-Sept. 11 warrantless wiretapping program.
U.S. District Judge Henry Kennedy Jr. signed an order Friday requiring the department to produce the memos by the White House legal counsel's office by Nov. 17. He said he will review the memos in private to determine if any information can be released publicly without violating attorney-client privilege or jeopardizing national security.

Kennedy issued his order in response to lawsuits by civil liberties groups in 2005 after news reports disclosed the wiretapping.

Paris Hilton says men used her for sex. That's just not true, dear, we love you for your brilliant intellect.

Circuit City is going to close more than 150 stores, rumor has it.

The more we hear about Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno movie, the better it sounds. Check out where he ended up yesterday. By the way, the above photo is of Governor Ahnuld getting accosted by Bruno and the Bruno film crew: some say it was staged for the film, which is entirely possible, although Schwarzenneger has not made a cameo in years. We, however, want to remind you that the Governor of California could never act well enough to make the above, very-convincing "distress face" on cue...

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

The new exhibit on sex and politics opened at the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

Ex-NBA star Kevin Johnson's run for the Mayor of Sacramento may be in jeopardy after it was revealed he (may have) used AmeriCorps members that were working with his nonprofit do personal errands for him. Oh, and there is the whiff of sex, too.

You'll never guess which celebrity is converting to the Jewish faith to please his girlfriend...

Irish actor Colin Farrell is reportedly abandoning his Catholic faith to convert to Judaism for new girlfriend Emma Forrest. [Farrell] has been dating British novelist Forrest since June, but the romance appears to be turning serious. [Starpulse]

A stolen Renoir was recovered in Italy three decades later.

An assistant principal who had a torrid affair-- with a 17-year-old female student-- will spend the next two years with big burly men.

A man in Brisbane is accused of stroking a latex vagina in front of two women. We're not sure why either.

The Playboy Mansion and the rest of Hugh Hefner's empire could be in trouble if he doesn't lay off some of his staff, according to recent rumors.

The best missed connection we saw this morning:

WHITE MALE LOOKING FO ASIAN WOMEN - m4w - 52 (QUEENS -LI)
I AM A WHITE MALE AND I NEVER HAD AN INDIAN WOMEN AND WOULD LIKE TO EXPERENCE IT. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE WRITE BACK WITH A PICTURE AND YOUR AGE.

And Scarlett Johansson married Ryan Reynolds in Canada. Words escape us to aptly describe this tragedy.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Is eugenics still being practiced in Louisiana? A politician there wants to give women $1,000 to tie their tubes in order to reduce the welfare rolls.

Although Shia LaBeouf's license is going to be suspended, he won't be charged with a DUI in his recent car crash.

Which American celebrity is Damien Hirst's latest, humiliated subject?

A well-known British artist who has made collage portraits of President Bush and Paris Hilton out of porn magazine images is exhibiting the pictures at a gallery in New York.
A gallery spokeswoman says Jonathan Yeo's portrait of Hilton was bought by the artist Damien Hirst ahead of Thursday's opening.

Hirst is offering Hilton a cut of the sales because she never received "royalties" from her sex tape. Huh? Whatever.

Will Sarah Michelle Gellar return to television? For HBO?!

You thought it made sense for that woman to sleep with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket? This guy would have to have marry the cop to get out of his two million bucks in parking tickets.

Some gas station owner in Michigan dropped prices and made up the difference selling T-shirts.

JP Morgan will buy Washington Mutual.

Planned Parenthood doesn't quite understand how, but it's getting thousands of donations in Sarah Palin's name. It wouldn't be so weird if, um, Sarah Palin supported anything PP stood for.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 21:01:00 GMT

Are you better off now than you were in 1999? We seriously doubt it, although this chart may make you think you're making the same money you were then: nice try, thanks for (not) factoring in cost of living increases, dumbasses.

Charlize Theron at the DNC: No, I won't get married.

Speaking of marriage: Are we upset or could we care less that this movie star got hitched?

Asia Argento has wed in Tuscany, Italy.
The actress married director Michele Civetta on Wednesday in a civil ceremony at the city hall in Arezzo. The 32-year-old daughter of Italian moviemaker Dario Argento was previously engaged to actors Michael Pitt and Vincent Gallo but she never married.

One million new bankruptcies have been filed this week. Just kidding, it was over the last 12 months. Phew!

What does a country gotta indict somebody for in order to get rid of him? Senator Ted Stevens won his primary yesterday.

Today in the Apocalypse: Rat meat is in high demand in Cambodia, thanks to the economy.

Awww, man... the nun beauty pageant has been canceled for the usual, predictable reasons.

You probably heard about Eva Longoria's early forays into lingerie. If that's your kind of thing, you'll definitely want to check out The Superficial's posting of seven-year-old photos, most of which have been virtually unseen, at least on the internet. Here (and above), a taste:

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How Senator Schumer Caused The Second Largest Bank Failure In US History

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:10:00 GMT

If you had money in IndyMac, a Pasadena, CA-based bank that collapsed over the weekend, there's good news and bad news. Bad news is: it's gone, baby, gone. Good news: Your tax dollars, in the form of $4 to $8 billion, will take care of that little problem.

IndyMac's doom had been long in coming: the stock price was tanking, lately seen below the $1 mark, and investors were yanking more than a hundred million a day from the company, which had gotten carried away with the handing out of mortgages during the housing boom. But it was the work of one man, with one stroke of his pen, that ended up finishing the company off... and costing all some pretty pennies...

IndyMac, which once employed 10,000, fell prey to a classic run on the bank, and regulators singled out Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) as having helped to fuel massive withdrawals. On June 26, Schumer said in letters to the FDIC, the OTS and two other federal agencies that IndyMac might have "serious problems" with its loan holdings.

"I am concerned that IndyMac's financial deterioration poses significant risks to both taxpayers and borrowers," he wrote. The bank "could face a failure if prescriptive measures are not taken quickly."

That public warning prompted depositors to pull $1.3 billion out of accounts between June 27 and Thursday.

"This institution failed today due to a liquidity crisis," John M. Reich, director of the OTS, said at a news conference Friday afternoon. "Although this institution was already in distress, the deposit run pushed IndyMac over the edge."

Schumer said in a statement that the cause of IndyMac's failure was "poor and loose lending practices" that should have been prevented by more active regulation. Later, a Schumer spokesman said: "Mr. Reich, a political appointee, should be spending less time playing politics and more time doing his job."

Later in the statement, Schumer said: "I have no problem playing poltiics with enough money to feed every starving child in this country, or maybe about half of the fat people in Tennessee. Now just try and defeat me in an electoral contest!"

But he may have been misquoted. IndyMac's failure is the largest since 1984. You can read more about this sotry at the LA Times website.

Gadget Porn: Sharper Image Files for Bankruptcy

Bryan Christian — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 20:41:00 GMT

How the fuck are we gonna ionize our breezes now?

[Link]