Nothing Golden Can Stay: Bea Arthur, RIP

Colleen Kane — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:30:00 GMT

Bea Arthur, best known for her Emmy-winning roles on Maude and Golden Girls and her ongoing role in our hearts, died on Saturday after a battle with cancer. (Might we refer you to the January Scanner post Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009. Bea is the first from that list to kick off.)

Bea's commanding presence and acerbic wit-via-man-voice combo will never be duplicated, although many drag queens will come close. Unlike the case with some older comic figures, Bea still made us LOL into her final years, like doing her turn on Comedy Central's celebrity roast of Pamela Anderson, as she placidly read aloud a sodomy-themed excerpt from Pamela's book Star Struck (of course we have this for you after the jump). She was a feminist icon, a gay icon, and an animal rights supporter. What was not to love?

Let's look at some Scanner-appropriate moments from Bea's career.

The Golden Girls buy condoms.

And then there's Maude considering abortion.

Sniff Swig Puff, with Rock Hudson

The Sex and the City Parody.

Finally, that reading on Pamela's celebrity roast.

*Sigh* We've lost a great. Bea Arthur will be missed.

And then there were two...

You're Golden, Baby: Estelle Getty Leaves Us Laughing At Age 84

Sloppy Seconds: Happy Bea Day!

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

Colleen Kane — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:40:00 GMT

No one could have called Heath Ledger's untimely demise in 2008, but there are some olds who just take on that look of imminent death, as if their essence is draining away. It won't be long once someone takes on the death look, and no one seems to ever shake it off. Paul Newman had it this year. (RIP, Best Guy to Die in 2008.) The ones with the death look are dancing a tango with the Grim Reaper as we speak. Another dead giveaway is if you are reminded about an older celebrity and can't remember if they're dead or not.

The ones in grave danger, a few wild cards, and an example of the death look, after the jump.

Old Hollywood: Mickey Rooney -- He is going to be 89 if he makes it to his birthday in September. Unfortch, he has two factors working against him: the death look, and I couldn't remember if he was still alive or not until looking him up. Runners-up: Elizabeth Taylor, Peter O'Toole, Kirk Douglas

Comics: Don Rickels -- He's got the death look, big time.

If he makes it through 2009, I'll eat my hat. Runners-up: Jerry Lewis, Bea Arthur (too much of a loss to celebrity roasts to contemplate), Phyllis Diller, Carol Burnett

Too Soon: Amy Winehouse -- It wouldn't be surprising if she woke up dead after some party night. I hope not, but it wouldn't be surprising. Runners-up: Swayze -- He's never looked so gaunt; there may be some truth to the rumors that his cancer is getting the best of him.

Classic Country: Merle Haggard -- He's got the cancer. Lung cancer. Runners-up: Loretta Lynn and Willie Nelson, not because they appear to be on death's door, but because that would be just my luck if they died before I got to see them perform live. (I will forever regret missing out on Johnny Cash.)

Rock and Soul: Fats Domino -- Death look. And I didn't realize he was still alive until he got airlifted out of the Ninth Ward during Katrina. Runners-up: Etta James -- I forgot she was still alive until Beyonce's recent portrayal.

Leaders: Ted Kennedy. Runners-up: Jimmy Carter, Fidel Castro, if he's still alive and not propped up for photo ops a la Weekend at Bernie's, Kim Jong-Il, if he's not already dead with an imposter or several in his place as many news reports have speculated. We have another slight possibility in mind that would also be filed under Too Soon and would involve an assasination, but it's too unthinkable to even write.

Sports: I hate sports, so who the F knowss

How Are They Still Alive: Abe Vigoda

Did I miss anyone obvious?

Related:

Scanner : bea arthur

Nothing Golden Can Stay: Bea Arthur, RIP

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

You're Golden, Baby: Estelle Getty Leaves Us Laughing At Age 84

Sloppy Seconds: Happy Bea Day!

Famous People We're Afraid Will Die in 2009

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