Kiwis Krazy for Shirtless Servers

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 22:50:00 GMT

First, there were breastaurants. Now, New Zealand has started a new trend-- dudes dressed like Chippendales dancers waiting on you, hand and foot, in a dining establishment...

They even have a company name that's too absurd to be true, so, of course, it is: Strip of Meat. Man meat, of course. The two gents pictured above are in charge of the waiter-for-hire operation, which is sort of like when Park Avenue socialites called up a Rent-A-Beatnik service in Greenwich Village in 1958 and amused themselves by listening to bad, "deep" poetry. Except with more pecs.

"I wasn't even wearing an apron, just a pair of underpants and a bow tie.

"It was a bit raunchy and made me realise there is a market out there."

The topless waiters were definitely not strippers and would normally be dressed in black trousers with an obligatory bow tie, he said.

Strip of Meat had already done a few hen's nights in Wellington but were also available for baby showers, dinner parties and even corporate functions.

Sign up now, ladies and (gay) gents, as the national news media has already ensured they'll be booked for the next 26 years, until they're all flabby from garbage-mouthing foie gras in your kitchen.

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Jack Kerouac's New Year's Resolutions

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:01:00 GMT

Jack Kerouac is dead, so obviously these are what we call "vintage" rules to live by. (In fact, this coming year will mark the 40th Anniversary of the Beat Generation writer's death, which was due to cirrhosis of the liver.)

And while these chunks of wisdom, taken from his Belief and Technique in Modern Prose (or, at least, the style of rapid-fire modern prose he invented and brought down with him), are geared toward writers, they are words to live by in 2009-- so says us:

Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy
Submissive to everything, open, listening
Try never get drunk outside your own house
Be in love with your life
Something that you feel will find its own form
Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
Blow as deep as you want to blow
Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
The unspeakable visions of the individual
No time for poetry but exactly what is
Visionary tics shivering in the chest
In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
Like Proust be an old teahead of time
Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
Accept loss forever
Believe in the holy contour of life
Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
You're a Genius all the time
Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

True, we don't understand half of what he says, but everyone can take a line or two and run with it. The man who once wrote "I want to marry my novels and have short stories for children" would have turned 86 this past year.

Via Wikipedia.

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