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World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:02:00 GMT

On Saturday afternoon, naked people took to their bicycles all over the Southern Hemisphere to protest the "indecent exposure" caused by carbon emissions. We're all for this campaign...

Above photos from Newcastle. Top photo from Sao Paulo.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2009 kicked off its first wave of protests in cities like Melbourne, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, and Lima. The Northern Hemisphere events are scheduled for June 13th and already include Krakow, L.A., London, Seattle, Amsterdam, Montreal, New Orleans, and many other major cities.

Perhaps the funniest photo of the day is this one, which doesn't even involve nudity. Check out that sexy pink bike!

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National Topless Day Is A Gigantic Success

Nude Beachgoers Run Rampant In The Streets...

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

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While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen Sends Topless Pic To Wrong Guy

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Marcia Cross' husband is being treated for cancer.

Tens of millions of credit/debit card numbers were compromised in a major security breach. The biggest problem-- we don't know which numbers were affected.

Amy Winehouse's father says she was near death on two occasions. Only two? We're guessing that's counting "continuously for 14 months" as one of the occasions...

Is this the kissing capital of the world? No, but the legend's pretty good.

This is the scariest police officer ever. And that includes the guy who attacked the Times Up cyclist.

We've all worried about calling the wrong "Steve" or "Jessica" in our phones, but now Lily Allen's got us freaked out about picture messaging our phone photos to the wrong person.

A 107-year-old African-American woman who knew MLK when he was a kid was beyond thrilled by Obama's inauguration.

And Ted Kennedy, who collapsed during the inaugural luncheon, having suffered a seizure, appears to be improving and is expected to leave .

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Boy Wages Internet Campaign To Stop Cussing, With Predictably Hilarious Results

C-Love in HEEB's Wasted Issue

This Week in Gayness: Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke Get Personal

75 Nude Bicyclists Rally Around Dad And His 3-Year-Old

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:02:00 GMT

Picture this: you're a cop in Vancouver, Canada. You have your doughnuts and your Molson Ice (or whatever it is you Canucks think is sooo awesome) and you're sitting there at your desk in the small city's proportionate precinct house, when all of a sudden...

...75 naked bicyclists swarm the station like a flash mob chained at hip, chanting and hollering at you for following orders...

It seems a nude bike ride turned chaotic when it was pointed out that a three-year-old boy was present and that his father was planning on taking both their clothes off. Event organizers got involved, the police were called, and the man agreed to keep the kid's underwear on. Sure enough, he was pulling a fake out, and the kid was seen riding around in the buff. Cops swooped in, the organizers pointed out the "perv," and he and his son were hauled away.

But it didn't end there, according to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

The father was arrested at the scene of the bike ride under public nudity laws.

Schmidt said the boy was in tears as police took him and his father away, and the arrest prompted the group to cycle through downtown Vancouver to the police station.
"The leaders of this event do not support what the guy did," one cyclist who declined to give her name told The Canadian Press. "I think that's wrong. The kid's a minor."

[Constable] McGuinness said it appeared the man afterward regretted his actions.

"When they were leaving (the scene) it was under the understanding that perhaps he hadn't shown the best judgment; there were a number of people that took offense to the child being naked in the group and subjected to people's scrutiny," she said. [Seattle PI]

Yeah, we don't think he showed the best parenting skills when he ripped the kid's clothes off in public... or when he decided it was okay to have the kid see naked people in mass numbers. (See, it would've been okay if the kid was to being around a lot of naked people-- but we're guessing this was the first time he was forced to take his clothes off in front of strangers. Speaking for ourselves, the whole thing would have made us ill at three years old, for sure.)

Via Flickr.

Related:

Expose The Cover Up-- This Saturday At The National Go Topless Day

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:41:00 GMT

We pointed out a recent nude bike protest against global warming, thinking it was a one-off thing by a couple of kooks. Who knew that it's actually been taken up by 70 cities... and has been an annual event since 2004?

Oh well... at least we were finally alerted to the photos on Flickr...

Hundreds of cyclists pedaled through the mean streets of St. Louis, Missouri Saturday night in a bid to raise awareness of alternatives to SUV's and high gas prices. ("You mean besides siphoning gas?) The ride began in a local park under the watchful, leering eyes of the bemused public, then continued for "16 kilometres," which is apparently an ancient unit of measurement.

St. Louis police were on hand to ensure the riders wore the bare minimum, which included thongs, pasties, loin cloths, bathing suits and even body painting.

However, officers didn't seem to notice one rider wearing nothing but a pink derby hat.

Pink derby hat! If anyone finds a photo of this participant, please send it along...

Story via AP sources.

Photos via Flickr.

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Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

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Here's A Promotional Idea: Park A Hot Tub Full Of Naked Women In Your Storefront Window

Newly Leaked Video Shows More Police Brutality Against Cyclists

Crush of the Week: Biker Who Protested Wal-Mart... By Taking Off Her Clothes

Newly Leaked Video Shows More Police Brutality Against Cyclists

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:47:00 GMT

We were tipped off to this video by a friend of ours who is part of Critical Mass and their case against the NYPD.

According to our source, the most prominent victim in this video is Richard Vasquez, taken down in Times Square, circa March of 2007. City Councilwoman Rosie Mendez is apparently working behind the scenes to get the charges dropped by dropped for these cyclists and that an investigation into police brutality be launched.

Critical Mass is held, generally on Friday nights, in dozens of cities around the world, including Budapest, Chicago, and San Francisco. According to an Information Week report on Tuesday, the infamous and other recent YouTube video of a Critical Mass rider being attacked by police has garnered hundreds of thousands of hits.

You can read that story here.

UPDATE: We're told this took place on March 30, 2007 and that Vasquez filed a claim against the officer who pushed him, which was upheld by the Civilian Complaint Review Board. More details to follow...

UPDATE: This photo is of Vasquez is from soon after the incident. Sorry about how brutal it is, but it's better to know the truth. Our source adds: "People ask, 'How could [the first incident] happen, with a rookie cop who's only been on the force for three weeks? You know, this is the culture of the NYPD: it starts with captains, then down to lieutenants, and just becomes ingrained..."

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Sloppy Seconds: What's Wrong With This Picture Of Brad Pitt?

Video of the Day: Al Sharpton Tries To Ride A Bike

I Want to Ride on the Handlebars of Your Bitchcruiser

Infamous Naked Lady To Parade Topless On July 4th

Crush of the Week: Biker Who Protested Wal-Mart... By Taking Off Her Clothes

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:45:00 GMT

The Consumerist alerted us to the sort of story we eat up: basically, anyone messing with Wal-Mart...

Here's what ReachHigher said on the BikeForums site about her brush with the poorly-paid brainwashed yokels the run her Virginia-area Wal-Mart. First, she rode her bike four miles to buy CD-r's, depsite her disdain for Wal-Mart's union busting, sweatshop labor, and intra-company racism and sexism (okay, we're all about helping your local community, but maybe borrowing some blanks from somebody else or ordering from Amazon would've been a valid move in this case.)

ReachHigher arrived to find no bike rack outside. She decided that since her beat-up bike cost $600 to replace, she couldn't risk losing it and so walked it into the store. (Apparently, this is a common thing in some places, although it would get you tackled and hospitalized in any city we've ever lived in.) An elderly employee (is there any other kind at Voldemart?) grabbed her by the arm and told her to ditch the bike. A manager backed the employee up, first saying that bicycles were sold in the store and therefore this one-- even though it wasn't sold in the store, looked old, and was clearly the customer's-- couldn't be allowed inside. The manager tried a variety of tactics before inspiration struck ReachHigher...

I asked her if they also sold shirts in the store. She said yes so I took off my jersey and said well then I'd better not bring this in either. She got kind of flustered and said that it was a different situation but couldn't explain why. So I said that if they also sold shorts in the store that I'd better not wear those in either and I took off my shorts. Same goes for the shoes and sunglasses. Now I'm standing there in my spandex and a sports bra and I ask here if I can leave my things behind the customer service counter where they will be safe until I finish making my purchases and she said that I couldn't come into the store without shoes on, to which i responded "but I certainly can't wear shoes into the store because you sell those here and someone might think I've stolen them." She threatened to call security if I didn't leave so I told her that I would never be coming back to that store again and that I was glad I hadn't driven there since the gas to go four miles was probably more expensive than what her underpaid employees make in an hour.

Her expression when the shirt came off was absolutely priceless...I was pretty tempted to take off the spandex too but I wasn't sure what constitutes indecent exposure in Virginia...

Here's the Getty Image the Consumerist chose for our girl. We'd like to think it was a match, although it doesn't really matter-- regardless of her looks, this girl is still our silly, strange, proud, fierce, and crazy Crush of the Week.

Via the Bike Forums and the Consumerist.

Top photo via Flickr.

Related:

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Video of the Day: Al Sharpton Tries To Ride A Bike

I Want to Ride on the Handlebars of Your Bitchcruiser

Infamous Naked Lady To Parade Topless On July 4th

Today in WTF: K-Mart Abstinence Pants

Nude Bicyclists Protest... Global Warming?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 17:10:00 GMT

The streets of Denver were thrown into chaos after a group of crazed hippies dared to ride after dark without their clothes on. While no arrests have been reported, readers of a local television station's website reacted as if the Taliban had thrown an orgy with Nazi teachers at a local elementary school.

A group of nude cyclists rode through the streets of the Mile High City on Saturday night in protest of high oil prices and global warming.

Get it? It's hot, so they had to ride the gas-free bikes naked.

Comments on the local NBC affiliate's website ranged from amused to angry to disappointed that there wasn't enough T&A:

Really? Really!? This is the best these people can do?
I really hope that people kept their kids inside, not appropriate!! They had one of these up in Boulder as well. I am all for free speech but come on!!!!!!!
I am all for global warming AND high gas prices!!! That being said, if there are any 20something hot women that want to protest, feel free to ride your bikes naked around my house. Camp out if you want! SEE IF I CARE!!!
Events like this are rarely ever pretty, unfortunately...
Urinate in public and become a sex offender. Ride a bike nude and send a message?
This creates a very unsafe situation, imagine the lawsuits for massive road rash should one of these idiots slip off their gunk soaked seats. Therefore, I propose, in the future, all seats be removed, leaving only the seat post. This will ensure they are all safely secured to their bikes. For an added level of safety, 15 inch speed bumps should be erected every 3 ft along the route. Remember; if it saves only one set of buttock skins, it's all worth it.....
looks like freaky-pervs.. we need to lock these weirdo's up.
both urinating in public and protesting naked are pretty stupid anyways, but if you can do one legally, why not the other

More photos and reactions via 9News. (Additional photos, including the above, here.)

Related:

Infamous Naked Lady To Parade Topless On July 4th

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Naked Rugby

Guys Who Ride Bikes: Your Balls Are In Danger!

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:04:00 GMT

A new report has just reminded us why we almost prefer taking public transportation...

News-Medical.net has a story featuring a London urological surgeon who warns men that, should they ride the wrong bicycle, they could do severe damage to their family jewels. He says that men who cycle over long distances and/or for long periods of time or ride mountain bikes should are more likely than the average person to suffer genital injuries, including numbness and erectile dysfunction.

"Cyclists can also help to ease saddle-related injuries or skin irritations by adjusting the saddle height and fore and aft position.

"Padding in the saddle and shorts are also important if cyclists want to avoid saddle-related problems."
He says that the problems to look out for include genital numbness, erection problems and soreness and skin irritations in the groin area.

Men who cycle a lot can also experience changes to their sperm function, because of the excessive heat generated in the pelvic area. No general link between cycling and male infertility has been established, but it is still recognised as a possible side effect and has been noted in a number of male cyclists.

Today in the Apocalypse: Man Injured in Mooning Prank Gone Wrong

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:13:00 GMT

Continuing signs of the coming apocalypse today in a variety of bizarre arrests and other News of The Weird exclusives. The Tampa, FL area continues to be a source of great amusement for Scanner bloggers-- today's story features a man brought in on felony charges for building a treehouse on a chemical company's forested property so he could feed his addiction to horse racing.

Raymond Rogers built hisself a fifteen-foot-high tree house in what he probably thought was some abandoned forest so he could use binoculars to eyeball the track. Rogers told police he had been banned from entering the grandstand itself after "causing problems with the customers." Hmmm...

Other signs of the coming apocalypse include:

Gawker reported on the above photo, which they claim is a real candid of a drunk driver showing up late to watch a Mexican bike race.

A mugger was chased down and busted by a man in a motorized wheelchair. And a 71 year old man.

Speaking of John McCain, he will try to steal the spotlight from the Democrats tonight by making a big speech about-- wait for it-- "change in America."

A Dutch 21-year-old male mortified patrons in a local restaurant by pressing his ass against the glass. The glass, as you probably guess, shattered into a bazillion pieces... and cut his ass off.

And in India, a man ordered his father murdered so he could ascend to his job on the day before the man was going to retire anyway and a married couple accidentally divorced ten years ago and they didn't even know it. Guess they saved a boatload on legal fees down the road...

Video of the Day: Al Sharpton Tries To Ride A Bike

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:33:00 GMT

Reverend Al Sharpton Rides a Bike! from jenchung on Vimeo.

It's hard to ride a bike when you're shaped like a bowling pin.

Al Sharpton participated in the Critical Mass Bike Ride in New York City over the weekend. Never one to miss out on the pigs clubbing innocent environmentalists, he was whisked to the kickoff by our mutual lawyer friend, Wylie Stecklow, who introduced the welcoming crowd to his Reverendness.

The former Democratic Presidential candidate called for the police to leave innocent, law-abiding cyclists alone (the NYPD has waged a relentless and totally uncalled for war on Critical Mass Bike Rides for many years now) and introduced Sean Bell's father and fiancee to the supportive crowd, who then geared up for the arrests and ticketing to come. The Reverend himself was probably too encircled by paparrazzi and amateur activist-journalists, all of whom were rushing to put this up on YouTube first.

P.S. In the future, Al, it may be better to accept labels like “limousine liberal” rather than attempt this adventure again. Although thanks for sticking up for us serfs!

Via Vimeo and the Gotham Gazette.

I Want to Ride on the Handlebars of Your Bitchcruiser

Emily Farris — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:32:00 GMT

I, Scanner Emily, admit that there are certain things on The Internets that should offend me. As a woman, a feminist, a person with a brain and a vagina, this Bitchcruiser bike is one of them. But all I can bring myself to do is laugh and share it with you. I wouldn't be caught dead riding one, but hope that you will (ride one, not be caught dead) and maybe, just maybe, I'll jump on the handlebars for a few blocks. More ~~positions~~ pictures after the jump.

[Gizmodo: Ride the Bitchcruiser Bike, But Wear Protection]