Scanner : blonde

Blonde-Redhead Muslim Woman Sues Bar Over (Conservative) Red Dress

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:41:00 GMT

It took everything in our being not to make Fata Lemes our Crush of the Week. She is without a doubt a perfect female specimen: reddish-blond hair, beautiful, European, classy, and unwavering in her convictions.

Of course, we refrained from insulting her in this fashion because her existence came to our attention because she is suing a Mayfair, U.K. establishment for making her way a rather conservative piece of attire, which she claims insults her religion and amounts to sexual harassment. Oh, and it didn't help that the customers regularly propositioned her with money-for-sex offers, an arrangement which the management may have been in on...

Here's the dress ~~the Love Of Our Lives~~ Ms. Lemes refused to wear:

Hardly revealing... unless, of course, you're a religious person, as Ms. Lemes certainly is. Lemes is a Muslim and, oddly enough, the owners saw no warning signs ahead in hiring such a conservative person for their admittedly "upscale Hooters" joint. Now they're about to be out 20,000 pounds plus lawyer's fees, assuming Lemes wins her lawsuit against them.

She chose a loose-fitting black shirt and trousers but said that on her second shift she was approached by two customers who told her they were looking for 'a blonde Scandinavian or Swedish girl for one or more nights'.
She said: 'It was obvious that they thought that I was Scandinavian. I politely refused the offer.

'I was offended by that offer. I considered the company must be indicating to guests that the bar was the type of bar where they could make sexual offers to staff.' [We didn't realize there were bars where customers didn't make passes at staff members, but okay...]

A few days later she was ordered to wear the red dress. [Daily Mail]

What do you think?

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British Airways Invites You To Join The Mile High Club

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:45:00 GMT

If this very angry wife is to be believed in her anonymous column in the Times, British Airways invited her husband and a total stranger to have sex in the first class section instead of, well, in the toilets.

It gets better...

In Part 1 of what we assume to be a three or four-part diary, a woman relates the story of how her husband started his affair by having sex with, as the wife puts it, "a 27-year-old blond." They met in coach, but were bumped when their loud conversation began to disturb the other passengers. (Oh, great, now everyone who reads this article is going to start shouting on an airplane just to get bumped to First Class.) It was there that they proceeded to have sex-- what, there was no one in First Class trying to sleep? Geez...

(If BA is the “World's Favourite Airline” then that flight must be the World's Most Misguidedly Accommodating.)

Anyway, oddly enough, the wife spends the rest of her diary attacking the woman in the slyest and most pathetic ways possible. The below lines are from her story of what happened after her husband gave the woman only his first name and the company he worked for:

So began an infatuated and obsessive affair that lasted several months and bloody nearly broke us before she was cast into the ether.
I also blame her because she turned out to be Miss Bunny Boiler, who was on a mission to get him, marry him and have his babies, whatever the cost. But I also blame Google. In the days before Google, sexwith a stranger on a plane could have gone no farther. A mere first name and an occupation would not have been enough even for the most determined Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction...

Wow... she just compared a harmless woman who fell for her husband to a fictional psychopath who boiled a little girl's rabbit alive and attempted to murder human beings. That seems fair.

It would have been a better thing if she had resisted the erotic charge of Googling my husband and left herself free to go off doing what she did best, namely whoring with other fantasists just panting to become members of the Mile High Club with a slut.

Why is the Times publishing this vindictive garbage? Clearly, this is one diary that should have been left locked up. However, if you'd like to read more of her diary, which includes virtually no attacks on the husband, click here.

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Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:34:00 GMT

A man in Martin County, Florida told the police he was roughed up and robbed of $100 in cash by a gang of shirtless, braless women.

The man insisted that he had been awake the entire time and was not making this up...

Here's the rundown: Olmar Morales, 18, was riding his bike to work on Saturday morning when a woman wearing overalls jumped out of nowhere and grabbed his, um, handle bar. Instantly, another four women surrounded him and took $100 from his back pocket. Riiiighht...

As if this story were unbelievable already, Morales claims that although the overall-wearing one was overweight and unattractive, the foursome were "thin and blond" and wore "overalls with no shirts and no bras." (The suspect could not positively identify Keira Knightley, seen above, as one of the suspects.)

The kicker-- the cops arrived at the scene soon after and could not find any of these alleged blondes in the area. Hmmm...

Sounds like he spent his 100 on a lap dance and then reported it stolen...
Right! This article left out one significant sentence....."and then he woke up".
Sounds like a Candid Camera episode complete with the clown car song playing in the background.

...that's pretty much the local reaction... and ours, as well...

Via TCPalm.

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Sarah Silverman Would Like You to Schlep Your Jew Ass To Florida...

McCain Blogette: Hot or Not?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:00:00 GMT

John McCain's blond blogger daughter, Meghan, is under tremendous pressure from her readers (and apparently the public at large, no pun intended) to shed a few pounds, Nicole Richie style.

Madeline Holler at Political Nanny has been covering this breaking new development in the Republican Presidential race. Oh wait, that's over, so this is about the only thing left to talk about: a skinny girl "needing" to lose weight.

Not only is it untrue that she's got some junk in the trunk, it needs to be said that even if she did, that has nothing to do with whether she's hot or not. There are plenty of very sexy, very doable women out there that are slightly overweight... like... like... well, do Scarlett Johansson's boobs count? They're pretty heavy.

Seriously, where do these people get off? (We've included most of McCain Blogette's entire post, below, since it's one of the most positive things to come out of the GOP camps this entire campaign. Dig[g] it.)

I've been surprised by critical comments regarding my weight and body shape. It recently reached a ridiculous level when someone handed me a business card for a plastic surgeon and suggested I needed liposuction. I am proud of my curves and have always loved my fuller figure, as should every woman who is not a size "0". I want to be a positive role model for my little sister and all of the other young women who read my blog and help perpetuate a more positive image for women, regardless of their body size. I feel empowered to tell everyone that it's important to maintain a healthy weight that works for them - not everyone is going to be model thin, nor should they expect to be. To every young girl reading this blog, it is inner beauty and happiness that makes a person beautiful, not a number on a scale.

Unfortunatley, she kills much of our good feeling for her by adding that her song of the day is "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble. Yawn.

[Link via: Political Nanny.]

[Top photo via Fox News. Bottom photos via ABC News.]

Caption This: Amy Winehouse Goes Platinum

Emily Farris — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:36:00 GMT

You all had such lovely things to say about her last week, so caption this (yeah, we know all the other blogs are doing it, but what kind-of pop culture bloggers would we be if we weren't jumping on, like, every band wagon?).

Best comment receives glory and the awe of your fellow Scanner readers.

[Image via People]

Blondes Have More Fun and Manage to Make You Look Stupid at the Same Time

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:00:00 GMT

This article just blew our minds a little bit, and we're not even blonde. Apparently, men act stupid around blonde women. The reason? "Bimbo delusion." When confronted with the stereotype of a dumb blonde, researchers believe men will mimic it and act dumb. Yeah, sounds totally implausible. But we appreciate the effort to understand why our brother always stubbed his toe, walked into walls, and drooled whenever our blonde friends came over in high school. Of course, now we're waiting for research to explain why he did that when all our brunette friends came over too.