Scanner : brazil

Whatever You Do, Don't Pack Lingerie for a Trip to England

Colleen Kane — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 20:52:00 GMT

So, apparently in the UK it's fine to turn away someone at the airport if the Border Agency doesn't approve of the wardrobe they've brought. In the case of a 32-year-old Brazilian woman, she was recently refused admission to Newcastle from Geneva when her luggage contained only T-shirts, lingerie, and a robe.

And this is illegal because...?

For one thing, the woman wouldn't specify her plans in Newcastle, other than seeing the city center. For another, she had been refused admission to the UK three months prior, when she attempted to fly into Belfast with sex toys and a list of escort services.

A spokesperson for the Border Agency said, "Visitors to the UK must play by the rules. Those who do not are refused entry and sent home." Sounds like this woman is guilty of being sexy! But what rules did she not play by? BBC News did not specify.

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This Week in Gayness: Fred Phelps Attacks London

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Australia is regressing into the past more and more every day: in addition to proposing a block on all terrorism-related websites (what, they don't have journalists in that country?), they want to block a lot of gay content.

John Kerry wants to reunite a gay couple. The Massachusetts Senator asked Attorney General Eric Holder to bring back a deported Brazilian man who was raped in his home country. A federal judge had said the rape was basically no big deal and he faced no danger in South America.

Rascal Flatts is telling people their new single, "Love Who You Love," has a pro-gay message.

A London elementary school has been teaching students that it's okay to have homosexual feelings and relationships. The best part of this is that when parents pull their kids from the school to avoid them hearing the lessons, the kids are marked truant. Of course, Fred Phelps heard about this and is bringing the Westboro Baptist Church over there to mess with them.

A federal judge ordered the state of Louisiana to put the names of both adopted fathers on a baby's birth certificate.

Chuck Schumer has finally come out... to back same-sex marriage.

And meanwhile, the Vermont Senate turned their gay civil unions into gay marriages. Woo-hoo!

Related:

This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

This Week In Gayness: America vs. Fred Phelps

Moran Suggests We Need To Get Rid Of Obama

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Schwarzenegger

The Gays Fought The Law, Too Early to Tell Who Won

World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:02:00 GMT

On Saturday afternoon, naked people took to their bicycles all over the Southern Hemisphere to protest the "indecent exposure" caused by carbon emissions. We're all for this campaign...

Above photos from Newcastle. Top photo from Sao Paulo.

The World Naked Bike Ride 2009 kicked off its first wave of protests in cities like Melbourne, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, and Lima. The Northern Hemisphere events are scheduled for June 13th and already include Krakow, L.A., London, Seattle, Amsterdam, Montreal, New Orleans, and many other major cities.

Perhaps the funniest photo of the day is this one, which doesn't even involve nudity. Check out that sexy pink bike!

Related:

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

National Topless Day Is A Gigantic Success

Nude Beachgoers Run Rampant In The Streets...

St. Louis Nude Bike Protest Points To An Emerging Trend

Wacko Right-Wing Politician Hit With Nude Photo Scandal

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:33:00 GMT

Since our coverage of Brazil's carnival celebrations began on Monday, curious readers have been musing on the lucky bastards who get to paint fake pasties, images of Obama, and "pieces of tape" on the queens of the parade.

Luckily, MSNBC took a break from goofing on Bobby "Hale-Bop Eyes" Jindal to bring us a profile of one of those lucky bastards...

Among the highlights from the extended profile (geez, you would think the reporter actually desired to stick around all those completely naked women getting done up in exotic colors) of Betto Almeida, the most hated man in South America today, are these choice moments:

...he spends hours painting the bodies of gorgeous women — and earning as much as $2,000 a day...
"You wouldn't believe how many applications I get for an assistant," Almeida deadpanned, never taking his eyes from his work as he brushed bright orange paint on the stomach of a model in his glass-enclosed studio under the grandstands at the Sambadrome...
...models who earn about $250 a night to mingle, clad only in paint, with high-rollers in the luxury boxes...

Michele Peres, a 28-year-old model wearing tiny black shorts, snakeskin stilettos and a watch... "...his work draws more attention to me. It is good for him, it is good for me."
Both women said some men — mostly foreigners — get a little frisky in the box seats...
...he dipped his brush into one of a dozen plastic water bottles cut in half to hold his paint, carefully painting jaguar spots on the back of the model's thighs...

"...How could I say no?" he asked, diving into a cheeseburger after finishing up with Peres. "A lot of guys are jealous of my job."

The full story is here.

Related:

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Sports Illustrated Fails At Bikinis, Tries Bodypainting

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

Dani Sperle. Remember the name of that nude Brazilian carnival superstar-- yesterday, we asked you to memorize the words Viviane Castro, but we're unceremoniously brushing her aside-- for Dani just took South America by storm or, rather, by boob...

According to unsubstantied reports from Brazil's front lines, Dani Sperle has just beaten Viviane Castro's 2008 record for the skimpiest carnival costume. If you think we're making this category up, you need to read this:

Brazilian media outlets are very excited about the fact that there is a new record for the smallest article of clothing to be worn in a Carnival parade. Model Dani Sperle showed up at the parade in Rio de Janeiro wearing a headdress, a necklace, boots, armbands ... and a piece of cloth that was 3 centimeters long. For as much coverage as this fact was given, none of the reports specify how she wore this piece of cloth. It broke the record set last year by Viviane Castro at 4 centimeters. Castro was penalized for not meeting minimum standards, though no penalties have been assessed against Sperle yet. [TampaBay.com]

It's in a Florida newspaper, and you know everyone is sane and not full of bullshit in that state. However, we can actually confirm the outfit, based on this unfortunately-censored photo:

Yesterday, one commenter asked where the "strategically-placed tape" was... your answer may appear above, good sir.

And if you're annoyed at the censored photo, here are two NSFW photos of today's record-breaker... put two and two together using your imagination, people...

Related:

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Nude Night Invades Florida

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Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Sloppy Seconds: Nicky Hilton Takes the Law Into Her Own Hands

Emily Farris — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:26:00 GMT

What would Mickey Rourke have said had he won the Oscar? Probably that Marisa Tomei is awesome because "not that many girls can climb the pole, y'know?" [Vulture]

A 30-year-old aspiring male model committed suicide in Brooklyn's Prospect Park last week, after stating his intentions to do so on his Facebook page. [DailyIntel]

Ever wonder why boys (in general) don't like pink and girls (in general) do? If the results of a recent study are to be believed, it's because mens' and womens' brains respond differently to "beautiful" objects. Of course, the study was done with paintings and we're just guessing on the pink thing; we don't think pink is that beautiful, really. [Reuters]

What's in the water in this Brazilian town where 38 pairs of twins were born among about 80 families living in a one-and-a-half-square-mile area? [NYT]

We've always thought of citizen's arrest as this weird thing that people don't actually do. To the best of our knowledge, generally they don't. Unless, of course, they're Nicky Hilton. Surprisingly, we're left with only one question: what the hell was she doing at IHOP at 5 a.m.? [Us]

[Image]

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:18:00 GMT

We spent most of the weekend complaining about how peeved we were to be missing the New Orleans Mardi Gras, mainly venting to people standing next to us at New York's many Mardi Gras parties. It would've helped ease our guilty conscience over not supporting the Katrina-ravaged economy down south if someone had only alerted us to these photos sooner.

Viviane Castro is the Queen of Brazil's Carnival, which rolled through the streets of Rio on Saturday night. She caused mucho controversy last year by taking to the streets in little more than some body paint and a carefully-placed piece of Scotch tape. This year, she could only attempt to one-up herself if she brought politics into it: and she did... with something of an anti-Obama message.

According to some sources, the Queen used her body to cry out about the selling of the Amazon to US companies, who are destroying Brazil's pride and joy. The portrait of Obama on her right leg is to call him out on a perceived complacency or even complicity in the American corporate deals made by Brazil's president, pictured on her left leg.

Here are photos from her controversial 2008 appearance at Carnival:

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What, Exactly, Are They Selling?

Colleen Kane — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Relish, ehhh? So, is this an ad for a brand of organic pepper spray to use when you're being molested by a cop?

Nope, it's an ad for an Italian clothing line. Of course!

They're running on billboards in Rio de Janiero, where the mayor declared them in bad taste, and said he might try to get the billboards taken down in Italy as well.

Related:

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Via OhLaLamag

E! Names Another Obscure Woman as the Hottest in the World

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:35:00 GMT

And, what the hell, you won't have heard of their #2 choice either...

Lingerie model Karolina Kurkova has been voted the world's sexiest woman by E! entertainment television, beating sultry actresses Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson for the honor.
Czech Kurkova, ranked by Forbes magazine as one of the world's highest paid models, was dubbed by E! as "she of the mysterious belly button" due to media speculation about what appears to be an unusually smooth navel.

Of course, if you're a devoted reader of Scanner, you may have actually heard of this woman before. Remember this, from back in June?

Does this woman look "fat" to you? Well, according to one Brazillian newspaper, the #6 highest-paid supermodel in the world isn't ready for the runway, and other outrageous statements for which "WTF?" seems too polite a reply.
According to several sources, none of which named the "local paper" in Brazil that made the alleged comments about Karolina Kurkova during Sao Paolo Fashion Week, the Victoria's Secret hottie, who made $5 million last year, was derided for having
back fat, love handles, and cellulite.

Sympathy vote? Or just a random asshole who thought he'd get himself some free publicity from attacking the (future) hottest woman in the world? Either way, we don't care.

The #2? Leo DiCaprio's old flame Bar Rafaeli:

Super-Thin Supermodel Attacked For Being "Fat?"

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64-Year-Old Woman's Nude Picture Sells For 10,000 Euros

Top 10 Bond Girls Of All-Time

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Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

This Week In Gayness: Fauxmosexuals Ruining It For Everyone Else

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 13:49:00 GMT

There were millions of people at Rio de Janeiro's gay parade this week.

The Pin-Up Girls do burlesque for the LGBT crowd. We just want to know their tour dates and that is all:

[The Girls embrace] all different types of women. Girl on girl action, these girls make a big splash in the LGBT community. In other words, after a performance, there is not a dry seat in the house. [Lez Get Real]

The Connecticut Supreme Court's decision to legalize gay marriage pointed out the absurdity of gay marriage opponents arguing against the institution of marriage:

The majority opinion summarized their argument this way: "[T]hey asserted that the plaintiffs had failed to demonstrate that they have suffered any harm as a result of the statutory bar against same sex marriage because, under the civil union law, gay persons are entitled to all of the rights that married couples enjoy." Logic like this puts gay marriage opponents in the odd position of devaluing the institution of marriage. Marriage, they end up arguing, is nothing so special that it can't be replicated by a parallel institution--in this case, civil unions. Yet the entire point of creating civil unions is to preserve what is allegedly special about the institution of marriage. There is a pretty blatant contradiction here. [The New Republic]

Gawker wants to know if "fauxmosexuals" are ruining it for gay people? We don't have an answer for them, although we were glad to see someone else point out that Katy Perry stole her song from Jill Sobule's "I Kissed A Girl."

It's important to remember that, even after our victories in the courts, the scum are meanwhile redoubling their efforts. According to a variety of sources, "family"/morals groups have claimed victory in their boycott over the supposedly "pro-gay" McDonald's.

Keep up the good fight...

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This Week In Gayness: Gay Leader Assassinated

This Week In Gayness: Discriminated By McDonald's

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Secrets of Synchronized Swimming

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:46:00 GMT

Since we can't get super hot Brazilian synchronized swimmers Bia and Bianca Feres out of our heads--that their photo is on our desktop probably doesn't help--we're going to share this list of secrets of synchronized swimming with you.

It seems synchronized swimming is not as fruity as it looks. Actually it's quite difficult. As you read, keep in mind, Bia and Bianca do all of these things.

Examples include:

Synchronized swimmers can hold their breath underwater for 3 minutes.

They put Jello in their hair: Swimmers buy a package of regular Knox (a.k.a. unflavored Jello), mix it with water and then brush it on their hair before competition...The paste keeps the hair stiff and in place throughout competition. A shower in really hot water is the only way to break loose.

In synchronized swimming the athletes can follow along with the music because of underwater speakers.

These are all very interesting secrets, unfortunately none of them will help us land a synchronized swimmer. We are holding out for that list.

Brazilian Synchronized Swimmers Are No Joke!

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:15:00 GMT

Let us introduce you to Bia and Bianca Feres. They are sisters on the Brazilian Olympic synchronized swimming team. They like tans, bikinis, posing for softcore photo shoots and breaking hearts. Also, they are painfully hot.

Don't believe us? Be prepared to eat your words and and your tears for breakfast.

And now the front

Woman Arrested For Smuggling Cocaine In Inappropriate Place

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

...don't say the backseat of a Volkswagen...

We've all heard that all the US $100 bills in circulation have been tainted by cocaine... but did you know about the cocaine that's tainted by vagina?

According to Guanabee:

Luiza Caetano de Lima, a 29-year-old Brazilian cook, was arrested for carrying 350 grams of cocaine in her vaginal cavity. She was intercepted on a bus on the Paraguayan border. Sadly, this ruined her plan of dropping off the drugs into a garbage can in some border town, where it would later be picked up by someone else. Presumably while wearing gloves?

Honestly, our main issue here is how the hell anyone figured out she had coke in her vagina? Did the cops just get tipped off about her and did a full-on strip search? We would think that staring up a woman's private parts would be the point where customs says, "You know what, how many grams could be up there, this isn't worth humiliating someone for?"

Perhaps the original story, which we can't read, could shed more light. Image via Blogger Digest.

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Ex-Diplomat On Trial For Child Sex: It's Okay To Have Sex With Kids

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Gons G. Nachman, which he swears is his real name, pleaded guilty in Virginia a few months back to possessing child pornography. Now his trial has taken an interesting twist after he made what some people think is an outrageous claim...

[The] ex-diplomat convicted of having sex with teenage girls in the Congo and Brazil and taping the encounters is asking a judge for leniency, claiming that cultural differences in those countries make sex with girls more acceptable.
[H]e had sex with 14- to 17-year-old girls while serving as a consular officer in Brazil and Congo and documenting the encounters in pictures and videos.

Of course, before anyone gets too pissed off, remember that 14**, 15, 16, 17 are all ages of consent in various American states. (Although, it should be pointed out, these laws are mostly designed to protect teenagers who have younger sex partners from prosecution; in other words, in most states, adults over 18 cannot have sex with a person under 18; whereas, for example, a 14 year old guy can have sex with a 17 year old girl in some states and neither one will be charged.)

The trial is postponed while Nachman undergoes a psychiatric evaluation. We doubt a Federal judge is going to go easy on a guy just because "things are different in [his] country." That argument has never worked before, but this is the American justice system we're talking about....

Via News-Observer.

**technically, although in this case it would probably be illegal

Super-Thin Supermodel Attacked For Being "Fat?"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:31:00 GMT

Does this woman look "fat" to you? Well, according to one Brazillian newspaper, the #6 highest-paid supermodel in the world isn't ready for the runway, and other outrageous statements for which "WTF?" seems too polite a reply.

According to several sources, none of which named the "local paper" in Brazil that made the alleged comments about Karolina Kurkova during Sao Paolo Fashion Week, the Victoria's Secret hottie, who made $5 million last year, was derided for having

back fat, love handles, and cellulite.

There are just a few shots of Kurkova's backside from the catwalk during the show in question:

While we see what these idiots are talking about, we still don't get what the hell's wrong with them for acting like she'd offended them in some way. This woman is beautiful. This woman is beautiful no matter what her ass happened to look like one particular afternoon on a runway in Brazil, from one angle, in one stolen moment. And even if it were true that was overweight, fuck them for attacking her for it.

Brazil, we never thought we'd say this, but you suck.

Thankfully, most of the media attacked the paper and praised Kurkova's body of huminatarian/charity work, in addition to her, um, bodywork.

Like most of us, Karolina has occasional weight fluctuations. But unlike most of us, when that happens, a lot of people notice. Looking great for the average person and looking great for a runway model are two vastly different things. There's no question that Kurkova looks amazing in the bikini she wore last week... [The Improper]

The next question is: Will Victoria's Secret agree with their Brazilian fans and dump the dumpy doll? Not a chance! Checkout these photos of her nude and you'll see why. [Post Chronicle]

Via the Improper.

This Week In Gayness: Sex Lives of the Gay and Famous

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:47:00 GMT

An Oregon State Senator doesn't think gays should have workplace protections that keep them from being fired for their sexuality. His advice to the LGBT community?

"My advice to the gay community is SHUT UP, just don’t talk about it." [JustOut]

Damn-- these small town elections are learning way too much from the Democratic Presidential candidates. Even a County Comissioner's race in some unknown Florida town is getting out of hand, as Kevin Becker (D-Gay Man) and Brian Blair (R-Former Professional Wrestler/Hater of Gay Man) are beating each other to bloody pulps.

Konica Minolta is taking away a gay widow's death benefits because of a hidden clause preventing beneficiaries from moving "out of state." [CNN]

Would anyone be offended if we called the Royal Family a dirty bunch of pervs? Too late. Actually, they're innocent this time (and even if they were, a gay "sex act" is not necessarily perverted. Unless it takes place on Anton Scalia's docket.)

This is exactly what we prayed for in last week's post: The Brazilian government believes, as we do, that free speech stops with hate speech. They're going after homophobe bloggers for crimes against humanity. Fuck yeah, baby!

This month's Advocate discusses the potential for a very gay White House under Barack Obama. Four members of Obama's inner circle are out, including Steve Hildebrand, who sends millions of people e-mails every day pretending to be Barack Obama. Meanwhile, Republicans are stepping up in defense of gay marriage, including the surprise champion we now have in Ahnuld. [Edge/SF]

And there's a new book out called "Sex Lives of the Famous Gays." There are famous gays?! Does Us Weekly know about this? [Gay Book Blog]

Previously: While You Were Sleeping: Chelsea Clinton Got Down With The Gays; Which Would You Rather: Rufus Wainwright...

Unless otherwise noted, all news is sourced from topix.net. Photo via Family Pride.

Techtonik Proves Bad Dancing Is Cultural

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 20:13:00 GMT

We recently learned about Techtonik, the Parisian dance craze that looks like ass on toast waving its arms. It seems some people have been knowing about this business for awhile (Thanks, Crans!).

As terrified as we are at the idea of being mobbed beneath the Effiel Tower by a throng of gyrating, mulleted French teenagers, we are even more afraid of the latest Brazilian beach blanket dance craze...

Dança do Quadrado

What a horrible, terrible thing for us to subject you to...sorry about that. But, as Americans, we can't really point fingers seeing as how we're responsible for the popularity of Soulja Boy's "Crank Dat Superman". Please accept our apology, world.

Rumor Mongering (or Simple Math): Is Naomi Campbell's Vagina Infected?

Emily Farris — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:51:00 GMT

As Scanner Bryan told us earlier, PageSix was reporting that Naomi Campbell was hospitalized in Sao Paulo to have a cyst removed. But CNN is reporting that she's "being treated by one of Brazil's top specialists in infectious disease" and... a gynecologist?

Most "diseases" that we know of that warrant a gynecologist aren't necessarily infectious. But what do we know, really? Though we did have a friend who had a very, very smelly vagina infection once (vaginitis). But an infection isn't really a disease. Maybe she has some crazy Brazilian strain of yeast infection and they're just being extra cautious? Or maybe PageSix was right and it's a long-gone cyst. Whatever is wrong with Naomi's vajayjay, doctors are keeping quiet. But we wish Naomi and her vagina the best and hope they're back to work very soon.

[CNN: Model Naomi Campbell hospitalized]

[Image via]