Male Australian Writer Believes Most Women Are Socially Inept, Crass, Not Bangable

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:59:00 GMT

We love how this male writer cites a female Emily Post wannabe in ripping up Australia's women, presumably after having been dumped by a wild party girl like the ones he attacks so ruthlessly.

Then again, we don't disagree with a few of his points about the "fairer sex."

If the evidence screened on a recent popular reality television show [don't say The Hills - Ed.] is to be believed then certain young, modern, Australian women are not only completely lacking in good manners but they are also foul-mouthed, loud and uncultured.

All of that is true of all English-speaking people in this day and age, the men included.

it's interesting to look at just how far the modern woman – regardless of age, race, status or income – has sunk in her attempt to "live in a man's world."

This all kinds of awful-- perhaps one of our readers can take this line to task, especially that last snarky remark... we don't have the patience.

Many Australian women are now socially inept, particularly when it comes to manners – from the businesswoman who orders the hotel concierge to get them a cab "quick smart" to the moody shop assistant who rolls her eyes when asked for help and then turns to the next assistant and announces that she cannot wait to knock off.

What about the businessman who orders up a hooker from Craig's List and then complains to her madame that she makes him wear a condom? What about the dudes who feel no qualms about hitting on a woman sitting at the bar when her boyfriend goes to the bathroom? What about the moody male video store clerk who rolls his eyes when you ask what came out this week? What if-- well, you get the point.

Then comes a line (the first one here) that we agree with 100%:

A Brisbane businessman recently revealed that, when he opened a door for two professional women exiting an office, he received no acknowledgement only to have a glass door slammed in his face after following them out. Many men are now becoming reluctant to open doors for women because they merely get "huffed" at and pushed aside.

Women almost never-- I should do a social experiment, but I would guess it's one out of ten, tops-- thank us or even acknowledge us holding the door for them. And we don't mean we stop for more than two seconds to hold the door-- it's not like we're standing there expectantly. We just know that they're a few steps back and will have to deal with the door swinging back in their faces if we don't stop to hold it. We do the same thing for anyone, regardless of gender or any other quality of the person(s) behind us. But men always mutter a casual but polite thank you-- I'm guessing at least eight or nine out of every ten.

Not cool, ladies. And another thing:

Women in the 40 to 60-year-old age bracket regard footpaths, aisles and malls as theirs alone. Put two or three of these women together and everyone must make way for them. In their world nothing comes between them and their conversation, certainly not manners or respect.

We disagree with this statement, if only because our experience is with strollers in Brooklyn and the side-by-side lineup of those monsters, each of which is wider than a motorcycle with a sidecar. Author Ian Wallace would likely agree if he lived in New York. Meanwhile, he cites June-Dally Watkins, the Emily Post type we cited, as saying good manners is an important character trait for all women. We say it's important in everyone.

Read his full story here.

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Way to F Up the Swingers Party, Dude

Colleen Kane — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 18:37:00 GMT

A tourist caused a mini riot at an "anything goes" adult sex party at an Australian nudist colony.

So how does one cause such outrage, if anything goes at this party...?

By refusing to get naked.

The monthly sex party was promoted to boost weak tourism to a resort that was once named the country's top group-sex hotspot for naked swingers.

Four naked women, uncomfortable with the way he was "eyeing them off," confronted the clothed man and demanded he drop trou, said the manager, Tony Fox.

"He then threatened to bash me, there was some argy-bargy and I ordered him off the premises and police were called."

Argy-bargy. Best new phrase of the day.

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Man Catches His Meat in a Meat Grinder

Colleen Kane — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:19:00 GMT

A 23-year-old Australian man injured his penis in a meat grinder.

Now, the obvious question here would be, "Why was his penis in a meat grinder?" But that answer was not provided in the news item, and there probably isn't a satisfying answer to that question anyway.

That's all the Brisbane Times reported about this accident, other than the following disturbing detail (NSF Lunch-eating).

"Paramedics who treated the man at the scene were able to stem the bleeding."

Of course there must have been blood when a living body part met a meat grinder, but now we've pictured the scene with the paramedics and the blood everywhere and oh, vomit.

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