The Rise and Fall of Lindsay Lohan

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

We try not to dwell on the weight fluctuations of celebrities, since our greatest collective fear on this blog is-- shot in the dark-- that someone will point out our own problems with bacon cheeseburgers and failed diet plans.

But when the entire internet is worried that Lindsay Lohan is starving herself to death, we really have no choice but to investigate. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend all our waking hours on this or stare too hard at the evidence... it's pretty clear from this topless shoot Lohan did recently for Hedi Slimane that there's at least one thing wrong with her...

Drumroll, rimshot... she has fake boobs.

For years, scientists and other observers (i.e. mean bloggers) have commented that Lindsay's bust enhanced at precisely the time she transitioned to "adult" roles. (Unfortunately, not that kind of "adult" role.) No one could say definitively... until now, at least, according to those same mean bloggers. They're playing the "told you so" song and pointing out that the new ultra-skinny Lindsay should have sagging breasts, what with all the weight loss.

In other words, if we were going to title this article more inappropriately, it would be headlined: "The Rise and Rise of Lindsay Lohan's Boobs."

Here's what they're referring to-- the only two boob pictures from the shoot:

What do you think? Does this prove, disprove, or have no bearing on the theories? Also, um, should we give her one of our bacon cheeseburgers or something? Disturbing stuff...

Via Hedi Slimane's website.

Related:

Today in the Apocalypse: Barbie Got Even Skinnier

Sloppy Seconds: Why Sam Won't Leave Lindsay

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Today in Disorders We'll Never Suffer From: Orthorexia

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 12:58:00 GMT

There were times in our youth when we wished we could be anorexic or bullimic (stupid, we know, but if you were ever a chubby, insecure teenage girl you, too, may have wished these disorders upon yourself) but we always ended up reaching for the Cool Ranch Doritos. In recent years, eating disorder specialists have termed a new disorder that we're a little less guilty about wishing we had: orthorexia, an unhealthy fixation with healthy eating.

While we certainly try to eat healthy most of the time, it's really only so we feel like we're balancing out our two-hamburger-a-week minimum, so this is yet another disorder we're in no danger of developing. But the chubby, insecure teenager inside of us still almost wishes we could have orthorexia—luckily, the adult whose social life revolves around food does not.

Like anorexia, it often involves severe weight loss, but so-called orthorexics are obsessed with food quality, rather than quantity, and strive for personal purity in their eating habits rather than for a thin physique.

The word orthorexia was coined in 1997 by Colorado alternative medicine specialist Steven Bratman. Implicit in the description are traits that resemble obsessive-compulsive disorder, since sufferers devote excessive attention to their own strict rules and often spend hours each day worrying about tomorrow's meals. Such a person may find himself socially isolated because he doesn't indulge in everyday dishes. "If your focus on healthy eating is interfering with your happiness and social life," says Bratman, "you might have a problem."

What's the disorder called when your happiness is dependent on your hamburger intake?

[Psychology Today: Orthorexia: Too Healthy?]