Found on the Road: Four-Flavored Condom?

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:28:00 GMT

I've been pretty much living in Planes, Trains and Automobiles for the past 36 or so hours. After waiting eleven hours in an airport yesterday, I rode a Greyhound for four hours to quite possibly also spend today in another airport. Anyway, one great thing about a bus ride? Truck stops! I love shopping at truck stops. And yesterday, while squatting over a disgusting toilet, I looked up to find the condom machine. Four flavored condoms for 75-cents? What a deal! I knew it was finally time to pop my condom-machine cherry. Unfortunately, it turns out it wasn't such a good deal after all.

Either it is one four-flavored condom (WTF?) or, more likely, it is one of four flavors. Will it be banana? Chocolate? Strawberry? Or mint (marijuana??)?

Only you can tell. FInish this sentence:

If I had a ____-flavored condom I'd ______________________ Fox News.

and send it to scanner@nerve.com. The best answer will be posted here and the winner will receive this mystery condom via the USPS. The Springfield, MO airport may not have fresh coffee or hot food but it has to have a post office. Right?

More goodies from my travels coming next week.

(For the very interested among you, I'm Tiwttering my misadventures. The less sleep I get—I'm working on four hours in three days—the better my Twats, it seems.)

Related:

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Trojan Girls Try To Get Republicans To Wear, Learn Uses Of Condoms

Condoms: Saving Lives 18,500 at a Time

Schoolgirl's Double Life as High-Payin' Ho Betrayed By Bag of Condoms

Get Your Ashley Alexandra Dupre Drink On

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:26:00 GMT

As Eliot Spitzer's career has gone to shit, another person's is about to take off, and no, we're not talking about Spitzer's replacement, new New York Governor David Paterson. Like everyone else in the world, including us, Georgi Vodka wants to capitalize on the myth, the woman, the legend that is Ashley Alexandra Dupre. We want her to write a book and Georgi wants put a blown-up shot of her ass on the back of every bus in New York City.

Martin Silver, chief executive of Star Industries — owners of the U.S. rights to the brand, said he is in talks to pay Dupre more than $100,000 to be this year's Georgi "butt girl," the annual pinup the brand places on city buses and taxicabs.

"The girl's butt we have on there now is pretty good, but if you can get (Dupre) to do it, and to make some personal appearances, it's like Paris Hilton or something," Silver told AdAge.com. "We are trying to work out a contract."

Additionally, they want to name the vodka "No. 9" —which, in case you live in a cave, was the code name the FBI used for Spitzer while they investigated the prostitution ring.

MNBC's idea for a new cocktail?

"The Spitzer Screwdriver: "No. 9" vodka and orange juice with a shot of schadenfreude. On the rocks ... just like his marriage."

They beat us to the punch line...

[MSNBC: From governor's paramour to vodka's 'butt girl]