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PapSmeared: Brooke Hogan, Another Year ______

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:43:00 GMT

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Ace of Cakes' LOST Cake

Emily Farris — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:25:00 GMT

To celebrate (what we assume is the taping of) LOST's 100th episode, the folks at ABC brought in the pros from Ace of Cakes to make the sweet cake pictured above. But perhaps more exciting are the Dharma beer cupcakes, "chugged" by Sawyer. Well, that and the obligatory Juliette's-boobs-next-to-the-cake shot.

Is it just us or does she look really good dirty?

Related:

Crush of the Week: The Newest Couple on "Lost" (With Bonus Boob Talk)

LOST Producers Throw Us a Bone, Disney Takes it Away

**Food We'd Like to F*ck: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Topped Cupcakes**

**Today in Food We'd Like to F*ck: The Hamburger Fatty Melt**

Amy Winehouse: A F*cking Disastah

Emily Farris — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:54:00 GMT

We all know that Amy Winehouse is a walking train wreck (perhaps walking on scabby toothpicks), but her latest stunt takes the cake... or whatever it was she happened to eat before returning the gowns she borrowed from a UK department store.

Winehouse has been slapped with a $50,000 bill after borrowing silk and satin gowns from Harvey Nichols... and returning them covered in vomit. And green mold.

We're sure stars have thrown up on borrowed gowns before, but they probably had the wherewithal to get them dry cleaned. Amy, on the other hand, just threw a vomit covered dress in with the rest and sent them back.

[Mirror: Amy Winehouse hit with huge bill after vomiting on designer clothes]

Related:

Spoon Or Spork: Amy Winehouse

The Amy Winehouse Condition

Amy Winehouse Gets Naked. For a Good Cause. For Real.

Scanner Peer Mentoring Program: Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse Doesn't Have Anything to Prove to Anyone

The Amy Winehouse Comeback Begins...

Sloppy Seconds: Impeachments Imminent

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:29:00 GMT

56 government employees in Miami-Dade County were arrested for their alleged links to an Oxy-Contin ring.

We keep waiting for an explanation for this few-days-old story, but since none has been forthcoming: A man was arrested for exposing himself to his neighbors. When police came in through his front door, they found him committing some sort of sexual act "with a claw hammer, plastic bag and motor oil." What?

Gawker revisited some classic (and far from classic) Playgirl covers.

Know anyone with a birthday tonight? Get them the Horse's Ass cake, just because you're such good friends.

One of the Dixie Chicks got divorced.

A teen conspired with a buddy to, we're assuming, assassinate George W. Bush at Camp David. He even had the motorcade route copied down. It's a miracle ~~we don't have a "President Cheney"~~ he didn't get to execute his nefarious plan.

In other Bush news, the House seems closer than ever to actually considering impeaching Bush. Which means nothing will happen, of course.

In other impeachment news, the President of Pakistan is much closer to being ousted: the country's ruling coalition agreed to begin removal proceedings against him.

And Condi Rice is apparently ignoring her daily memos from the RNC: she said the country would do fine against terrorisms even with an Obama presidency.

Let Them Eat Cake

Emily Farris — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:38:00 GMT

Let's face it, we all know that unless you're Martha Stewart's niece, your gay best friend will probably have a better wedding cake than you.

This is especially true for us, considering we're not sure if we'll ever get married, but we imagine that if/when we do, we'll probably keep things pretty simple.

But bakers better start to get their shit together — and by "shit" we very lovingly mean same sex couple figurines — lest they want a young opportunist to sweep in and take over the gay wedding cake business, especially in places like California.

Of course, if we were to marry a woman, we'd probably skip the roses and figurines and go for something a little more like this:

But for now, our 12-year-old girl fantasy remains. We'll marry a big, burly man outdoors in a super casual wedding with a super simple, all-white cake or we'll go over the top with an Ace of Cakes style get-up.

Our parents' wedding cake got lost in a snow storm so the first image we have of our parents' life together is our mother violently stabbing her Entenmann's cake. That's about how the rest of it went, so forgive us if we're a little too concerned with cake.

What was your wedding cake like? Or what is your dream cake?

[Via Serious Eats]

[Image via sundogg's flickr, Cake and Art]

Quote of the Day: "I molded my ass."

Emily Farris — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 17:43:00 GMT

"I molded my ass, so I could call it 'chocolate starfish.' It was white chocolate, and I put a dark chocolate little thing right in the middle."

Who said it?

That's what Girls Next Door star Kendra Wilkinson gave her boyfriend Hugh Hefner for his 82nd birthday.

What else did he get?

Pam Anderson jumping naked out of a giant birthday cake, that's what.

[Us: Girls Next Door React to Pam Anderson Giving Hef B-Day Cake Naked]

[Image]

2 Girls, 1 Cup Birthday Cake (That's Totally Chocolate Mousse)

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 14:32:00 GMT

In the cup. Chocolate mousse in the cup. You know, that one cup over the picture of two girls.

And we're just hoping there was at least some re-enactment at this party. While we were a little saddened to learn the cake was for a boy (it would have been so much cooler if it had been for a girl), we are glad to know the people at the bakery were made fully aware of what they were creating:

"so we told the cake place i usually use to make one (www.cakeandart.com), thinking they wouldn't know what it was. turned out one of the dudes there did and had to show the video to everyone at the bakery."

The video inspired the bakers to make a chocolate cake with a "nutty" peanut butter center. Yum.

[Flickr]

Related:

"2 Girls, 1 Cup" Term Paper Gets an F

"Two Girls, One Cup" Auteur Identified -- Just In Time For Oscar Season!!!

"Two Girls, One Cup," The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Hey Ladies, Have a Salad (or Cake) with a Side of Cunnilingus Today

Emily Farris — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:01:00 GMT

One month ago today, on Steak And Blow Job Day—the day on which women were to shower their men with both red meat and head—to even the playing field, we declared today, April 14, Salad and Cunnilingus Day. Some of you thought it was unfair, considering Steak And Blow Job Day was originally created to give the men a break after Valentine's Day. To that we say "phooey." In part because we kind-of hate Valentine's Day and in part because who said February 14 was all about men doing things for women? Either way, as much as we love salad—and steak!—some clever ladies were already a step or two ahead of us.

Today is officially (if having an eponymous website makes something official) Cake and Cunnilingus Day.

Why? Well, as some enterprising men have declared March 14 to be "Steak and Blowjob Day", we women thought we'd get in on the act as well, a month later.
Cake and Cunnilingus Day is about celebrating female pleasure. It's about putting our orgasms on the agenda and demanding pleasure equality! It's about lying back and gorging on chocolate mud cake while our lover sticks his eager tongue into our pussy!
Valentine's Day is for lovers, no matter what their gender. It's about emotion, about committment [sic], about relationships.
Cake and Cunnilingus Day is a little more carnally obsessed. Forget the roses! This day puts the focus on women, their sexuality... and their tastebuds!
Of course, it doesn't have to be all about cake. If you're so inclined you're welcome to celebrate Muffins and Muff Diving Day. Or Pudding and Pussy Licking Day. Or even Candy and Clit Licking Day. The important thing is that our coochies get the oral treatment they deserve!

We'll take steak and cunnilingus, followed by some cake, thank you very much.

[Cake and Cunnilingus Day]

[Previously: Have a steak and blow job today. No, really. We insist.]

[Image via]

Katamari Cake Makes Us Indescribably Happy, But We Will Still Blog About It

Bryan Christian — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:00:00 GMT

All right, kids: sometimes we have to write about something entirely sexless. Now is one of those times. Behold the Katamari Damacy birthday cake! Oh, we're positively giddy with videogame nerdness right now!

Lucky Flickr user michiyoemi received this amazing Katamari cake as a surprise from her friend. Her friend is no doubt the greatest friend ever made ever. No offense to any of my friends, I love you all to death, but you guys never made me any kind of cake!

Seriously!

Oh, and for those of you who've been too busy fucking in cars to ever play Katamari Damacy or We Love Katamari, here's the description from the Katamari Wikipedia page:

The game's plot concerns a diminutive prince on a mission to rebuild the stars, constellations and Moon, which his father, the King of All Cosmos, has accidentally destroyed. This is achieved by rolling a magical, highly adhesive ball called a katamari around various locations, collecting increasingly larger objects, ranging from thumbtacks to schoolchildren to mountains, until the ball has grown large enough to become a star...

... which would explain the big pink ball all covered with sweet treats up there. We think the King of All Cosmos would say something like "From what I can see, that is really very fine cakemaking!" Or something equally weird sounding.

OK, thanks for that moment of indulgence. We swear, we'll try and get something up about sexy vikings or whatever just as soon as we can.

Let Us Eat Cake, Jonathan Lethem

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:03:00 GMT

For whatever reason, today, Grub Street shares Brooklyn author Jonathan Lethem's food diary. He likes yogurt, cereal and po-boys. We also happen to know he likes Bar Tabac in Boerum Hill. All of this reminds us that he still owes us a piece of chocolate cake.

[Grub Street: Jonathan Lethem Fuels His Writing With ‘White Trash’ Sandwiches]