Scanner : camera phones

Sloppy Seconds: Lindsay Lohan's Car Crash

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 22:01:00 GMT

An Italian doctor performing brain surgery suffered a heart attack during the operation, but completed it anyway at the risk of his own life.

Amy Poehler's new show is in trouble already.

If the police can't stop a woman's stalker from harassing her on and off for a year-and-a-half, isn't she allowed to take the law into her own hands? Isn't it self-defense?

Lindsay Lohan was involved in her third car accident in as many weeks. Then she goes and says she never "drinks, do[es] drugs, or lie[s.]" We believe that, yep.

It was inevitable: Nevada plans to tax prostitution at $5 a pop.

Robin Williams is in Ohio, recovering from heart surgery.

Sometimes sex tapes are helpful: a guy recorded a prositute giving him a blow job, then used the video as evidence when the hooker and her boyfriend robbed him.

Turns out, those weren't nude photos of Australian right-wing kook Pauline Hanson after all. Oh well, whatever helped her lose the election is fine with us.

Wacko Right-Wing Politician Hit With Nude Photo Scandal

World Naked Bike Ride Takes Over the Southern Hemisphere

PETA Has Really Gone and Done it Now

Harry Potter, Most Kids Today: Unabashed Pre-verts*

Colleen Kane — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:46:00 GMT

In the wake of news that barely legal Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame is ready to drop knicker on film, and that teens in Washington state are flashing for the camera, comes more news along those same pert, dewey, and youthful lines.

Emma's colleague Daniel Radcliffe played Harry Potter and then did the play Equus where he famously appears nude on stage. He recently mentioned that a friend asked him if he was worried about getting an erection on stage. Au contraire.

"I said, 'No, that would be great! Rather the opposite takes place actually." China Daily further reported that Daniel would prefer the audience to see his "manhood in all its glory."

In further nudes, it has come to the attention of the entire media today thanks to a poll and numerous news stories that most of the nation's high-schoolers are a writhing, teeming mass of naked youthful abandon, and it's all being documented and passed around via pix messages sure to come back and haunt them later in life. See a rundown of the stats and stories here.

* Not a typo: a "prevert" is someone who is preverted.

Related:

No, These Are The Real Daniel Radcliffe Nude Photos

Harry Potter A Failure With Real Girls As Well

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Who Knew North Dakota Had Such A Great Bar Scene?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:48:00 GMT

Hankinson, North Dakota is an up-and-coming town of 1,058 people, with not much going on these days except the North Dakota Horseshoe Tournament, taking place while the rest of the world will be climbing up lampposts in D.C. to see an inauguration.

But now this budding tourist hamlet is getting some unwanted publicity of the kind that actually inspires horndogs and other vacationers to hop the next plane to... wait, where the hell are the airports in North Dakota anyway?

The Boston Herald this morning picked up a story out of Hankinson that makes their bar scene sound worthy of the hardest-drinking Americans: The Spare Time bar is being shut down for a week after it was revealed a couple had sex in the middle of it for thirty minutes the other night. The 21-year-old "performers" were charged with misdemeanors, identified by the police thanks to the fact that dozens of people took pictures and video with their cell phones and then, get this, sent them to the City Council for amusement. Whoops-- the City Council turns out to not have a sense of humor.

On Wednesday night, Roger Boutain, who owns Spare Time, went before the Council with 100 supporters behind him (all of whom, one assumes, were at the bar that night and heartily approved) and begged to be allowed to remain open. Luckily, Hankinson only closed The Spare Time for a week...

"We went from being an up and growing community to Hankinson, the place where they had sex in the bar," Mayor Joe O’Meara said. "It didn’t shed a good light on our community. I’m hoping now, we can just put this past us."

By the way, the airport you want to fly into is Hector International, in Fargo.

Image via the Sun-UK.

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Ad Agency Sex Scandal Claims One Victim: The Cameraman

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:55:00 GMT

A screenshot from the already-infamous camera phone sex tape of a guy's co-workers getting it on, with the annoying Gawker addition of a turkey to cover the "naughty bits."

If you haven't seen it yet, you haven't been missing anything (the time you spent glancing at the above photo is more than enough)... although the story has gotten a lot more interesting in light of what happened to the guy who filmed some of sexcapades and spread the clip around via e-mail.

First off, he was fired. Secondly, he gave an interview to vent about his punishment, which was not equal to that of the participants, both of whom were cheating on their partners and got to keep their jobs.

In an interview with Asylum, the anonymous cinematographer had this to say about the incident:

It was one Friday afternoon and I received a call from a co-worker that he had found, or stumbled upon, two people making love in a cubicle. I didn't believe him, but I just ran up to meet him anyway to see what it was and sure enough, there were two people doing it. I know their names but I don't know them personally. It was around 5:10 in the afternoon -- not very late at all. It's an ad agency, so there are people there around the clock. The creatives don't leave until around 7 or 8.
I showed a couple of officemates on my phone and everyone was shocked and awed. I downloaded it to my computer and sent it on to two other co-workers and that was all the digital distribution I did and it just went viral from there.
They [the sex fiends] still work there. I think it's wrong. I don't see why I should get canned and not the ones who were doing the deed. But my plan is just to keep on trucking and find another job. My true goal is to join an agency as an art director.

Read the rest of the interview at Asylum.

Germany's Richest Woman Blackmailed With Own Sex Tape

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20-Year-Old Teacher Strips For Her Students... On Video

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:10:00 GMT

A teacher in western Hungary may actually get to keep her job, even after she performed a raunchy striptease during a game of (for God's sake!) Truth or Dare, which she engaged in with her 15-year-old students.

Better yet, she gets to keep her job even though video of the strip show ended up on YouTube...

The unnamed teacher, who is identified in news reports only as hailing from Germany, was supervising a school party when a student dared her to take off her clothes... Elizabeth Berkley-style...

Here's the full video. Bonus: they must have planned this thing far enough in advance-- somebody had Joe Cocker's cover of Randy Newman's "You Can Leave Your Hat On" cued up on the CD player when she started out...

She must have this school over a barrel (what, is she the only German-speaking German teacher in Hungary or something?), for the principal refused to dismiss her:

“I was forced to give the German teacher a warning, but I will not dismiss her because she is a valuable teacher for our institution,” said Sandor Rozman.
He said the teacher had shown no more flesh “than you would see on a beach."

We've never wished to return to high school, but if this woman's contract is renewed, we may just re-enroll...

Via News.com.au.

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While You Were Sleeping: Posing Nude For Fun Or Charity

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:09:00 GMT

Jude Law's new girlfriend is posing nude for the upcoming edition of Playboy in France.

If this guy keeps winning elections, maybe there isn't any reason to vote.

A conservative Canadian mayor is finding out that just because those nude photos of her made headlines over five years ago, people are still going to bring them up when she runs for higher office. Uncensored photo below:

A man in Monticello, New York is in jail after asking a random thirteen-year-old girl if she would mind posing nude for his camera phone. The reason we're pointing this story out is this: he was apprehended after a bunch of passerby, who heard him propose the same setup to a (legal) woman, became an angry mob and chased him into someone's house.

Perhaps you've heard of them, but we haven't: several English celebrities are posing nude for charity.

Hear about that attorney who had his client pay off part of her debt by doing stripteases? Surprise-- he was a cheapskate.

Speaking of quid pro quo arrangements: a staff member of a Utah high school plead to a reduced charge in his beer-for-nude-photos-of-the-boys-who-wanted-beer scandal.

Detroit's City Council President is now the city's new Mayor, following his predecessor's sex scandal, jail sentence, and eventual resignation.

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Woman Busted For Videotaping Her Underage Sex Crime

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Hey, just because R. Kelly was acquitted doesn't mean we should all run out and find jailbait to have sex with. More importantly, if we're dumb enough to do all that, we should probably not film the sex with our cellphone cameras.

Well, that's just what one 31-year-old Florida woman did... and was caught because she all but asked to be...

The Orlando Sun Sentinel, which is always fun of delicious insanity (that's probably where we got the story about the guy who robbed his next door neighbor's house and then decided to have a yard sale with all the stolen goods), reports on this dimwit:

Stacey Sheldon of Apopka was arrested Tuesday on charges of sexual activity and use of a child in a sexual performance. She told investigators that it was her idea to video tape their encounter with her phone, according to the arrest report.

Authorities were alerted after Sheldon had accidentally left her cell phone at another teenager's house. The 16-year-old victim told detectives that he met Sheldon in July. They had sex four or five times in various places, including his house and her home.

Let's just go over that again, shall we: you had sex with a 16-year-old boy. You decide, this would be something to videotape, let's film this sumbitchin' good time. Then, somewhere along the line, you decide it's not a big deal to just leave the evidence around for anyone to find.

Bye bye, Sheldon... see you in 40 years...

Via the Orlando Sun Sentinel.

Sloppy Seconds: Are Lindsay and Sam Finally, Really Engaged?

Boy Catches Teacher Jerking Off... On The Teacher's Porch

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West's Arrest

"Do That Little Cheerleader Move," NY State Assemblyman Tells Intern

You Know Your Wedding Was A Blast When You Were Both Tasered... Twice

Blake Fielder-Civil Sends Amy Winehouse A Pic Of His Dick

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 14:02:00 GMT

What do you do if your husband sends you a picture of his dick from prison? If you're Amy Winehouse, you immediately post it to your Facebook profile...

If anyone has the uncensored version (how is it that only one person saw it and has neglected to offer us a NSFW version?), please send it to us...

It seems that Blake Fielder-Civil was either:

a) offered early release if he would move in with his mother and accept a 7pm curfew, but declined because he'd rather be in jail than be restricted and unable to live with his wife

b) offered early release if he would move in with his mother and accept a 7pm curfew, but declined because... well, he failed two drug tests and early release was denied.

Either way, in the meantime, he's content with sending camera phone perv shots to his beloved, who apparently is very proud of her man's penis. Other bloggers have claimed the penis is rather large, but without photo evidence other than the sadly censored version (see above), we'll reserve comment for now...

Via The Sun.

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Amy Winehouse Loves Blake Fielder-Civil, Wants Everyone to Know

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While You Were Sleeping: The Pregnant Prostitute Raid

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New Miley Cyrus Photo Scandal Already Exaggerated Beyond Belief

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:35:00 GMT

Oh my God! A fifteen-year-old girl posed for private pictures of herself wearing clothing! Call in the Catholic League! Have her parents executed in a public square by a man in a black hood!

Jesus, save us! One of these pictures features Miley Cyrus, who is a role model to seven-year-old girls in every rich white town in Connecticut and in select other regions, was found to have been acting like a fifteen-year-old girl in the presence of her own personal cellphone camera. Miley Cyrus, who has an obligation under the law to go to church seven days a week, keep her head bowed at a 45-degree angle while in public, and marry the first man who kisses her on the mouth, scandalized the nation with these two shameful, shameful photos.

Miley Cyrus has been caught up in yet another photo scandal after an internet hacker accessed her phone's memory and found a series of saucy snaps.
The new pictures allegedly show the singer posing seductively in the shower with only a wet t-shirt covering her modesty, as well as a photo of her showing off her stomach in a skimpy top.
The snaps were reportedly downloaded from the star's personal picture phone memory by a hacker calling himself the Digital Gangster.
According to celebrity [asshole] Perez Hilton, who has the controversial new photographs on his website [complete with moronic, tasteless, offensive, inappropriate, uncalled-for, and cruel "graffiti" on each snap], the hacker is shopping the snaps around to several publications

The second, more "offensive" pic:

Via WENN/IMDB.

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Sloppy Seconds: Penis Photos, Delta Burke, Sadness After Sex and Burlesque

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:03:00 GMT

A man in Berlin is in trouble for sending photos of his penis to random women via his camera phone. But apparently he's not in too much trouble. The judge's take: "We all had a bit of a laugh when we saw the thing."

Our favorite Designing Woman Delta Burke is in a psychiatric hospital. (You think we're joking about her being our favorite, but one year we dressed up as Delta Burke for Halloween.)

Sadness after sex is so.... sad. You're supposed to be all sweaty, and sleepy and satiated.

Scanner Emily is taking a burlesque class tonight. Or maybe she's just visiting Delta Burke in the looney bin and doesn't want to tell you. Or maybe her burlesque character is Delta Perk. Either way, full report tomorrow.

Today in Pointed Leads: Spiteful Men and their Camera Phones

Emily Farris — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:09:00 GMT

From the Courier Mail: "A SPITEFUL man used a mobile phone to film himself having sex with his girlfriend before emailing the images to acquaintances after an acrimonious break-up."

He probably wasn't spiteful while he was taking the video. He was probably saving it for masturbation material. Then he and his girlfriend broke up and he sent the video to some friends. Now he's on probation.

[Courier Mail: Phone 'porno' nets probation]

[Image of Sony Ericsson camera phone on a tripod via ministryoftech.com]