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Josh Hartnett Sex Tape Results Are In

Colleen Kane — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:25:00 GMT

Hey, remember the scandal last fall alleging that Josh Hartnett was up to some "steamy shenanigans" in a public area of London's Soho hotel, and it was all caught on tape by a security camera? This news may for some (ahem) have been followed by days or weeks of jubilation and anticipation.

Well, sadly, just because you want something to be true, doesn't mean it is. London's High Court ruled today that the allegations were false, and awarded him $30,000 in libel damages to be paid by the Daily Mirror, which Josh plans to donate to charity.

Rats.

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Image: handson.provacateuse.com

Caught on Tape: Seal Molesting a Penguin

Emily Farris — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:42:00 GMT

We should probably first make it clear that we're talking about a seal, not Seal the singer.

A young male Antarctic fur seal was caught on tape trying unsuccessfully to have sex with a king penguin for at least 45 minutes. While it may not seem so strange at first, it is considering that as far as scientists are aware, this is the first known example of a sexual escapade between a mammal and another kind of vertebrate, like a bird.

"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," [researcher Nico de Bruyn, a mammal ecologist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa] recalled today via email.

The roughly 240-pound seal subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it. The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes. Natural, unsuccessful sexual escapades by this variety of seal with members of its own species may last as long as this penguin assault did, "but yes, it is quite a long time and thus unusual," de Bruyn told LiveScience.

The seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury.

We're glad the little guy was okay and we hope he has a good support system to help him deal with this traumatic experience. If anyone has seen the seal, who is 240 pounds with brown fur and long whiskers, please report him to your local precinct. Do not attempt to restrain him yourself; he is very dangerous.

[MSNBC: Seal caught on tape molesting a penguin]

[Image, Image]

Caught on Tape: Cats Masturbating

Emily Farris — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:58:00 GMT

via videosift.com