Scanner : christina aguilera

Caption This: Christina Aguilera Would Like Some A-Rod, Too

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:35:00 GMT

Caption This: Christina Aguilera Belts it Out

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:50:00 GMT

Sloppy Seconds: Levi Johnston's New Tattoo

Emily Farris — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:03:00 GMT

Shocking, shocking news out of Johns Hopkins University: women who binge drink are more likely to engage in unsafe sex. Shocking! Just shocking! [CBC]

Liv Tyler is just like us. Or just like Scanner Emily at summer camp, minus the cold sores and extra 13 pounds. [Daily Intel]

Kelly Ripa would like you to think about her breasts. And her ovaries. Actually, she—and us—would like you to think of your own, and make sure there are no woman-eating cells in there. [People]

Remember when Christina Aguilera said she'd keep nursing so she could keep her ginormous breasts? Yep, it seems to be working for her. [FameCrawler]

Levi Johnston debuted his "Bristol" ring-finger tattoo at the RNC, while Bristol herself debuted something else. Hello, ladies! [Us]

Christina Aguilera Gets Naked for David LaChappelle

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:09:00 GMT

Peep Xtina on the left on that barrel. It was bound to happen. What? You think just because she has a baby and a (relatively) new squeaky clean image David LaChappelle couldn't get Christina Aguilera to take her drawers off? Dude is better than Spencer Tunick at getting ladies to drop trow.

Nipplier close up after the jump.

[via Lossip]

Top 10 Celebrity Moms Who Could Be Hookers

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:24:00 GMT

Not to insult Moms (or even celebrities), but TMZ has a list today that we must improve upon...

Most of these Celebrity Moms are actually pretty cool (well, except for Britney, of course), but sometimes with all their plastic surgery, fake boobs, and reality TV antics, they make fools of themselves. Today, we run down those who have slipped up and caused the biggest fashion faux pas of late...

10. Janice Dickinson (see above.) The world's first supermodel or Scary Aunt Spice?

9. Katie Holmes. Not because she ever dresses like a prostitute, rather her inclusion here is thanks to those "rumors" that she took $3 million from the Church of Scientology to be Tom's wife.

8. Judy Landers

7. Christina Aguilera, who normally looks much classier these days, was caught in Spitzer's-second-hooker mode by the pap's:

6. Linda Hogan

5. Lisa Gastineau

4. Tori Spelling

3. Britney Spears

2. Elizabeth Hurley. Among the classiest women in the world most of the time and arguably Britain's sexiest MILF, Hurley does, from time to time, unfortunately get mistaken for a hooker Hugh Grant might've picked up:

Photo via Babble

1. Denise Richards. This photo really says it all. Why did Charlie Sheen need to hire out again? (Seriously, who needs hookers when you have the star of "Wild Things," who happens to dress way better than this most of the time? Even a jackass like Sheen shouldn't need to outsource...)

Via TMZ.

Sloppy Seconds: How Christina Will Maintain Her Ginormous Breasts

Emily Farris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:12:00 GMT

We enjoyed Courtney Cox's show Dirt, the few times we saw it. Too bad, though, it's been canceled. [Fox News]

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan are doing just fine, thank you very much. [Us]

Yes, showing your dick in the "Sex and the City" movie sure will open a lot of doors — in your career, of course.. [Yahoo!]

Raising a baby chimp might actually be a good way to figure out if you really want kids. [Telegraph]

Diddy—who might like to be referred to as Puff Daddy, again and would also like to be the Black Bruce Willis — really wants to meet the Queen of England. [People]

Is that really R. Kelly in the infamous R. Kelly sex tape? (By the way, has anyone actually seen it?) [MTV]

The View might be our favorite show we never watch. The internet clips will do, including this one of Regis Philbin's recent appearance which led to shenanigans on live TV. [MollyGood]

Christina Aguilera plans to breastfeed her son Max until he's two, in order to maintain her E-cup breast size as long as possible. [GabbyBabble]

Yes, Christina Aguilera Has Humongous Breasts

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:33:00 GMT

Even after losing forty pounds of baby weight, Christina Aguilera still has ginormous breasts. But just how big are they?

An E cup, folks. A freaking E cup. They shouldn't even be called cup sizes at that point. She's in mixing bowl territory. And she's a pretty small woman.

We can't even fathom that. It seems kind-of painful and annoying. Or maybe we're just trying to make ourselves feel better about our breastal inadequacy (which we know is not a real term, but you're laughing with us, not at us, right?).

To be fair, she's breast feeding and will probably go down a cup size or or four when she stops. And her boobs will still be huge.

[Us: Christina Aguilera reveals her breast size]

Another Woman We've Never Heard of Is Maxim's Hottest Woman in The World

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:53:00 GMT

A few weeks back, Scanner Brian was perplexed by the fact that FHM had named a woman we'd never heard of as its sexiest woman in the world. This month, Maxim pulls the same trick (even though we have heard of her, but only from one of our own).

And the winner is...

Marisa Miller.

Should we know who she is? Probably. Do we? Only because of Scanner Bryan. Is she the hottest woman in the world? She's definitely hot, but enh.

Scanner Bryan, you're welcome to disagree. So are the folks at Maxim who say she "embodies the official return of the all-American supermodel... Not since Cindy Crawford ruled the catwalk has a pinup born and bred on U.S. soil so thoroughly captured the imagination of the American male."

Also on the list: Scarlett Johansson (No. 2), Jessica Biel (No. 3). And in the top 10: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Elisha Cuthbert, Eva Mendes, Christina Aguilera, Lindsay Lohan (who topped last year's list) and Ashley Tisdale.

How much do you think these women's publicists pay to get them on the list?

No, you know what? Fuck this list. We're taking nominations for Scanner's Hottest Women in the World in the comments section.

[People: Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel Make Maxim's Hot List]

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Has a Belly Just Like the Rest of Us While Marion Cotillard Has Some Naked Pictures Just Like the Rest of Us

Emily Farris — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:29:00 GMT

Brad and Angelina are thrilled to be adding to their brood.

In true American, post-award fashion, Fleshbot has some naked pictures of Marion Cotillard. Sorry, er, you're welcome?

Christina Aguilera will teach her son, Max, to respect women.

Britney Spears saw her sons for the first time in a long, long time.

Would you wear a David Beckham condom?

Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week We Learned to Appreciate Our Bodies Just the Way They Are

Emily Farris — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:57:00 GMT

We spent the week contemplating our belly buttons, boobs, bellies and butts. And in the end, we appreciate what nature gave us a little bit more than we did when the week began. How about you?

Highs:

This woman's ginormous breasts (NSFW) made us appreciate the lightness of being small chested just a litlte bit more.

These women like their butts just the way they are. OK, lies! They want them bigger.

This body of work got us more excited than anything all week.

France wants children to learn about their bodies.

We ogled Christina Aguilera's baby body.

We're not sure if this is a high or a low, but Lindsay Lohan's body. 'Nuff said.

Lows:

Gene Simmons made a sex tape. While wearing a t-shirt. And the girl was wearing flip flops. This also made us appreciate our bodies in so, so many ways.

Courtney Cox needs a fucking sandwich. STAT!

This man claims to have appreciated Barack Obama's body in the nineties. But we're not buying it. Obama has much better taste!

This man appreciates art and his dick.

MSNBC got somebodies mixed up.

Caption This: Christina Aguilera Baby Boobs

Emily Farris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:26:00 GMT

[Image via FameCrawler]

Christina Aguilera Talks Penis Balloons

Emily Farris — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:57:00 GMT

From our big little sister FameCrawler: "I'm not Jewish, my husband is. I really had no idea about the bris," Christina said. "It was a very sweet experience. We had a lot of close friends come over and experience the bris with us. We're such a non-conventional couple... we had penis balloons everywhere!"

Sloppy Lunchtime Seconds: Nicole Richie, Christina Aguilera Have Babies

Emily Farris — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 18:03:00 GMT

Nicole Richie popped one out on Friday. Welcome to the world, Harlow Winter Kate Madden. (6 lbs., 7oz.).

Why Harlow?

The next day Christina Aguilera had a baby boy, Max Liron Bratman, (6 lbs. 2 oz.).

Jezebel picks out dresses for Golden Globe winners had they, you know, had a reason to dress up.

Image via Jezebel

Who Would You Rather: Katie Or Christina... The Results Are In

Emily Farris — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 21:29:00 GMT

Yesterday we asked which birthday girl you'd rather do: Katie Holmes or Christina Aguilera. We have to say, we're a little surprised by the winner...

Christina!

Here's the breakdown:

7 Votes for Christina
1 Vote for Katie, from someone who thinks she's still a virgin
1 Tie vote

We're a little shocked that Christina swept this, and we're pretty sure that 5 years ago, the results would have been very, very different.

Results as of 2:40 p.m. EST.

Who Would You Rather?: Birthday Girl Edition

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:21:00 GMT

Thank God for US Weekly or we'd have forgotten that today, December 18, is the birthday of Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes and Christina Aguilera. Because everyone wants to get laid on his or her birthday (and we already know everyone wants to fuck Brad Pitt), we ask you, who would you rather: Katie Holmes or Christina Aguilera?

Results will be posted around this time tomorrow so you have 24 hours to get out the vote.

US Weekly: Happy B'Day Brad, Katie and Christina!

Christina Bares Her Big 'Ol Baby Belly

Emily Farris — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:12:00 GMT

Like Demi Moore and Britney Spears before her, Christina Aguilera has decided to bare her big ol' baby belly on the cover of January's Marie Claire. Inside the glossy mag, Christina confronts "confrontational sexuality" and how it might affect life with baby and hubby Jordan Bratman:

"We're so labeled. If you're too sexual, you're slutty. If you're not sexual enough, you're a prude. I like to put it out there as a topic of conversation. Why does it bother you? What's your problem with it? Am I really hurting you? Let's get to the root of it."

When it comes to herself, she adds, "I have more than one side of me that likes to get out on a stage and sing. Sometimes I want to be aggressive, sometimes I want to feel empowered in my sexuality and my vulnerability. I want to put all that out there."

While she looks hot, there's always something a little disturbing about a come-fuck-me-look on a pregnant lady. Not that we think there's anything wrong with it, probably just because it reminds us a little of Ready to Drop #2: Poppin Mamas.