Reading Under the Influence

Scanner Matt — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 20:19:00 GMT

They say the two surviving enterprises in a spiraling economy are books and booze. People usually skip the vacation and the fancy nights out in rough times to stay home, cuddle up with a good book and get trashed. So why not give the people what they want for the holidays? Whether your friends and family are heavy readers or heavy drinkers here are some great book and booze pairings to give as (affordable) gifts.

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway and a bottle of Pernod

If one author comes to mind when talking about drinking and writing it's certainly Papa. This book is a favorite of ours, filled with big questions and underlying themes it's also an escapist fantasy into Europe. The characters drink Absynthe too in this book, but the real stuff is hard to come by and Pernod is delicious and won't make you crazy.

The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler and a bottle of gin.

The Portable Dorothy Parker by Dorothy Parker... and a bottle of gin.

While some claim The Big Sleep is Chandler's best work, other's say The Long Goodbye might be the pinnacle of 1950's pulp crime fiction. Chandler's protagonist and devout gin drinker, Detective Philip Marlowe, actually popularized the gimlet in America with this book. Chandler even shares a recipe in the novel: "A real Gimlet is half gin and half Rose's Lime Juice and nothing else. It beats martinis hollow."

Dorothy Parker would disagree, she was a devout martini lush as some say and knew how to party. She's also one of the funniest American writers we have, from short stories to poetry to essays and reviews. We believe she was a Beefeater girl herself.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and a bottle of your favorite bourbon

We know they made everyone read it in high school, but have you gave it a second glance? It could be the most genius American soap opera ever written. The characters drink mint juleps to keep cool in the summertime, but what's wrong with a little minty flavor (peppermints, candy canes etc... ) around the holidays? And of course bourbon is a must, though it doesn't have to be your grandfather's dusty bottle of J&B. (Faulkner was mint julep guy too.)

This is an easy one: Any Russian author and a bottle of vodka

Everyone has a classic Russian book they've always wanted read, whether it's Tolstoy's War and Peace, Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment or Nabokov's Lolita, (and if you're looking for a more recent book try Russian-American author Gary Shteyngart, who is brilliantly raunchy and hilarious in Russian Debutantes Hand Book and Absurdistan. As for the vodka, that's your choice. We prefer Grey Goose, but Smirnoff never killed anybody (maybe) and Stolichnaya is super Russian.

If you're feeling particularly generous this holiday season you can also include a pack of cigarettes with your gift.

Related:

Researchers Shocked and Appalled to Find Young People Use Drugs and Alcohol to Enhance Sex

Don't Miss: The State of the Union Drinking Game!

A Case of Mistaken Hard Lemonade

Holiday Gift Guide, Non-Scanner Edition: 99-Cent Condoms

Bryan Christian — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 21:38:00 GMT

If you're like the folks at LA2DAY, you've been forced by poverty and unrelenting procrastination to do your Christmas shopping at the local 99-cent store. Well have no fear, because among the wonderful gifting options you can find there: Fantasy Brand Latex Condoms. They're lubricated and have a reservoir tip, so you know they're quality, and we're sure they're sitting right next to a bunch of rash cream because of, um, the alphabet. Or something.

Photo of the Day: iThong

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:47:00 GMT

We thought thong sightings ended with the return of high-waisted mom jeans and boy-short panties, but Racked is running a photo of a customer at an Apple Store giving the shoppers a little Christmas present.

Poor girl. We know this is a little mean, but it's also a little funny. And we didn't take the picture. And it's not like her face is showing. We definitely would not have run this if her face was showing or she had an identifying lower back tattoo.