Video of the Day: Welcome Back, Clinton

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Once again, we were unable to embed the video of the day-- damn you, internet.

This one's a musical number-- to the tune of "Welcome Back," the theme from "Welcome Back, Kotter," that Gabe Kaplan vehicle Travolta pulled out from under him. Anyway, this is about Bill and Hillary's return to the White House from a long summer away.

With this "technology," we could probably get away with a lot of Photoshoppin' shenanigans... anyone wanna make us a video where McCain has an orgy of beer, blonds, and blow?

Via YesButNoButYes.

On Our To-Do List: Fidel Castro

Katie Halper — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 15:32:00 GMT

Fidel Castro may be stepping down, but he's still standing erect. Whether you love him or hate him, we can all agree on one thing about Castro: El Jefe Has Got STAMINA. His speeches go on for hours and hours. His long, thick cigar is always lit. His revolution is constant and anything but predictable. And he ruled Cuba hard and firm for half a century, only stopping to come up for air and let his kid brother have his way with her.

On top of that, the insatiable, unbeatable, unstoppable Castro keeps going and going and going, in spite of his age and at least eight confirmed assassination attempts on his life. And let's be honest, when multiple U.S. presidents and CIA and FBI officials obsess over ways to eliminate the leader of an island the size of Pennsylvania, and aim many of their covert operations at said leader's cigar, it can only mean one thing: penis envy. Which is why Fidel Castro may be out of office. But he is On Our To-Do List.

[Previously on Scanner: Who Would You Rather Deluxe Edition: Fidel Castro or George W. Bush Then and Now?]

[Previously on Scanner: Your Talking Points: Fidel Castro Retires]

Scanner : cigar

Video of the Day: Welcome Back, Clinton

On Our To-Do List: Fidel Castro